An etiquette question
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After a lovely nap this afternoon, I looked at my phone. On FB there was an announcement that my brother and his long-time girlfriend had gotten married today.
She posted it. I called my other brother, who was equally in the dark.
I really don't know how to respond. Should I say congratulations? What the hell did you go and get married for? I really don't want to respond at all to a FB announcement. Weird.
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After a lovely nap this afternoon, I looked at my phone. On FB there was an announcement that my brother and his long-time girlfriend had gotten married today.
She posted it. I called my other brother, who was equally in the dark.
I really don't know how to respond. Should I say congratulations? What the hell did you go and get married for? I really don't want to respond at all to a FB announcement. Weird.
@Mik said in An etiquette question:
After a lovely nap this afternoon, I looked at my phone. On FB there was an announcement that my brother and his long-time girlfriend had gotten married today.
She posted it. I called my other brother, who was equally in the dark.
I really don't know how to respond. Should I say congratulations? What the hell did you go and get married for? I really don't want to respond at all to a FB announcement. Weird.
@Mik said in An etiquette question:
After a lovely nap this afternoon, I looked at my phone. On FB there was an announcement that my brother and his long-time girlfriend had gotten married today.
She posted it. I called my other brother, who was equally in the dark.
I really don't know how to respond. Should I say congratulations? What the hell did you go and get married for? I really don't want to respond at all to a FB announcement. Weird.
I'd say that they chose FB for the message, so if you want to respond, FB would be acceptable. They chose it first.
But it's me we're talking about. Not really my area.
Why tell people after the fact like this?
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Call the wife and congratulate her, then tell her to tell him he is an asshole.
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My first reaction is, he chose to announce it on FB because he didn't want to go through announcing it one-on-one -- for whatever reason.
To quote Aqua, it's not my area. If it were me, I'd be like, fine, be that way, and wait until he got in touch. That may not be the most humane or gracious way of handling it, or the most practical in the long term, for that matter.
A lot depends on your relationship with him. Are you close, not so close? Does it make sense that he'd do that -- get married without telling you beforehand? If the bride did it, maybe it was without his knowledge and he's still mulling how to tell y'all.
EDITED, an hour later: Thinking some more about this. I'd be pissed. This puts an obligation on you that you didn't ask for. You are forced now to decide, do I respond, do I not respond. You can't avoid making a decision, and either way will cause you stress. It's not fair to you.
I guess I'd advise you to do whatever will cause you the least heartache. And, as I said, a part of that involves how close you are to him, and how frank you feel you can be with him.
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Never sweat the small stuff.
Answer his announcement on Facebook, congratulate him and wish him all the best, in whatever vernacular you wish. You can even lie and ask them to visit sometime so you can meet the new in-law.
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Oh, we've already me her. She made a real mess of our family trip to the Keys in March.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill
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@Mik said in An etiquette question:
Oh, we've already me her. She made a real mess of our family trip to the Keys in March.
Is this the far left brother?
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@Mik said in An etiquette question:
She made a real mess of our family trip to the Keys in March.
Aha! A clue! Did your brother pick up on the fact that she did not enamor herself with y'all, and feared y'alls disapproval of his marrying her? He knew he needed to inform y'all of his marriage, but he chickened out with an FB announcement to spare himself hard times?
If that's the case, maybe let him hide, yeah? Send some quasi-perfunctory message of congratulations and let the next move be his/theirs.
If he didn't want the grief, he should understand that you don't, either.
Gawd. As a friend of mine once said, people can get into more trouble than anyone I know.
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An interesting perspective Cats! That could very well be. Yes, he was aware of the pandemonium.
The two couples were coming back from a day at the beach and my brother and the other brother's girlfriend went into the grocery. She ran into him inside and looked aghast that he was not wearing a mask, saying had she known that she would not have come.
Then later she stated that the rest of us could get sick because we were retired, but SHE was starting a new job. Then whenever she was around the rest of us she wore a mask.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill
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I would reply to your new sis-in-law's FB post with a brief 'Congrats and best wishes to both of you'.
That's all. Ten seconds of time. Done.Who knows why he didn't contact you himself. Take the high road. You won't have any regrets later, and that's what could matter to you in the future.
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I would reply to your new sis-in-law's FB post with a brief 'Congrats and best wishes to both of you'.
That's all. Ten seconds of time. Done.Who knows why he didn't contact you himself. Take the high road. You won't have any regrets later, and that's what could matter to you in the future.
@brenda said in An etiquette question:
I would reply to your new sis-in-law's FB post with a brief 'Congrats and best wishes to both of you'.
That's all. Ten seconds of time. Done.Who knows why he didn't contact you himself. Take the high road. You won't have any regrets later, and that's what could matter to you in the future.
See, that's the thing. When I take the high road, it's very often that I do have regrets. For years.
I dunno what that means exactly but just putting that out there. Not saying Mik should listen to me.
Please love yourself.
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An interesting perspective Cats! That could very well be. Yes, he was aware of the pandemonium.
The two couples were coming back from a day at the beach and my brother and the other brother's girlfriend went into the grocery. She ran into him inside and looked aghast that he was not wearing a mask, saying had she known that she would not have come.
Then later she stated that the rest of us could get sick because we were retired, but SHE was starting a new job. Then whenever she was around the rest of us she wore a mask.
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@brenda said in An etiquette question:
I would reply to your new sis-in-law's FB post with a brief 'Congrats and best wishes to both of you'.
That's all. Ten seconds of time. Done.Who knows why he didn't contact you himself. Take the high road. You won't have any regrets later, and that's what could matter to you in the future.
See, that's the thing. When I take the high road, it's very often that I do have regrets. For years.
I dunno what that means exactly but just putting that out there. Not saying Mik should listen to me.
@Aqua-Letifer said in An etiquette question:
@brenda said in An etiquette question:
I would reply to your new sis-in-law's FB post with a brief 'Congrats and best wishes to both of you'.
That's all. Ten seconds of time. Done.Who knows why he didn't contact you himself. Take the high road. You won't have any regrets later, and that's what could matter to you in the future.
See, that's the thing. When I take the high road, it's very often that I do have regrets. For years.
I dunno what that means exactly but just putting that out there. Not saying Mik should listen to me.
Nah. In the cosmic scales of life, the high road is worth more attaboys in the end.
