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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. RIP, Dad

RIP, Dad

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  • F Offline
    F Offline
    Friday
    wrote on last edited by
    #23

    My condolences on losing your father Horace. I'm glad you were there before his final sleep. I hope your mother is coping well.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • kluursK Offline
      kluursK Offline
      kluurs
      wrote on last edited by
      #24

      I'm glad he was able to be at home and have loved ones near. I'm sorry for your loss - my condolences to you and your family. Anyone who has had a family member die of this disease knows what a horrible disease this can be.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • OptimisticO Offline
        OptimisticO Offline
        Optimistic
        wrote on last edited by
        #25

        What a life he had! So sorry for your family´s loss, Horace.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • HoraceH Online
          HoraceH Online
          Horace
          wrote on last edited by
          #26

          Thanks again, everybody.

          @jodi - I didn't know you lived in Madison! That's neat. I spent my first 33 years there.

          @Friday - my mom is understandably devastated. This is hardest on her, having lived with him for 60 years. He's a part of her, and the void he left is the most difficult thing she's ever had to deal with. The kids are taking turns being with her, so she can ease into her new life without him. I'll probably spend April there with her in Missouri.

          Education is extremely important.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jodiJ Offline
            jodiJ Offline
            jodi
            wrote on last edited by jodi
            #27

            So sad for you mom. Good that you can spend April there. 1051 Jennifer Street, on the isthmus between the lakes - that’s where we lived. Really old house, found and Indian head penny when I dug up a space to put a garden in the yard. Used to love walking over to the Essenhaus (spelling?). And brats and beer on the terrace at the University. Really enjoyed living there. Great bike rides around Lake Monona.

            HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply
            • 89th8 Online
              89th8 Online
              89th
              wrote on last edited by
              #28

              Horace, are you from Burke? That's very close to where I grew up (and close to where I still live...for now).

              HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply
              • 89th8 89th

                Horace, are you from Burke? That's very close to where I grew up (and close to where I still live...for now).

                HoraceH Online
                HoraceH Online
                Horace
                wrote on last edited by
                #29

                @89th said in RIP, Dad:

                Horace, are you from Burke? That's very close to where I grew up (and close to where I still live...for now).

                Nope, my brother lives there. He teaches at George Mason.

                Education is extremely important.

                89th8 CopperC 2 Replies Last reply
                • jodiJ jodi

                  So sad for you mom. Good that you can spend April there. 1051 Jennifer Street, on the isthmus between the lakes - that’s where we lived. Really old house, found and Indian head penny when I dug up a space to put a garden in the yard. Used to love walking over to the Essenhaus (spelling?). And brats and beer on the terrace at the University. Really enjoyed living there. Great bike rides around Lake Monona.

                  HoraceH Online
                  HoraceH Online
                  Horace
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #30

                  @jodi said in RIP, Dad:

                  So sad for you mom. Good that you can spend April there. 1051 Jennifer Street, on the isthmus between the lakes - that’s where we lived. Really old house, found and Indian head penny when I dug up a space to put a garden in the yard. Used to love walking over to the Essenhaus (spelling?). And brats and beer on the terrace at the University. Really enjoyed living there. Great bike rides around Lake Monona.

                  Yes, it's a beautiful area. I spent my 0-dark-o'clock mornings my freshman year at the UW, rowing lake Mendota on the freshman crew team.

                  Education is extremely important.

                  taiwan_girlT 1 Reply Last reply
                  • HoraceH Horace

                    @89th said in RIP, Dad:

                    Horace, are you from Burke? That's very close to where I grew up (and close to where I still live...for now).

                    Nope, my brother lives there. He teaches at George Mason.

                    89th8 Online
                    89th8 Online
                    89th
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #31

                    @horace said in RIP, Dad:

                    @89th said in RIP, Dad:

                    Horace, are you from Burke? That's very close to where I grew up (and close to where I still live...for now).

                    Nope, my brother lives there. He teaches at George Mason.

                    Cool, we probably would've bought in Burke had we not decided to move.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • HoraceH Horace

                      @89th said in RIP, Dad:

                      Horace, are you from Burke? That's very close to where I grew up (and close to where I still live...for now).

                      Nope, my brother lives there. He teaches at George Mason.

                      CopperC Offline
                      CopperC Offline
                      Copper
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #32

                      @horace said in RIP, Dad:

                      He teaches at George Mason.

                      My daughter's high school graduation was at Mason. And many other events including Disney on Ice and Sesame Street Live!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • HoraceH Horace

                        @jodi said in RIP, Dad:

                        So sad for you mom. Good that you can spend April there. 1051 Jennifer Street, on the isthmus between the lakes - that’s where we lived. Really old house, found and Indian head penny when I dug up a space to put a garden in the yard. Used to love walking over to the Essenhaus (spelling?). And brats and beer on the terrace at the University. Really enjoyed living there. Great bike rides around Lake Monona.

                        Yes, it's a beautiful area. I spent my 0-dark-o'clock mornings my freshman year at the UW, rowing lake Mendota on the freshman crew team.

                        taiwan_girlT Offline
                        taiwan_girlT Offline
                        taiwan_girl
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #33

                        @horace :couple_with_heart:

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • HoraceH Horace

                          I flew into Missouri Saturday the 6th expecting to be able to spend some quality time with my Mom and Dad, a few days before the other two siblings and their families were coming in, for a large family get-together. My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a year ago, so everybody knew the clock was ticking. He chose to do a surgery because his oncologist dangled the words "possibly curative", and my dad really wanted to watch more of his grandkids lives. The surgeon disagreed and told him the surgery would not extend his life expectancy regardless. But he had the surgery last September, a very risky and painful one. He squeeked through it, but then in January 2021 they scanned him again and the cancer was in his liver, so it was just a matter of time. When I got there on the 6th, he had deteriorated drastically over just the recent few days. He'd gone from walking around, alert and relatively chatty, to being unable to stand or easily process or pronounce words. I'm still not sure why the cognition declined so much. Maybe it's a natural part of the dying process as the whole body shuts down, or the other theory my family has is that the cancer had spread to his brain. I don't know how it could have grown so fast, just a week or so, if that was the reason. Hospice got him a hospital bed for the living room on Sunday the 7th, and mom and I were giving him water through a syringe because he could no longer drink out of cups. He would fall asleep between sips. On Sunday night it was clear he would probably not make it to Wednesday to see the rest of the kids, so I called my siblings to get there as soon as they could. They all got there Monday night, but my dad had by that time fallen asleep for the last time. My sister was there for his last breath but my brother arrived a little later. They wheeled him out that night, feet first, as he had sometimes expressed was his wish. To die at home.

                          IvorythumperI Offline
                          IvorythumperI Offline
                          Ivorythumper
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #34

                          @horace I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I will lift an Ave for your father, and especially for your mother's consolation and for the rest of the family.

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