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The New Coffee Room

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  3. Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives

Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives

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  • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

    Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.

    And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’

    JollyJ Offline
    JollyJ Offline
    Jolly
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    @LuFins-Dad said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

    Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.

    And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’

    Thought the same thing. Even my son in Austin texts/calls a few times a week. My daughter, we hear from daily, mainly coordinating logistics for grandkids.

    “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

    1 Reply Last reply
    • X Online
      X Online
      xenon
      wrote on last edited by xenon
      #10

      Traditionally, Indian males never leave the house. You can be very closely involved with your parents and still be independent.

      If I never moved to the U.S., I would likely still be living with my parents.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • 89th8 89th

        @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

        @89th excellent point. We communicate with our daughter a couple times a week through texts and usually a call a week. Unless she asks I try to avoid advising. It’s usually just sharing what’s going on in our lives. If that’s over involved, so be it. We helped with grad school and her move, but other than that we have not been financially involved.

        That makes sense. Good on you. It will be weird when my 3 toddler kids are older, have jobs, etc. Naturally I have the feeling of "Hey, I have savings, here's some cash" but I know it'll be important for them to get jobs in high school, work hard, even minimum wage (selfishly, because I did that when I was 16, too....I think it was $5.50 an hour to lifeguard).

        Did you have a similar feeling where, if you are fortunate enough, you have a good chunk of cash in the bank (that'll they'll eventually inherit) but also need to let them learn how to work and scrape by as a teenager and/or through college?

        JollyJ Offline
        JollyJ Offline
        Jolly
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        @89th said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

        @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

        @89th excellent point. We communicate with our daughter a couple times a week through texts and usually a call a week. Unless she asks I try to avoid advising. It’s usually just sharing what’s going on in our lives. If that’s over involved, so be it. We helped with grad school and her move, but other than that we have not been financially involved.

        That makes sense. Good on you. It will be weird when my 3 toddler kids are older, have jobs, etc. Naturally I have the feeling of "Hey, I have savings, here's some cash" but I know it'll be important for them to get jobs in high school, work hard, even minimum wage (selfishly, because I did that when I was 16, too....I think it was $5.50 an hour to lifeguard).

        Did you have a similar feeling where, if you are fortunate enough, you have a good chunk of cash in the bank (that'll they'll eventually inherit) but also need to let them learn how to work and scrape by as a teenager and/or through college?

        Do you one better...One of my clients had several million dollars, a couple of which was through my company (due to rock bottom fees, $90/year) and he had at least 1/2 million in art.

        His will stipulated how his wife would be cared for (quite well), that his grandkids had their bachelor degrees paid for (but no advanced degrees, unless they had money left from their bachelor's) and that his children got enough money for a decent week's vacation.

        Other than that, the house, artwork and money went to art museums and charities.

        He felt that too much money spoiled people.

        “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

        Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

        1 Reply Last reply
        • CopperC Offline
          CopperC Offline
          Copper
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          Yes, money makes you stupid.
          Mike Tyson, US Grant, Burt Reynolds, Phil Mickelson, Hunter Biden

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins Dad
            wrote on last edited by
            #13
            This post is deleted!
            1 Reply Last reply
            • AxtremusA Offline
              AxtremusA Offline
              Axtremus
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              @Jolly :

              He felt that too much money spoiled people.

              @Copper :

              Yes, money makes you stupid.

              Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax! 👍 👍

              CopperC MikM 2 Replies Last reply
              • JollyJ Offline
                JollyJ Offline
                Jolly
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Don't let us stop you.

                “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                1 Reply Last reply
                • AxtremusA Axtremus

                  @Jolly :

                  He felt that too much money spoiled people.

                  @Copper :

                  Yes, money makes you stupid.

                  Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax! 👍 👍

                  CopperC Offline
                  CopperC Offline
                  Copper
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  @Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                  @Jolly :

                  He felt that too much money spoiled people.

                  @Copper :

                  Yes, money makes you stupid.

                  Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax! 👍 👍

                  The effect of money on the government is even worse.

                  AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
                  • HoraceH Offline
                    HoraceH Offline
                    Horace
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Yes rich governments are stupid.

                    Education is extremely important.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • CopperC Copper

                      @Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                      @Jolly :

                      He felt that too much money spoiled people.

                      @Copper :

                      Yes, money makes you stupid.

                      Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax! 👍 👍

                      The effect of money on the government is even worse.

                      AxtremusA Offline
                      AxtremusA Offline
                      Axtremus
                      wrote on last edited by Axtremus
                      #18

                      @Copper said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                      @Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                      @Jolly :

                      He felt that too much money spoiled people.

                      @Copper :

                      Yes, money makes you stupid.

                      Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax! 👍 👍

                      The effect of money on the government is even worse.

                      @Horace :

                      Yes rich governments are stupid.

                      Sound arguments for redistribution and deficit spending! 👍 👍

                      Redistribution and deficit spending will prevent the money from accumulating in government coffers.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • LuFins DadL Offline
                        LuFins DadL Offline
                        LuFins Dad
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        If people with money become too stupid, the problem fixes itself. If Governments with money become too stupid, the problem just compounds.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • AxtremusA Axtremus

                          @Jolly :

                          He felt that too much money spoiled people.

                          @Copper :

                          Yes, money makes you stupid.

                          Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax! 👍 👍

                          MikM Offline
                          MikM Offline
                          Mik
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          @Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                          @Jolly :

                          He felt that too much money spoiled people.

                          @Copper :

                          Yes, money makes you stupid.

                          Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax! 👍 👍

                          Oh hell no. Good arguments for charitable contribution, not governmental confiscation.

                          "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • MikM Mik

                            Yes. It is good for them to not feel immediate affluence as young adults. Shes doing well at budgeting, even if she’s made a few choices i would not have her make.

                            89th8 Offline
                            89th8 Offline
                            89th
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                            Yes. It is good for them to not feel immediate affluence as young adults. Shes doing well at budgeting, even if she’s made a few choices i would not have her make.

                            Thanks (and @Jolly too). I can’t imagine how hard it might be to see a mistake and let it play out without getting involved. Within reason of course.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • MikM Offline
                              MikM Offline
                              Mik
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Being a dad is really pretty easy compared to learning how to not be a dad.

                              "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

                                Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.

                                And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’

                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                @LuFins-Dad said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                                Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.

                                And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’

                                Relative to my generation. I didn’t know many people who talked to their parents several times a week when I was in my 20s.

                                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                  @LuFins-Dad said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                                  Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.

                                  And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’

                                  Relative to my generation. I didn’t know many people who talked to their parents several times a week when I was in my 20s.

                                  LuFins DadL Offline
                                  LuFins DadL Offline
                                  LuFins Dad
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  @jon-nyc said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                                  @LuFins-Dad said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                                  Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.

                                  And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’

                                  Relative to my generation. I didn’t know many people who talked to their parents several times a week when I was in my 20s.

                                  And how did that work out?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    I’m fucking awesome.

                                    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • JollyJ Offline
                                      JollyJ Offline
                                      Jolly
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      Well...Right words, wrong order?

                                      “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                      Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • MikM Offline
                                        MikM Offline
                                        Mik
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        I didn’t talk to my parents that often when I was out of the house either. It was long distance and expensive. Plus we had a very different relationship.

                                        "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • AxtremusA Offline
                                          AxtremusA Offline
                                          Axtremus
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          IMG_0108.jpeg

                                          Source: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Kay-Axhausen/publication/228540313_Activity_Spaces_Biographies_Social_Networks_and_Their_Welfare_Gains_and_Externalities_Some_Hypotheses_and_Empirical_Results/links/004635199ca570f4cb000000/Activity-Spaces-Biographies-Social-Networks-and-Their-Welfare-Gains-and-Externalities-Some-Hypotheses-and-Empirical-Results.pdf

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