Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives
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Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.
And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’
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Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.
And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’
@LuFins-Dad said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.
Your reading is incomplete. It's "texting several times a week and offering advice and financial support."
It's "offering advise" and "financial support" on top of "texting several times a week," not just the frequent texting.Still, for young adults who are still full-time students, the "financial support" part is not surprising.
And I agree that "texting several times a week" or even "calling several times a week" is not unusual ... some families just communicate more frequently than others. -
@89th excellent point. We communicate with our daughter a couple times a week through texts and usually a call a week. Unless she asks I try to avoid advising. It’s usually just sharing what’s going on in our lives. If that’s over involved, so be it. We helped with grad school and her move, but other than that we have not been financially involved.
"The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil
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offering advice and financial support."
My daughter and grandchildren can have as much of my advice and financial support as they want, whenever they want. If they don't want it, that is fine too.
Either way I don't think there is anything weird about it. We all live in the same small town.
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@89th excellent point. We communicate with our daughter a couple times a week through texts and usually a call a week. Unless she asks I try to avoid advising. It’s usually just sharing what’s going on in our lives. If that’s over involved, so be it. We helped with grad school and her move, but other than that we have not been financially involved.
@Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@89th excellent point. We communicate with our daughter a couple times a week through texts and usually a call a week. Unless she asks I try to avoid advising. It’s usually just sharing what’s going on in our lives. If that’s over involved, so be it. We helped with grad school and her move, but other than that we have not been financially involved.
That makes sense. Good on you. It will be weird when my 3 toddler kids are older, have jobs, etc. Naturally I have the feeling of "Hey, I have savings, here's some cash" but I know it'll be important for them to get jobs in high school, work hard, even minimum wage (selfishly, because I did that when I was 16, too....I think it was $5.50 an hour to lifeguard).
Did you have a similar feeling where, if you are fortunate enough, you have a good chunk of cash in the bank (that'll they'll eventually inherit) but also need to let them learn how to work and scrape by as a teenager and/or through college?
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Yes. It is good for them to not feel immediate affluence as young adults. Shes doing well at budgeting, even if she’s made a few choices i would not have her make.
"The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil
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Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.
And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’
@LuFins-Dad said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
Texting several times a week is “Highly Involved?! FFS, what is wrong with this world.
And we’re surprised that parents and children that stay close as adults are generally happier and pleased? Again I ask, WTF?’
Thought the same thing. Even my son in Austin texts/calls a few times a week. My daughter, we hear from daily, mainly coordinating logistics for grandkids.
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@Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@89th excellent point. We communicate with our daughter a couple times a week through texts and usually a call a week. Unless she asks I try to avoid advising. It’s usually just sharing what’s going on in our lives. If that’s over involved, so be it. We helped with grad school and her move, but other than that we have not been financially involved.
That makes sense. Good on you. It will be weird when my 3 toddler kids are older, have jobs, etc. Naturally I have the feeling of "Hey, I have savings, here's some cash" but I know it'll be important for them to get jobs in high school, work hard, even minimum wage (selfishly, because I did that when I was 16, too....I think it was $5.50 an hour to lifeguard).
Did you have a similar feeling where, if you are fortunate enough, you have a good chunk of cash in the bank (that'll they'll eventually inherit) but also need to let them learn how to work and scrape by as a teenager and/or through college?
@89th said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@89th excellent point. We communicate with our daughter a couple times a week through texts and usually a call a week. Unless she asks I try to avoid advising. It’s usually just sharing what’s going on in our lives. If that’s over involved, so be it. We helped with grad school and her move, but other than that we have not been financially involved.
That makes sense. Good on you. It will be weird when my 3 toddler kids are older, have jobs, etc. Naturally I have the feeling of "Hey, I have savings, here's some cash" but I know it'll be important for them to get jobs in high school, work hard, even minimum wage (selfishly, because I did that when I was 16, too....I think it was $5.50 an hour to lifeguard).
Did you have a similar feeling where, if you are fortunate enough, you have a good chunk of cash in the bank (that'll they'll eventually inherit) but also need to let them learn how to work and scrape by as a teenager and/or through college?
Do you one better...One of my clients had several million dollars, a couple of which was through my company (due to rock bottom fees, $90/year) and he had at least 1/2 million in art.
His will stipulated how his wife would be cared for (quite well), that his grandkids had their bachelor degrees paid for (but no advanced degrees, unless they had money left from their bachelor's) and that his children got enough money for a decent week's vacation.
Other than that, the house, artwork and money went to art museums and charities.
He felt that too much money spoiled people.
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This post is deleted!
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@Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@Jolly :
He felt that too much money spoiled people.
@Copper :
Yes, money makes you stupid.
Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax!
The effect of money on the government is even worse.
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@Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@Jolly :
He felt that too much money spoiled people.
@Copper :
Yes, money makes you stupid.
Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax!
The effect of money on the government is even worse.
@Copper said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@Jolly :
He felt that too much money spoiled people.
@Copper :
Yes, money makes you stupid.
Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax!
The effect of money on the government is even worse.
@Horace :
Yes rich governments are stupid.
Sound arguments for redistribution and deficit spending!
Redistribution and deficit spending will prevent the money from accumulating in government coffers.
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If people with money become too stupid, the problem fixes itself. If Governments with money become too stupid, the problem just compounds.
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@Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
@Jolly :
He felt that too much money spoiled people.
@Copper :
Yes, money makes you stupid.
Good arguments for progressive taxation, wealth tax, and estate tax!
Oh hell no. Good arguments for charitable contribution, not governmental confiscation.
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Yes. It is good for them to not feel immediate affluence as young adults. Shes doing well at budgeting, even if she’s made a few choices i would not have her make.
@Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:
Yes. It is good for them to not feel immediate affluence as young adults. Shes doing well at budgeting, even if she’s made a few choices i would not have her make.
Thanks (and @Jolly too). I can’t imagine how hard it might be to see a mistake and let it play out without getting involved. Within reason of course.
