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The New Coffee Room

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  3. At school in Vegas

At school in Vegas

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  • JollyJ Offline
    JollyJ Offline
    Jolly
    wrote on last edited by
    #28

    cross the Rubicon
    Irrevocably commit to a course of action, make a fateful and final decision. For example, Once he submitted his resignation, he had crossed the Rubicon. This phrase alludes to Julius Caesar's crossing the Rubicon River (between Italy and Gaul) in 49 b.c., thereby starting a war against Pompey and the Roman Senate. Recounted in Plutarch's Lives: Julius Caesar (c. a.d. 110), the crossing gave rise to the figurative English usage by the early 1600s.

    Al Davis rules? Just win, baby!

    “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

    1 Reply Last reply
    • AxtremusA Offline
      AxtremusA Offline
      Axtremus
      wrote on last edited by
      #29

      Now I am going to address @Aqua-Letifer’s answer (then get to @Copper and @Jolly and @Larry’s answers in turn).

      @Aqua-Letifer: ”A lot of things about right and wrong, about rules and procedures, and about the times in which someone has to step up because there is no adult vs. getting hurt or killed because you tried to play the hero. After school these situations get very complicated.”

      This, I appreciate, it shows that you recognize the complexity.

      @Aqua-Letifer: ”But for a school situation, I'm going to be telling her something similar to what mik and Larry said. In school, you see that sort of shit, you don't wait for a fucking adult, you stop it.”

      Two problems with this:

      1. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers. “Stop it”? How? To the point of staking your own life on it, or to some lesser degree?
      2. The underlying assumption that your kid has the capability to “stop it,” without qualification. This may not be true.
      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
      • CopperC Copper

        @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

        Now you folks (@Jolly, @Aqua-Letifer, @Larry, etc.) go ahead and tell me what you, if you take the position of a parent, would tell your own kid to deal with something like this if your kid were to witness it in his/her class.

        Fire at least one shot in the air to make sure the attacker understands the situation.

        If the attacker continues, put a couple into her kneecaps, that should discourage her.

        AxtremusA Offline
        AxtremusA Offline
        Axtremus
        wrote on last edited by
        #30

        @copper said in At school in Vegas:

        @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

        Now you folks (@Jolly, @Aqua-Letifer, @Larry, etc.) go ahead and tell me what you, if you take the position of a parent, would tell your own kid to deal with something like this if your kid were to witness it in his/her class.

        Fire at least one shot in the air to make sure the attacker understands the situation.

        If the attacker continues, put a couple into her kneecaps, that should discourage her.

        One problem with this is the assumption that your kid will have the bigger firepower (and the corresponding ability to effectively deploy the firepower). This may not be true. When this is not true, escalating the issue becomes dangerous to your kid.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • JollyJ Jolly

          My kids? What do I know? My kids, both the boy and the girl, cold-cocked another kid that would not leave them alone. Like Mik, my kids were taught to not start fights, but when one starts, you finish it. And finish it, they did...In my daughter's case, she knocked out a guy, not another girl.

          My kids were also taught not to get in the middle of a fair fight, but you don't let other kids get ganged up on or beaten. Sometimes, that means getting an adult to intervene. Sometimes, it means stopping something from happening. Again, when that Rubicon is crossed, there is no such thing as a fair fight. It's Al Davis rules at that point.

          AxtremusA Offline
          AxtremusA Offline
          Axtremus
          wrote on last edited by
          #31

          @jolly said in At school in Vegas:

          My kids were also taught not to get in the middle of a fair fight, but you don't let other kids get ganged up on or beaten.

          Ok, I appreciate the nuance there, you steer clear of other people’s “fair fights,” however that “fairness” is judged.

          Sometimes, that means getting an adult to intervene.

          OK, that one is consistent with my answer, no argument there.

          Sometimes, it means stopping something from happening.

          Does not seem sufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, but I suppose we can dig deeper into this is you care to.

          Again, when that Rubicon is crossed, there is no such thing as a fair fight. It's Al Davis rules at that point.

          Makes sense if your kid is the one being attacked since self-defense would then become a necessity. Otherwise that has the same problem with @Copper’s answer — the assumption that your kid has the bigger fists. If your kid started of being a by-standing witness to a physical altercation, whether to “cross the Rubicon” for your kid is up to your kid — whether to intervene in someone else’s fight. Cannot say I see a clear answer from you yet about whether you want your kid to intervene in the sort of situation as shown in the video.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LarryL Offline
            LarryL Offline
            Larry
            wrote on last edited by
            #32

            Oh for fuck's sake... you just want to have a verbal circle jerk..

            JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
            • AxtremusA Offline
              AxtremusA Offline
              Axtremus
              wrote on last edited by
              #33

              @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

              “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

              LarryL KlausK 2 Replies Last reply
              • AxtremusA Axtremus

                @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #34

                @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                You're so fucking stupid it hurts my feelings. There's not a man on this board who needs "you finish it" explained to them.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • AxtremusA Axtremus

                  @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                  “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                  KlausK Offline
                  KlausK Offline
                  Klaus
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #35

                  @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                  @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                  “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                  A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                  MikM AxtremusA 2 Replies Last reply
                  • LarryL Larry

                    Oh for fuck's sake... you just want to have a verbal circle jerk..

                    JollyJ Offline
                    JollyJ Offline
                    Jolly
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #36

                    @larry said in At school in Vegas:

                    Oh for fuck's sake... you just want to have a verbal circle jerk..

                    Well, that's a descriptive way of putting it...

                    “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • KlausK Klaus

                      @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                      @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                      “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                      A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                      MikM Offline
                      MikM Offline
                      Mik
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #37

                      @klaus said in At school in Vegas:

                      @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                      @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                      “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                      A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                      Amen.

                      “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • AxtremusA Axtremus

                        @aqua-letifer said in At school in Vegas:

                        @jolly said in At school in Vegas:

                        @jolly said in At school in Vegas:

                        @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                        @aqua-letifer said in At school in Vegas:

                        @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                        What would be the right policy for something like this?

                        If you are the school administrator, the district's superintendent, or the state's secretary of education, what policy would you put out to advise staff (school employees) and students on what to do if they were to witness something like this?

                        Annnnnnd that's exactly why you'd watch it happen like they did.

                        The inability to articulate a coherent policy leads to inaction.

                        Take it closer to home, forget about being an administrator or superintendent, just take your position simply as a parent with kids in the school. What would you, as a parent, tell your own child what to do if/when she sees something like this in her class?

                        What would you tell them?

                        I'm waiting...

                        Yeah, Ax can go, then I will.

                        This is what I would tell them:

                        1. If there is no school staff member (legal adult) in the room, go get a school staff member (make your way to the principal’s office, alert the first staff member you encounter along the way).

                        2. If there is a school staff member (legal adult) in the room, let that staff member handle it.

                        3. If you are not happy with how the school staff member is handling it, go get another school staff member (make your way to the principal’s office, alert the first staff member you encounter along the way).

                        4. (Depending on policy/guidelines issued by the state, the district, or the school, I reserve me right to revise what I would tell the kids to work within those policy/guidelines.)

                        Now you folks (@Jolly, @Aqua-Letifer, @Larry, etc.) go ahead and tell me what you, if you take the position of a parent, would tell your own kid to deal with something like this if your kid were to witness it in his/her class.

                        89th8 Offline
                        89th8 Offline
                        89th
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #38

                        @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                        Now you folks (@Jolly, @Aqua-Letifer, @Larry, etc.) go ahead and tell me what you

                        First, I would say... make sure you have the phone in landscape and not portrait mode for the video.

                        (kidding)

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • KlausK Klaus

                          @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                          @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                          “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                          A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                          AxtremusA Offline
                          AxtremusA Offline
                          Axtremus
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #39

                          @klaus said in At school in Vegas:

                          @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                          @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                          “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                          A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                          Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.

                          “Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.

                          KlausK LarryL 2 Replies Last reply
                          • JollyJ Offline
                            JollyJ Offline
                            Jolly
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #40

                            Care to write out your instructions?

                            “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                            Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • AxtremusA Axtremus

                              Now I am going to address @Aqua-Letifer’s answer (then get to @Copper and @Jolly and @Larry’s answers in turn).

                              @Aqua-Letifer: ”A lot of things about right and wrong, about rules and procedures, and about the times in which someone has to step up because there is no adult vs. getting hurt or killed because you tried to play the hero. After school these situations get very complicated.”

                              This, I appreciate, it shows that you recognize the complexity.

                              @Aqua-Letifer: ”But for a school situation, I'm going to be telling her something similar to what mik and Larry said. In school, you see that sort of shit, you don't wait for a fucking adult, you stop it.”

                              Two problems with this:

                              1. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers. “Stop it”? How? To the point of staking your own life on it, or to some lesser degree?
                              2. The underlying assumption that your kid has the capability to “stop it,” without qualification. This may not be true.
                              Aqua LetiferA Offline
                              Aqua LetiferA Offline
                              Aqua Letifer
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #41

                              @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                              Now I am going to address @Aqua-Letifer’s answer (then get to @Copper and @Jolly and @Larry’s answers in turn).

                              @Aqua-Letifer: ”A lot of things about right and wrong, about rules and procedures, and about the times in which someone has to step up because there is no adult vs. getting hurt or killed because you tried to play the hero. After school these situations get very complicated.”

                              This, I appreciate, it shows that you recognize the complexity.

                              @Aqua-Letifer: ”But for a school situation, I'm going to be telling her something similar to what mik and Larry said. In school, you see that sort of shit, you don't wait for a fucking adult, you stop it.”

                              Two problems with this:

                              1. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers. “Stop it”? How? To the point of staking your own life on it, or to some lesser degree?
                              2. The underlying assumption that your kid has the capability to “stop it,” without qualification. This may not be true.

                              One problem with this:

                              My response was based on my poor handling of situations like this when I was the child, and what I learned from that. Yours is based on conceptual masturbation.

                              Forgive me for not really caring what you think of my response, but I sincerely doubt your own ability to deal with a situation like this on any level.

                              Please love yourself.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • AxtremusA Axtremus

                                @klaus said in At school in Vegas:

                                @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                                @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                                “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                                A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                                Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.

                                “Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.

                                KlausK Offline
                                KlausK Offline
                                Klaus
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #42

                                @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                                @klaus said in At school in Vegas:

                                @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                                @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                                “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                                A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                                Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.

                                “Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.

                                It's not that difficult. If a kid A is being treated quite unfairly or violently by another kid B, you help A, either by getting involved in the fight or, if applicable, get an adult to interfere. Kids with a healthy background actually have a quite decent instinct on what the right thing to do in such situations is. Micromanagement is a terrible parenting strategy. You show the general direction, not every step along the way.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • AxtremusA Axtremus

                                  @klaus said in At school in Vegas:

                                  @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                                  @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                                  “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                                  A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                                  Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.

                                  “Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.

                                  LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #43

                                  @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                                  @klaus said in At school in Vegas:

                                  @axtremus said in At school in Vegas:

                                  @Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”

                                  “You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.

                                  A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.

                                  Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.

                                  “Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.

                                  You are a stone cold moron.

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