This sounds really stupid, but it's definitely true for me: when people (oh let's just say my pathological co-workers) piss me off, staying calm and pleasant because it's the Christian thing to do is almost entirely ineffective for me. But if I can find a way to fully empathize with them, even if I disagree and think they're terrible humans, I can keep from getting pissed. Their actions may be disgusting, but at least they make sense, they're understandable. I don't know why that douses the fuse, but very often times it does.