My Dark Lord Sauron (may his name reverberate through the ages) could take Jesus any day. The guy wore sandals FFS, and Sauron was about 18 feet tall with a massive freaking sword. Jesus had a bunch of semi-itinerant fishermen, and Sauron had an army of orcs, probably balrogs and shit to boot and a pet wizard.
Obviously, Sauron didn't actually exist, so the question is kind of moot. Still, he could take him.
Sauron ain't shit without his bling. Pretty weak IMO.
Your guy's got chocolate eggs and a decorative fir tree. Good look fighting the fires of Mordor with that shit.
Christmas Tree delivery to Mount Doom. Put ring on fairy lights. Delivery blunder into the lava. Your average incompetent UPS driver could accomplish that one.