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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #677

    Scientists announced that dolphins are second to man in intelligence.

    I guess that pushes women down to third place.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #678

      The guy that coined the term “one hit wonder” never came up with another catchy phrase.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #679

        My friend had strobe lights installed in his bedroom. He says the sex is the same, but his wife looks like she’s moving.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • X Offline
          X Offline
          xenon
          wrote on last edited by
          #680

          What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

          The taste.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • X Offline
            X Offline
            xenon
            wrote on last edited by
            #681

            I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people...

            ...but none of them work.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • X Offline
              X Offline
              xenon
              wrote on last edited by
              #682

              So this guy with premature ejaculation comes outta nowhere...

              1 Reply Last reply
              • Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3
                wrote on last edited by
                #683

                Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #684

                  I heard this cool music coming from my printer last night.

                  Apparently my paper was jamming.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • George KG Offline
                    George KG Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #685

                    My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

                    Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

                    She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

                    I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'

                    She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

                    I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

                    The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

                    Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG George K

                      My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

                      Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

                      She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

                      I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'

                      She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

                      I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

                      The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

                      Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

                      Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3
                      wrote on last edited by Catseye3
                      #686

                      @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                      WTF did he think you were trying to do???

                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                      George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                      • Catseye3C Catseye3

                        @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                        WTF did he think you were trying to do???

                        George KG Offline
                        George KG Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #687

                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                        @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                        WTF did he think you were doing???

                        Two things:

                        1. Checking the effectiveness of our education system.
                        2. Making xer job easier.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #688

                          Can w‌‌e b‌‌an “‌‌Yo M‌‌omma” j‌‌okes?

                          T‌‌hey’re o‌‌ld, s‌‌tupid, a‌‌nd h‌‌ave b‌‌een d‌‌one b‌‌y l‌‌iterally e‌‌veryone h‌‌undreds o‌‌f t‌‌imes.

                          Just like yo momma.

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • George KG Offline
                            George KG Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #689

                            I really don't watch soccer...

                            If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would have taken my friends out to the bar.

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #690

                              So…. 50% of Roger Federer’s name is “er”.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • George KG Offline
                                George KG Offline
                                George K
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #691

                                So, yesterday was the Fourth of July, I just told my daughters they were named after George Washington.

                                About 280 years after to be precise.

                                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #692

                                  I’ve never been very good at geography. But I can name one city in France, which is nice.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #693

                                    How many Mexicans does it take to..

                                    HOLY SHIT THEY’RE ALREADY DONE

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #694

                                      How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                                      THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #695

                                        ’m so tired of Millennials and their attitudes.

                                        Always walking around like they rent the place.

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • George KG Offline
                                          George KG Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #696

                                          A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.

                                          Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

                                          “Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

                                          “But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

                                          “Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”

                                          Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

                                          “True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
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