So....
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I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
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Her: My husband’s been having trouble falling asleep.
Dr: Have you tried telling him about your day?
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My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
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The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.
It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.
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My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
Stealing....
The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.
It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.
Yeah, that one too.
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I just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
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Anybody can masturbate under a sheet.
But it takes real skill to do it without the hairdresser noticing.
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I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman.
In my experience you get far less pepper spray in them that way.
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I met my girlfriend on tinder.
Man that was awkward.