The New Coffee Room

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So....

General Discussion

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J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#631

Studies have shown people eat more bananas than monkeys.

Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

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Aqua's Sister
replied to jon-nyc on last edited by

#632

@jon-nyc said in So....:

I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.

That's not what you told me last week.
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Horace
wrote on last edited by

#633

racist
Education is extremely important.

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George K
wrote on last edited by

#634
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

1 Reply Last reply
J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#635

Therapist: What would you say to your dad if he were alive today?

Me: I’m sorry for cremating you. We honestly thought you were dead.
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

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George K
wrote on last edited by

#636

Having sex before going to work makes you feel like a manager.

I almost fired my boss today.
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

1 Reply Last reply
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G Offline
George K
wrote on last edited by

#637

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

1 Reply Last reply
J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#638

I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.

She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

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Larry
wrote on last edited by

#639

So....

I've always wondered why mosquitos don't become lawyers.

They're already blood sucking parasites, all they need is a briefcase....
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Larry
wrote on last edited by

#640

So..,,
A farmer"s wife left him after she caught him having sex with one of the horses..

It was her worst fucking night mare....
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Larry
wrote on last edited by

#641

So....

For years I was a circus performer. For my act, I would place a walnut on a table, then take out my Johnson, swing it at the walnut and crack it open.

Recently though I've switched to a coconut.

My eyesight isn't what it used to be....
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Larry
wrote on last edited by

#642

So...

My doctor told me I could touch myself any time I wanted to.

Well.... his exact words were "you could have a stroke at any time" but hey.....
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Larry
wrote on last edited by

#643

So....

The worst thing to feel during a prostate exam is two hands on your shoulders....
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Larry
wrote on last edited by

#644

So...

"IT'S A BOY!! IT'S A BOY!!" I yelled, as i made a mental note to never visit Thailand again...
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J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#645

Her: My husband’s been having trouble falling asleep.

Dr: Have you tried telling him about your day?
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

1 Reply Last reply
J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#646

My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

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J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#647

The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.

It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

1 Reply Last reply
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George K
replied to jon-nyc on last edited by

#648

@jon-nyc said in So....:

My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

Stealing....

The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.

It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.

Yeah, that one too.
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

1 Reply Last reply
J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#649

I just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

1 Reply Last reply
J Do not disturb

J Do not disturb
jon-nyc
wrote on last edited by

#650

Anybody can masturbate under a sheet.

But it takes real skill to do it without the hairdresser noticing.
DON’T let them eat cake.
- RFK Jr

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