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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 16 Jan 2022, 10:15 last edited by
    #476

    Nervous of flying? Don't be.

    As long as the 2 million parts in a plane work perfectly while travelling at close to the speed of sound as sharp metal blades rotate at supersonic speeds in temperatures of -65 degrees 7 miles above the Earth's surface, you'll be absolutely fine.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 16 Jan 2022, 12:03 last edited by
      #477

      I read somewhere that a million people get sick every year from eating tainted beef.

      Who the fuck is putting their taint on the beef anyway?

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • G Offline
        G Offline
        George K
        wrote on 16 Jan 2022, 12:29 last edited by
        #478

        Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

        Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral.

        However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

        One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

        The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
        "Do you notice anything different about me?"

        The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

        The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

        The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

        The Admiral threw him out as well.

        The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

        To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

        The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

        "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

        The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

        C 1 Reply Last reply 28 Jan 2022, 19:52
        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 16 Jan 2022, 20:29 last edited by
          #479

          Why won’t tampons talk to you?

          Because they’re stuck-up cunts.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Offline
            J Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 17 Jan 2022, 03:09 last edited by
            #480

            Dad: "I named you after my father."

            After My Father: "I know."

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • L Offline
              L Offline
              Larry
              wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 15:34 last edited by
              #481

              So....

              I did some mechanic work yesterday.

              I put a rear end in a recliner.....

              1 Reply Last reply
              • L Offline
                L Offline
                Larry
                wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 15:35 last edited by
                #482

                Breaking news:

                Resident Biden has tested positive for Moronavirus....

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 17:18 last edited by jon-nyc
                  #483

                  I got in touch with my inner self today.

                  That’s the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 19:29 last edited by
                    #484

                    Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites.

                    We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Offline
                      J Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 23:06 last edited by
                      #485

                      This dwarf I know wanted to quit his job to become a butcher.

                      But the steaks were too high.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J Offline
                        J Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 19 Jan 2022, 02:53 last edited by
                        #486

                        Why is fat-shaming people wrong?

                        They already have a lot on their plate.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J Offline
                          J Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 20 Jan 2022, 01:52 last edited by
                          #487

                          Friends are like giraffes.

                          If you shoot them, they die.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 20 Jan 2022, 01:52 last edited by
                            #488

                            What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

                            “Where’s my tractor????”

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Offline
                              J Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 20 Jan 2022, 23:55 last edited by
                              #489

                              In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                              It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              G L 2 Replies Last reply 21 Jan 2022, 00:09
                              • J jon-nyc
                                20 Jan 2022, 23:55

                                In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                G Offline
                                G Offline
                                George K
                                wrote on 21 Jan 2022, 00:09 last edited by
                                #490

                                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                alt text

                                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J jon-nyc
                                  20 Jan 2022, 23:55

                                  In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                  It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  LuFins Dad
                                  wrote on 21 Jan 2022, 00:25 last edited by LuFins Dad
                                  #491

                                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                  In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                  It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                  Okay, that is stolen… Edit… @George-K LMFAO

                                  The Brad

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 23 Jan 2022, 15:45 last edited by
                                    #492

                                    I have a fear of over-engineered buildings.

                                    It’s a complex complex complex.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      LuFins Dad
                                      wrote on 25 Jan 2022, 02:28 last edited by
                                      #493

                                      Did you see the Origami Championship on TV last night? It was Pay Per View…

                                      The Brad

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 28 Jan 2022, 13:43 last edited by
                                        #494

                                        There's no need to tailgate me in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35mph over the speed limit.

                                        And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • G George K
                                          16 Jan 2022, 12:29

                                          Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

                                          Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral.

                                          However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

                                          One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

                                          The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
                                          "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                                          The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

                                          The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

                                          The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

                                          The Admiral threw him out as well.

                                          The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                                          To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

                                          The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

                                          "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

                                          The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                                          C Offline
                                          C Offline
                                          Catseye3
                                          wrote on 28 Jan 2022, 19:52 last edited by
                                          #495

                                          @george-k said in So....:

                                          "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                                          7c536b33-f2d3-4f3c-9887-5315c8c4308b-image.png

                                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

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                                          18 Jan 2022, 23:06


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