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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • LarryL Larry

    If you drop a chocolate chip cookie on the floor and stoop down to pick it up, that counts as a squat, right?

    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #473

    @larry said in So....:

    If you drop a chocolate chip cookie on the floor and stoop down to pick it up, that counts as a squat, right?

    Or a lunge if you have to beat the dog to it.

    You were warned.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #474

      When I meet a woman I try to see what’s in her heart.

      It’s not my fault her tits are in the way.

      You were warned.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • LarryL Offline
        LarryL Offline
        Larry
        wrote on last edited by
        #475

        I asked my dog what 2 minus 2 was.

        He said nothing.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #476

          Nervous of flying? Don't be.

          As long as the 2 million parts in a plane work perfectly while travelling at close to the speed of sound as sharp metal blades rotate at supersonic speeds in temperatures of -65 degrees 7 miles above the Earth's surface, you'll be absolutely fine.

          You were warned.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #477

            I read somewhere that a million people get sick every year from eating tainted beef.

            Who the fuck is putting their taint on the beef anyway?

            You were warned.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #478

              Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

              Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral.

              However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

              One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

              The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
              "Do you notice anything different about me?"

              The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

              The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

              The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

              The Admiral threw him out as well.

              The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

              To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

              The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

              "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

              The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #479

                Why won’t tampons talk to you?

                Because they’re stuck-up cunts.

                You were warned.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #480

                  Dad: "I named you after my father."

                  After My Father: "I know."

                  You were warned.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • LarryL Offline
                    LarryL Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #481

                    So....

                    I did some mechanic work yesterday.

                    I put a rear end in a recliner.....

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • LarryL Offline
                      LarryL Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #482

                      Breaking news:

                      Resident Biden has tested positive for Moronavirus....

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                        #483

                        I got in touch with my inner self today.

                        That’s the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

                        You were warned.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #484

                          Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites.

                          We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

                          You were warned.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #485

                            This dwarf I know wanted to quit his job to become a butcher.

                            But the steaks were too high.

                            You were warned.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #486

                              Why is fat-shaming people wrong?

                              They already have a lot on their plate.

                              You were warned.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #487

                                Friends are like giraffes.

                                If you shoot them, they die.

                                You were warned.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #488

                                  What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

                                  “Where’s my tractor????”

                                  You were warned.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #489

                                    In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                    It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                    You were warned.

                                    George KG LuFins DadL 2 Replies Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                      In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                      It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                      George KG Offline
                                      George KG Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #490

                                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                      In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                      It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                      alt text

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                        In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                        It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                        LuFins DadL Offline
                                        LuFins DadL Offline
                                        LuFins Dad
                                        wrote on last edited by LuFins Dad
                                        #491

                                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                        In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                                        It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                                        Okay, that is stolen… Edit… @George-K LMFAO

                                        The Brad

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #492

                                          I have a fear of over-engineered buildings.

                                          It’s a complex complex complex.

                                          You were warned.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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