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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by George K
    #373

    I bought a new truck. It'll run on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.

    ”Nelson,” the technician said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie? ”Willie” he continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the speakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles,” and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.

    I drove away so happy, and for the next few days every time I'd say, “Beethoven” I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles” I'd get one of their awesome songs.

    Well, yesterday, this woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her. I yelled at her, “Crazy Bitch!”

    The radio replied, “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?”

    GOD, I love this truck!

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • Catseye3C Offline
      Catseye3C Offline
      Catseye3
      wrote on last edited by
      #374

      Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

      Because it's a little meteor.

      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

      George KG 1 Reply Last reply
      • Catseye3C Catseye3

        Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

        Because it's a little meteor.

        George KG Offline
        George KG Offline
        George K
        wrote on last edited by
        #375

        @catseye3 said in So....:

        Because it's a little meteor.

        Stealing that one for future use....

        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #376

          I hate hotel bathrobes. So thick and fluffy I can barely close my suitcase.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • LarryL Offline
            LarryL Offline
            Larry
            wrote on last edited by
            #377

            I don't understand what's so great about Switzerland, although its flag is a big plus.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • LarryL Offline
              LarryL Offline
              Larry
              wrote on last edited by
              #378

              So... there was a kidnapping at the local high school today....

              It's ok though, he finally woke up....

              1 Reply Last reply
              • LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #379

                So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                • LarryL Larry

                  So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                  George KG Offline
                  George KG Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #380

                  @larry said in So....:

                  So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                  Until you're Finnish...

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
                  • LarryL Offline
                    LarryL Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #381

                    I've been thinking about taking up meditation....

                    It beats sitting around doing nothing,.....

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG George K

                      @larry said in So....:

                      So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                      Until you're Finnish...

                      LarryL Offline
                      LarryL Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #382

                      @george-k said in So....:

                      @larry said in So....:

                      So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                      Until you're Finnish...

                      Bahahaha

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • LarryL Offline
                        LarryL Offline
                        Larry
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #383

                        I was going to tell a time traveling joke but you guys didn't get it.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • LarryL Offline
                          LarryL Offline
                          Larry
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #384

                          Me: "Doctor... i keep hearing a buzzing sound!"

                          Dr: " don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around.."

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Offline
                            LarryL Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #385

                            A drummer friend of mine and his wife just had twin girls.

                            They named them Anna.

                            Anna one, Anna two.......

                            taiwan_girlT 1 Reply Last reply
                            • Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #386

                              Q: What did the average Patriot player get on the Wonderlic test?

                              A: Drool.

                              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                              jon-nycJ 1 Reply Last reply
                              • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                Q: What did the average Patriot player get on the Wonderlic test?

                                A: Drool.

                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #387

                                @catseye3 said in So....:

                                Q: What did the average Patriot player get on the Wonderlic test?

                                A: Drool.

                                lolol

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG Offline
                                  George KG Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #388

                                  How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

                                  Just Juan.

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on last edited by George K
                                    #389

                                    I'm not sure if I'm an asshole or just an introvert.

                                    (Yeah, go ahead and embrace the wonderful power of and.)

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #390

                                      @george-k said in So....:

                                      How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

                                      Just Juan.

                                      Mexican word of the day:

                                      Chicken finger

                                      "My Juanita say she no need me no more cause chicken finger herself"

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • LarryL Offline
                                        LarryL Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #391

                                        So...., Albert Einstein's little brother Frank was an absolute monster...

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #392

                                          Knowledge is knowing a tomato is not a fruit.

                                          Wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.

                                          Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          George KG 2 Replies Last reply
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