So....
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Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”
Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”
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Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”
Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”
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wrote on 16 Oct 2021, 19:38 last edited by
So.... the guy who invented the Ferris wheel never met the guy who invented the merry go round.
They traveled in different circles....
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wrote on 17 Oct 2021, 11:23 last edited by George K
I bought a new truck. It'll run on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.
”Nelson,” the technician said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie? ”Willie” he continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the speakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles,” and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away so happy, and for the next few days every time I'd say, “Beethoven” I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles” I'd get one of their awesome songs.
Well, yesterday, this woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her. I yelled at her, “Crazy Bitch!”
The radio replied, “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?”
GOD, I love this truck!
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wrote on 17 Oct 2021, 23:09 last edited by
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 20:04 last edited by
I hate hotel bathrobes. So thick and fluffy I can barely close my suitcase.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:45 last edited by
I don't understand what's so great about Switzerland, although its flag is a big plus.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:50 last edited by
So... there was a kidnapping at the local high school today....
It's ok though, he finally woke up....
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:53 last edited by
So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:55 last edited by
I've been thinking about taking up meditation....
It beats sitting around doing nothing,.....
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:58 last edited by
I was going to tell a time traveling joke but you guys didn't get it.
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wrote on 19 Oct 2021, 00:00 last edited by
Me: "Doctor... i keep hearing a buzzing sound!"
Dr: " don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around.."
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wrote on 19 Oct 2021, 00:05 last edited by
A drummer friend of mine and his wife just had twin girls.
They named them Anna.
Anna one, Anna two.......
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wrote on 20 Oct 2021, 01:03 last edited by
Q: What did the average Patriot player get on the Wonderlic test?
A: Drool.
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wrote on 22 Oct 2021, 21:53 last edited by
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.
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wrote on 22 Oct 2021, 21:55 last edited by George K
I'm not sure if I'm an asshole or just an introvert.
(Yeah, go ahead and embrace the wonderful power of and.)