So....

[jon-nyc]

I just finished writing a book on penguins.

But now that I think about it, it would have been much easier on paper.

[xenon]

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive… girls would find me very attractive.

[jon-nyc]

Lol

[xenon]

Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

[George K]

@xenon said in So....:

Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

Well, there's something I dare not post on FB....

[jon-nyc]

@xenon said in So....:

Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Larry]

So.... the guy who invented the Ferris wheel never met the guy who invented the merry go round.

They traveled in different circles....

[George K]

I bought a new truck. It'll run on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.

”Nelson,” the technician said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie? ”Willie” he continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the speakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles,” and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away so happy, and for the next few days every time I'd say, “Beethoven” I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles” I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Well, yesterday, this woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her. I yelled at her, “Crazy Bitch!”

The radio replied, “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?”

GOD, I love this truck!

[Catseye3]

Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

Because it's a little meteor.

[George K]

@catseye3 said in So....:

Because it's a little meteor.

Stealing that one for future use....

[jon-nyc]

I hate hotel bathrobes. So thick and fluffy I can barely close my suitcase.

[Larry]

I don't understand what's so great about Switzerland, although its flag is a big plus.

[Larry]

So... there was a kidnapping at the local high school today....

It's ok though, he finally woke up....

[Larry]

So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

[George K]

@larry said in So....:

So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

Until you're Finnish...

[Larry]

I've been thinking about taking up meditation....

It beats sitting around doing nothing,.....

[Larry]

@george-k said in So....:

@larry said in So....:

So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

Until you're Finnish...

Bahahaha

[Larry]

I was going to tell a time traveling joke but you guys didn't get it.

[Larry]

Me: "Doctor... i keep hearing a buzzing sound!"

Dr: " don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around.."

[Larry]

A drummer friend of mine and his wife just had twin girls.

They named them Anna.

Anna one, Anna two.......