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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

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  • J Online
    J Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 12 Oct 2021, 18:03 last edited by
    #364

    So I have a friend who drowned. A bunch of us got together and had a wreath made for the funeral, decorated to look like a life preserver.

    I think it’s what he would have wanted.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    C 1 Reply Last reply 12 Oct 2021, 18:18
    • J jon-nyc
      12 Oct 2021, 18:03

      So I have a friend who drowned. A bunch of us got together and had a wreath made for the funeral, decorated to look like a life preserver.

      I think it’s what he would have wanted.

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Catseye3
      wrote on 12 Oct 2021, 18:18 last edited by
      #365

      @jon-nyc ROFL!

      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Online
        J Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 11:05 last edited by
        #366

        I just finished writing a book on penguins.

        But now that I think about it, it would have been much easier on paper.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • X Offline
          X Offline
          xenon
          wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 18:01 last edited by
          #367

          If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive… girls would find me very attractive.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Online
            J Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 18:39 last edited by
            #368

            Lol

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • X Offline
              X Offline
              xenon
              wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 22:21 last edited by
              #369

              Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

              Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

              G J 2 Replies Last reply 15 Oct 2021, 22:38
              • X xenon
                15 Oct 2021, 22:21

                Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

                Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

                G Offline
                G Offline
                George K
                wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 22:38 last edited by
                #370

                @xenon said in So....:

                Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

                Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

                Well, there's something I dare not post on FB....

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • X xenon
                  15 Oct 2021, 22:21

                  Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

                  Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

                  J Online
                  J Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 22:39 last edited by
                  #371

                  @xenon said in So....:

                  Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

                  Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”

                  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on 16 Oct 2021, 19:38 last edited by
                    #372

                    So.... the guy who invented the Ferris wheel never met the guy who invented the merry go round.

                    They traveled in different circles....

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • G Offline
                      G Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on 17 Oct 2021, 11:23 last edited by George K
                      #373

                      I bought a new truck. It'll run on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.

                      ”Nelson,” the technician said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie? ”Willie” he continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the speakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles,” and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.

                      I drove away so happy, and for the next few days every time I'd say, “Beethoven” I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles” I'd get one of their awesome songs.

                      Well, yesterday, this woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her. I yelled at her, “Crazy Bitch!”

                      The radio replied, “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?”

                      GOD, I love this truck!

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • C Offline
                        C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on 17 Oct 2021, 23:09 last edited by
                        #374

                        Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

                        Because it's a little meteor.

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        G 1 Reply Last reply 17 Oct 2021, 23:20
                        • C Catseye3
                          17 Oct 2021, 23:09

                          Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

                          Because it's a little meteor.

                          G Offline
                          G Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on 17 Oct 2021, 23:20 last edited by
                          #375

                          @catseye3 said in So....:

                          Because it's a little meteor.

                          Stealing that one for future use....

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Online
                            J Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 20:04 last edited by
                            #376

                            I hate hotel bathrobes. So thick and fluffy I can barely close my suitcase.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:45 last edited by
                              #377

                              I don't understand what's so great about Switzerland, although its flag is a big plus.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:50 last edited by
                                #378

                                So... there was a kidnapping at the local high school today....

                                It's ok though, he finally woke up....

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:53 last edited by
                                  #379

                                  So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                                  G 1 Reply Last reply 18 Oct 2021, 23:54
                                  • L Larry
                                    18 Oct 2021, 23:53

                                    So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                                    G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:54 last edited by
                                    #380

                                    @larry said in So....:

                                    So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                                    Until you're Finnish...

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    L 1 Reply Last reply 18 Oct 2021, 23:57
                                    • L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:55 last edited by
                                      #381

                                      I've been thinking about taking up meditation....

                                      It beats sitting around doing nothing,.....

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • G George K
                                        18 Oct 2021, 23:54

                                        @larry said in So....:

                                        So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                                        Until you're Finnish...

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:57 last edited by
                                        #382

                                        @george-k said in So....:

                                        @larry said in So....:

                                        So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.

                                        Until you're Finnish...

                                        Bahahaha

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Larry
                                          wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:58 last edited by
                                          #383

                                          I was going to tell a time traveling joke but you guys didn't get it.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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