So....
-
I found my first grey pubic hair today.
Normally these things don’t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
-
So I have a friend who drowned. A bunch of us got together and had a wreath made for the funeral, decorated to look like a life preserver.
I think it’s what he would have wanted.
-
I just finished writing a book on penguins.
But now that I think about it, it would have been much easier on paper.
-
Lol
-
-
I bought a new truck. It'll run on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.
”Nelson,” the technician said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie? ”Willie” he continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the speakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles,” and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away so happy, and for the next few days every time I'd say, “Beethoven” I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles” I'd get one of their awesome songs.
Well, yesterday, this woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her. I yelled at her, “Crazy Bitch!”
The radio replied, “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?”
GOD, I love this truck!
-
I hate hotel bathrobes. So thick and fluffy I can barely close my suitcase.