So....
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wrote on 10 Oct 2021, 19:40 last edited by
I found my first grey pubic hair today.
Normally these things don’t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
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I found my first grey pubic hair today.
Normally these things don’t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
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wrote on 12 Oct 2021, 18:03 last edited by
So I have a friend who drowned. A bunch of us got together and had a wreath made for the funeral, decorated to look like a life preserver.
I think it’s what he would have wanted.
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So I have a friend who drowned. A bunch of us got together and had a wreath made for the funeral, decorated to look like a life preserver.
I think it’s what he would have wanted.
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wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 11:05 last edited by
I just finished writing a book on penguins.
But now that I think about it, it would have been much easier on paper.
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wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 18:01 last edited by
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive… girls would find me very attractive.
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wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 18:39 last edited by
Lol
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wrote on 15 Oct 2021, 22:21 last edited by
Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”
Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”
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Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”
Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”
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Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”
Interviewer: “I meant questions about the job.”
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wrote on 16 Oct 2021, 19:38 last edited by
So.... the guy who invented the Ferris wheel never met the guy who invented the merry go round.
They traveled in different circles....
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wrote on 17 Oct 2021, 11:23 last edited by George K
I bought a new truck. It'll run on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.
”Nelson,” the technician said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie? ”Willie” he continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the speakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles,” and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away so happy, and for the next few days every time I'd say, “Beethoven” I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles” I'd get one of their awesome songs.
Well, yesterday, this woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her. I yelled at her, “Crazy Bitch!”
The radio replied, “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?”
GOD, I love this truck!
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wrote on 17 Oct 2021, 23:09 last edited by
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 20:04 last edited by
I hate hotel bathrobes. So thick and fluffy I can barely close my suitcase.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:45 last edited by
I don't understand what's so great about Switzerland, although its flag is a big plus.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:50 last edited by
So... there was a kidnapping at the local high school today....
It's ok though, he finally woke up....
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:53 last edited by
So.... You might bevamerican before you go in the toilet, but once you get inside European.
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wrote on 18 Oct 2021, 23:55 last edited by
I've been thinking about taking up meditation....
It beats sitting around doing nothing,.....