So....
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This quarantine stay at home thing is apparently putting a real strain on many marriages.
But I'm happy to report that mine is going strong.. just this morning I woke up to find my wife holding a pillow tightly over my face... she was just trying to protect me from the virus..
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A priest, a imam, and a rabbit go into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit, “what’ll you have?”
The rabbit says, “I don’t know, I’m only here because of autocorrect”.
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A man goes into a bar with two Dobermans. He greets the bartender and orders a Scotch for himself and two martinis for the dogs. The barkeep, being a broadminded fellow, brings all three their drinks. They drink up, the man thanks the bartender, and they leave.
The following night the man returns, again accompanied by the Dobies. Again he orders a Scotch for himself and martinis for the dogs. Again they all drink up, the man thanks the bartender, and they leave.
This goes on for five nights. Orders, drinks, thanks, leaves.
The following evening the man comes in alone, carrying a white box. He says to the bartender, "I want you to know how much I appreciate your service. It isn't everywhere that my two friends are made to feel so welcome. This is for you." He hands the box to the bartender, who opens it to find a large lobster. "Oh, thank you!" he says. "We'll have him for dinner!"
The man says, "Oh, he's already eaten. Why don't you take him to a show?"
