So....
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I just heard something suspicious outside and caught some asshole siphoning gas into my car.
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 00:43 last edited by
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:18 last edited by
So... I feel like I'm 16 again...
Gas is cheap..
I can't get into a bar or drink..
And I'm grounded... -
wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:27 last edited by
So.. the Catholic church just released a new aftershave...
Eau My God.....
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:28 last edited by
So.. my grandfather was in the army until he ate all the rations...
He was shot for desserting ...
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:31 last edited by
Did you know that when you say the word "poop" your mouth moves the same way your butthole moves?
The same goes for "explosive diahrrea"....
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wrote on 9 May 2020, 14:45 last edited by
If after the lockdown you were given 2 options:
Fly with your wife to a dream destination or have a BBQ with the guys, what would you choose?
- Rare,
- Medium rare or
- Medium?
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wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:20 last edited by
So.. in this difficult time we should all endeavor to lend a helping hand to others when we can. Just today I helped my neighbor bury a large rug in the woods behind her house.
Her husband would have helped, but he's out of town.....
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wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:22 last edited by
My wife said she's leaving me because she's sick and tired of my "weird sexual fetishes"..
So I said "oh yeah? Well just slam the door on my pecker when you leave!!"
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wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:23 last edited by
I don't trust people who have fruit fetishes..
They usually come in pears....
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wrote on 15 May 2020, 01:53 last edited by
Since hockey has been canceled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver.
But don’t worry. He’ll resurface eventually.
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wrote on 15 May 2020, 15:38 last edited by
So.. the world's oldest man died today....
Why does this keep happening?.....
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wrote on 15 May 2020, 15:39 last edited by
I've figured out why so many old women have so many cats..
It's called many paws.....
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wrote on 18 May 2020, 11:59 last edited by
So...
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wrote on 19 May 2020, 01:06 last edited by
Last night my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a tiny little see through nightie.
Unfortunately, she was the one coming home....
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wrote on 19 May 2020, 01:16 last edited by
Knock knock.....
Who's there?
Grandpa.
Shit...... Stop the funeral!!
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wrote on 19 May 2020, 01:28 last edited by
So.. I booked a flight today and the girl said "window or aisle?"
I said "Window or you'll what?"
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wrote on 19 May 2020, 01:29 last edited by
So.. the feminist picnic was a total disaster...
None of them were willing to make sammiches...
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wrote on 19 May 2020, 01:33 last edited by
This quarantine stay at home thing is apparently putting a real strain on many marriages.
But I'm happy to report that mine is going strong.. just this morning I woke up to find my wife holding a pillow tightly over my face... she was just trying to protect me from the virus..
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wrote on 19 May 2020, 01:36 last edited by
You guys might know.... should the right testicle be bigger than the middle one?
Asking for a friend....
