So....

mark

@jon-nyc lol

Larry

Larry

So... I feel like I'm 16 again...

Gas is cheap..
I can't get into a bar or drink..
And I'm grounded...

Larry

So.. the Catholic church just released a new aftershave...

Eau My God.....

Larry

So.. my grandfather was in the army until he ate all the rations...

He was shot for desserting ...

Larry

Did you know that when you say the word "poop" your mouth moves the same way your butthole moves?

The same goes for "explosive diahrrea"....

jon-nyc

If after the lockdown you were given 2 options:

Fly with your wife to a dream destination or have a BBQ with the guys, what would you choose?

Rare,
Medium rare or
Medium?

Larry

So.. in this difficult time we should all endeavor to lend a helping hand to others when we can. Just today I helped my neighbor bury a large rug in the woods behind her house.

Her husband would have helped, but he's out of town.....

Larry

My wife said she's leaving me because she's sick and tired of my "weird sexual fetishes"..

So I said "oh yeah? Well just slam the door on my pecker when you leave!!"

Larry

I don't trust people who have fruit fetishes..

They usually come in pears....

jon-nyc

Since hockey has been canceled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver.

But don’t worry. He’ll resurface eventually.

Larry

So.. the world's oldest man died today....

Why does this keep happening?.....

Larry

I've figured out why so many old women have so many cats..

It's called many paws.....

Improviso

So...

Larry

Last night my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a tiny little see through nightie.

Unfortunately, she was the one coming home....

Larry

Knock knock.....

Who's there?

Grandpa.

Shit...... Stop the funeral!!

Larry

So.. I booked a flight today and the girl said "window or aisle?"

I said "Window or you'll what?"

Larry

So.. the feminist picnic was a total disaster...

None of them were willing to make sammiches...

Larry

This quarantine stay at home thing is apparently putting a real strain on many marriages.

But I'm happy to report that mine is going strong.. just this morning I woke up to find my wife holding a pillow tightly over my face... she was just trying to protect me from the virus..

Larry

You guys might know.... should the right testicle be bigger than the middle one?

Asking for a friend....

The New Coffee Room

So....