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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Larry
    wrote on 4 Dec 2020, 02:57 last edited by
    #205

    So.... the difference between me AndyD is that when I say "I blew a tranny" I'm having car trouble....

    1 Reply Last reply
    • L Offline
      L Offline
      Larry
      wrote on 4 Dec 2020, 02:59 last edited by
      #206

      My neighbor accidentally shot his wife through her nipple.

      Tore her kneecap plumb off....

      1 Reply Last reply
      • L Offline
        L Offline
        Larry
        wrote on 4 Dec 2020, 03:02 last edited by
        #207

        So.. I was in a bar last night when the bartender shouted "Anyone here know CPR?"
        I shouted "I do!! In fact, I know the whole alphabet!!"

        Everybody in the place laughed... except for this one guy.....

        1 Reply Last reply
        • L Offline
          L Offline
          Larry
          wrote on 4 Dec 2020, 03:08 last edited by
          #208

          So I told my wife about seeing a man get thrown under a bus today.

          She said "oh my! Was it moving?"

          I said "a few people cried, but I was ok.."

          1 Reply Last reply
          • L Offline
            L Offline
            Larry
            wrote on 4 Dec 2020, 03:11 last edited by
            #209

            So.. I won a million dollars in the lottery today.

            I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

            Now I have $999,999.75....

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Online
              J Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 13 Dec 2020, 04:46 last edited by
              #210

              People need to understand that "Baby, It's Cold Outside" was written in a different time even if the idea of being at someone else's house is shocking to us today.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • G Offline
                G Offline
                George K
                wrote on 13 Dec 2020, 15:16 last edited by
                #211

                I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.

                “Take the high road,” I thought to myself So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.

                The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with a kindness.

                When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.

                Now she has to go back to the end of the line start all over.

                Don't honk your horn at old people.

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Larry
                  wrote on 13 Dec 2020, 18:44 last edited by Larry
                  #212

                  My cousin quit his job at the erectile dysfunction clinic.

                  He said he hadn't had a raise in years...

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Online
                    J Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 14 Dec 2020, 16:55 last edited by
                    #213

                    Husband: My but you’re beautiful

                    Waitress: why thank you sir.

                    Wife: Why don’t you tell her about your erectile dysfunction, Jim?

                    Husband: Of course, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce my erectile dysfunction, her name is Margaret.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Online
                      J Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 15 Dec 2020, 18:47 last edited by
                      #214

                      Her: You never listen to me. You only hear what you want to hear.

                      Me: Sure, I’ll have a beer.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J Online
                        J Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 16 Dec 2020, 00:19 last edited by
                        #215

                        When I’m with my Spanish speaking friends I like to say “mucho”.

                        It means a lot to them.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Larry
                          wrote on 16 Dec 2020, 22:47 last edited by
                          #216

                          I used to have a masturbation addiction but I had to stop.

                          It was getting out of hand...

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • X Offline
                            X Offline
                            xenon
                            wrote on 16 Dec 2020, 22:56 last edited by
                            #217

                            I do my best thinking after sex...

                            I came to realize.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Online
                              J Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 18 Dec 2020, 22:33 last edited by
                              #218

                              I bought a new porn DVD today and all I could see was a dark image of a fat guy holding his dong.

                              Then I realized the TV wasn't on.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on 18 Dec 2020, 23:20 last edited by
                                #219

                                I went to a child psychologist.

                                He was 7 years old......

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Online
                                  J Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 11:47 last edited by jon-nyc
                                  #220

                                  The car salesman told me “this car will hold five people without any problems”.

                                  I said, “Where the hell am I going to find five people without any problems.”

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • J Online
                                    J Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 19:21 last edited by
                                    #221

                                    Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.

                                    But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    LuFins DadL 2 Replies Last reply 21 Dec 2020, 20:49
                                    • J jon-nyc
                                      21 Dec 2020, 19:21

                                      Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.

                                      But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.

                                      LuFins DadL Offline
                                      LuFins DadL Offline
                                      LuFins Dad
                                      wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 20:49 last edited by
                                      #222

                                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                      Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.

                                      But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.

                                      Nice... Saving that one for the right occasion...

                                      The Brad

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J jon-nyc
                                        21 Dec 2020, 19:21

                                        Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.

                                        But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.

                                        LuFins DadL Offline
                                        LuFins DadL Offline
                                        LuFins Dad
                                        wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 20:49 last edited by
                                        #223

                                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                        Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.

                                        But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.

                                        Stolen

                                        The Brad

                                        G brendaB 2 Replies Last reply 21 Dec 2020, 21:45
                                        • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad
                                          21 Dec 2020, 20:49

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.

                                          But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.

                                          Stolen

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 21:45 last edited by
                                          #224

                                          @lufins-dad said in So....:

                                          Stolen

                                          Again....

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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