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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • LarryL Offline
    LarryL Offline
    Larry
    wrote on last edited by
    #181

    I just released a new fragrance.

    .

    .
    .
    .
    .
    Nobody in the car liked it, though...

    1 Reply Last reply
    • LarryL Offline
      LarryL Offline
      Larry
      wrote on last edited by
      #182

      alt text

      I named my new car Elizabeth Warren.

      It's white, but it says it's a Cherokee....

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #183

        Lol

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #184

          “Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

            “Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.

            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins Dad
            wrote on last edited by
            #185

            @jon-nyc said in So....:

            “Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.

            Belly laugh!

            The Brad

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #186

              In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              L 1 Reply Last reply
              • LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #187

                Due to covid, only 6 people can gather for thanksgiving dinner. But 30 people can come to a funeral.

                So..... services will be held for our pet Turkey Butterball who will pass away november 24th, the services will be held on thanksgiving day.

                Refreshments will be provided.

                In lieu of flowers we asked that you bring a side dish...

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                  In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Loki
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #188

                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                  In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

                  In the vein we used to say during scramble hour “if your standards are to high, lower them.”

                  George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                  • L Loki

                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                    In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

                    In the vein we used to say during scramble hour “if your standards are to high, lower them.”

                    George KG Offline
                    George KG Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #189

                    @Loki said in So....:

                    “if your standards are to high, lower them.”

                    Related:

                    alt text

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #190

                      I had 7 women ask me out today.

                      I should accidentally walk into the women’s room more often.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #191

                        Me: Be kind, you never know what other people are going through.

                        Also me: Nice turn signal, fuck face.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • X Offline
                          X Offline
                          xenon
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #192

                          My Korean friend died today...

                          Soh Yung...

                          It’s tough to lose a Seoul mate...

                          LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Offline
                            LarryL Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #193

                            So today my wife said "every morning before he leaves the house for work, our neighbor makes love to his wife. Why can't you do that?"

                            I said "well, if you insist.. But I don't really know the woman all that much....."

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • LarryL Offline
                              LarryL Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #194

                              Due to Covid the 7 Dwarfs have been told that they cannot get together as a group this Christmas.

                              One of them is not Happy.....

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • LarryL Offline
                                LarryL Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #195

                                So the interviewer says...
                                "Sir, can you perform under pressure?"

                                I said "No, but I can do a good Bohemian Rhapsody ....."

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG Offline
                                  George KG Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #196

                                  A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

                                  "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

                                  "We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”

                                  “United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”

                                  "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Taste.”

                                  "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.”

                                  "We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

                                  "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.”

                                  A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

                                  "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and we had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot..

                                  And the Taste hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!”

                                  "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.”

                                  "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.

                                  Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”

                                  "Oh, really! What'd he say?”

                                  He said: "Who fucked up your hair

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #197

                                    We just found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.

                                    No one is taking it harder than my grandmother.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #198

                                      "What did the horse say to the other horse when he fell down?"

                                      "I don't know. What?"

                                      "Help. I've fallen and I can't giddy-up."

                                      0143fed9-1b72-43ec-8eb0-f358b3f784e4-image.png

                                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • X xenon

                                        My Korean friend died today...

                                        Soh Yung...

                                        It’s tough to lose a Seoul mate...

                                        LarryL Offline
                                        LarryL Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #199

                                        @xenon said in So....:

                                        My Korean friend died today...

                                        Soh Yung...

                                        It’s tough to lose a Seoul mate...

                                        Did you hear about the Chinese couple who gave birth to a black baby?

                                        They named it Sum Ting Wong...

                                        X 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • LarryL Larry

                                          @xenon said in So....:

                                          My Korean friend died today...

                                          Soh Yung...

                                          It’s tough to lose a Seoul mate...

                                          Did you hear about the Chinese couple who gave birth to a black baby?

                                          They named it Sum Ting Wong...

                                          X Offline
                                          X Offline
                                          xenon
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #200

                                          @Larry said in So....:

                                          @xenon said in So....:

                                          My Korean friend died today...

                                          Soh Yung...

                                          It’s tough to lose a Seoul mate...

                                          Did you hear about the Chinese couple who gave birth to a black baby?

                                          They named it Sum Ting Wong...

                                          Ho Lee Fuk

                                          LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
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