The New Coffee Room

Your browser does not seem to support JavaScript. As a result, your viewing experience will be diminished, and you have been placed in read-only mode.

Please download a browser that supports JavaScript, or enable it if it's disabled (i.e. NoScript).

So....

General Discussion

1.0k Posts 26 Posters 85.4k Views

M Offline
M Offline
Mik

wrote on last edited by

#176

55555
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill
1 Reply Last reply
X Offline
X Offline
xenon

wrote on last edited by

#177

Apparently my family is racist.

I introduced them to my black girlfriend and they all started yelling at us. Especially my wife.
1 Reply Last reply
J Offline
J Offline
jon-nyc

wrote on last edited by

#178

Three cops kicked in my door with guns drawn and yelled "Come out with your hands up!"

So I threw my arms in the air and yelled "I'M GAY!".
Only non-witches get due process.

Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
1 Reply Last reply
J Offline
J Offline
jon-nyc

wrote on last edited by jon-nyc

#179

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your date of birth online and you have to spin the birth year thingy like it’s the fucking wheel of fortune.
Only non-witches get due process.

Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
1 Reply Last reply
L Offline
L Offline
Larry

wrote on last edited by

#180

I saw a flying saucer last night.

It appeared right after the coffee cup my wife threw at me....
1 Reply Last reply
L Offline
L Offline
Larry

wrote on last edited by

#181

I just released a new fragrance.

.

.
.
.
.
Nobody in the car liked it, though...
1 Reply Last reply
L Offline
L Offline
Larry

wrote on last edited by

#182

I named my new car Elizabeth Warren.

It's white, but it says it's a Cherokee....
1 Reply Last reply
J Offline
J Offline
jon-nyc

wrote on last edited by

#183

Lol
Only non-witches get due process.

Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
1 Reply Last reply
J Offline
J Offline
jon-nyc

wrote on last edited by

#184

“Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.
Only non-witches get due process.

Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
L 1 Reply Last reply
J jon-nyc

“Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.
L Offline
L Offline
LuFins Dad

wrote on last edited by

#185

@jon-nyc said in So....:

“Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.

Belly laugh!
The Brad
1 Reply Last reply
J Offline
J Offline
jon-nyc

wrote on last edited by

#186

In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.
Only non-witches get due process.

Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
L 1 Reply Last reply
L Offline
L Offline
Larry

wrote on last edited by

#187

Due to covid, only 6 people can gather for thanksgiving dinner. But 30 people can come to a funeral.

So..... services will be held for our pet Turkey Butterball who will pass away november 24th, the services will be held on thanksgiving day.

Refreshments will be provided.

In lieu of flowers we asked that you bring a side dish...
1 Reply Last reply
J jon-nyc

In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.
L Offline
L Offline
Loki

wrote on last edited by

#188

@jon-nyc said in So....:

In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

In the vein we used to say during scramble hour “if your standards are to high, lower them.”
G 1 Reply Last reply
L Loki

@jon-nyc said in So....:

In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

In the vein we used to say during scramble hour “if your standards are to high, lower them.”
G Offline
G Offline
George K

wrote on last edited by

#189

@Loki said in So....:

“if your standards are to high, lower them.”

Related:
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.
1 Reply Last reply
J Offline
J Offline
jon-nyc

wrote on last edited by

#190

I had 7 women ask me out today.

I should accidentally walk into the women’s room more often.
Only non-witches get due process.

Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
1 Reply Last reply
J Offline
J Offline
jon-nyc

wrote on last edited by

#191

Me: Be kind, you never know what other people are going through.

Also me: Nice turn signal, fuck face.
Only non-witches get due process.

Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
1 Reply Last reply
X Offline
X Offline
xenon

wrote on last edited by

#192

My Korean friend died today...

Soh Yung...

It’s tough to lose a Seoul mate...
L 1 Reply Last reply
L Offline
L Offline
Larry

wrote on last edited by

#193

So today my wife said "every morning before he leaves the house for work, our neighbor makes love to his wife. Why can't you do that?"

I said "well, if you insist.. But I don't really know the woman all that much....."
1 Reply Last reply
L Offline
L Offline
Larry

wrote on last edited by

#194

Due to Covid the 7 Dwarfs have been told that they cannot get together as a group this Christmas.

One of them is not Happy.....
1 Reply Last reply
L Offline
L Offline
Larry

wrote on last edited by

#195

So the interviewer says...
"Sir, can you perform under pressure?"

I said "No, but I can do a good Bohemian Rhapsody ....."
1 Reply Last reply

Log in to reply

1
2
8
9
10
11
12
50
51