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Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...
...but that's comparing apples to oranges.
@xenon said in So....:
Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump... ...but that's comparing apples to oranges.
That's so bad it's good! LOL
I just heard something suspicious outside and caught some asshole siphoning gas into my car.
@jon-nyc lol
So... I feel like I'm 16 again...
Gas is cheap.. I can't get into a bar or drink.. And I'm grounded...
So.. the Catholic church just released a new aftershave...
Eau My God.....
So.. my grandfather was in the army until he ate all the rations...
He was shot for desserting ...
Did you know that when you say the word "poop" your mouth moves the same way your butthole moves?
The same goes for "explosive diahrrea"....
If after the lockdown you were given 2 options:
Fly with your wife to a dream destination or have a BBQ with the guys, what would you choose?
So.. in this difficult time we should all endeavor to lend a helping hand to others when we can. Just today I helped my neighbor bury a large rug in the woods behind her house.
Her husband would have helped, but he's out of town.....
My wife said she's leaving me because she's sick and tired of my "weird sexual fetishes"..
So I said "oh yeah? Well just slam the door on my pecker when you leave!!"
I don't trust people who have fruit fetishes..
They usually come in pears....
Since hockey has been canceled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver.
But don’t worry. He’ll resurface eventually.
So.. the world's oldest man died today....
Why does this keep happening?.....
I've figured out why so many old women have so many cats..
It's called many paws.....
So...
Last night my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a tiny little see through nightie.
Unfortunately, she was the one coming home....
Knock knock.....
Who's there?
Grandpa.
Shit...... Stop the funeral!!
So.. I booked a flight today and the girl said "window or aisle?"
I said "Window or you'll what?"
So.. the feminist picnic was a total disaster...
None of them were willing to make sammiches...
