Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse

The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 85.4k Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #178

    Three cops kicked in my door with guns drawn and yelled "Come out with your hands up!"

    So I threw my arms in the air and yelled "I'M GAY!".

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
      #179

      You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your date of birth online and you have to spin the birth year thingy like it’s the fucking wheel of fortune.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • LarryL Offline
        LarryL Offline
        Larry
        wrote on last edited by
        #180

        I saw a flying saucer last night.

        It appeared right after the coffee cup my wife threw at me....

        1 Reply Last reply
        • LarryL Offline
          LarryL Offline
          Larry
          wrote on last edited by
          #181

          I just released a new fragrance.

          .

          .
          .
          .
          .
          Nobody in the car liked it, though...

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LarryL Offline
            LarryL Offline
            Larry
            wrote on last edited by
            #182

            alt text

            I named my new car Elizabeth Warren.

            It's white, but it says it's a Cherokee....

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #183

              Lol

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #184

                “Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                  “Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.

                  LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins Dad
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #185

                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                  “Fuck off” spelled backwards is just “fuck off” in an Irish accent.

                  Belly laugh!

                  The Brad

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #186

                    In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                    • LarryL Offline
                      LarryL Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #187

                      Due to covid, only 6 people can gather for thanksgiving dinner. But 30 people can come to a funeral.

                      So..... services will be held for our pet Turkey Butterball who will pass away november 24th, the services will be held on thanksgiving day.

                      Refreshments will be provided.

                      In lieu of flowers we asked that you bring a side dish...

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                        In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Loki
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #188

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

                        In the vein we used to say during scramble hour “if your standards are to high, lower them.”

                        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                        • L Loki

                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                          In my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’.

                          In the vein we used to say during scramble hour “if your standards are to high, lower them.”

                          George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #189

                          @Loki said in So....:

                          “if your standards are to high, lower them.”

                          Related:

                          alt text

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #190

                            I had 7 women ask me out today.

                            I should accidentally walk into the women’s room more often.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #191

                              Me: Be kind, you never know what other people are going through.

                              Also me: Nice turn signal, fuck face.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • X Online
                                X Online
                                xenon
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #192

                                My Korean friend died today...

                                Soh Yung...

                                It’s tough to lose a Seoul mate...

                                LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #193

                                  So today my wife said "every morning before he leaves the house for work, our neighbor makes love to his wife. Why can't you do that?"

                                  I said "well, if you insist.. But I don't really know the woman all that much....."

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • LarryL Offline
                                    LarryL Offline
                                    Larry
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #194

                                    Due to Covid the 7 Dwarfs have been told that they cannot get together as a group this Christmas.

                                    One of them is not Happy.....

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #195

                                      So the interviewer says...
                                      "Sir, can you perform under pressure?"

                                      I said "No, but I can do a good Bohemian Rhapsody ....."

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #196

                                        A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

                                        "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

                                        "We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”

                                        “United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”

                                        "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Taste.”

                                        "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.”

                                        "We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

                                        "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.”

                                        A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

                                        "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and we had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot..

                                        And the Taste hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!”

                                        "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.”

                                        "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.

                                        Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”

                                        "Oh, really! What'd he say?”

                                        He said: "Who fucked up your hair

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #197

                                          We just found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.

                                          No one is taking it harder than my grandmother.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups