So....

[Larry]

The doctor says "You know... the thing...."

[Larry]

Two cheese trucks run into each other.

De brie was everywhere...

[jon-nyc]

Magic Johnson wasted the worlds best porn name on a basketball career.

[Larry]

I've had a really strange day today..

First, I found a hat full of money.

Then I got chased by some guy with a guitar..

[jon-nyc]

They laughed at my pencil drawings.

So I laughed at their chalk outlines...

[jon-nyc]

“That’s what.”
-she

[jon-nyc]

I googled "who gives a shit".

My name wasn't in the search results.

[jon-nyc]

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.

She said: “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 190 pounds, is soft-spoken and is good to the children.”

The next-door neighbor protested: “Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth and is mean to your children.”
The wife replied: “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

[Larry]

So...my doctor says I have Irish constipation...

I can't pass a bar..

[Larry]

My wife said "I don't like your constipation jokes"..

I told her I didn't give a shit..

[Larry]

So.. I went to a feminist rally the other day.

Came back with my shirt ironed, carrying a sammich.

[Larry]

Stress is when you have a house payment, a boat payment, a wife, and a girlfriend...... and all 4 of them are late....

[Larry]

"I went to a petting zoo the other day."

That was an elementary school, Joe...."

[Larry]

"Momma always said, 'life is like a box of... you know... the thing......' "

Forrest Biden

[jon-nyc]

I just watched Jaws backwards.

It’s a heartwarming story about a shark who gives limbs to the disabled.

[Larry]

So.... I'm going to open a flower shop. I'm going to call it....

Florist Gump...

[Larry]

Then a bakery...

Bread Pitt

[Larry]

No, you haven't gained that much weight during quarantine. Come on - chin up!

..... No, the other one....

[George K]

@Larry said in So....:

Then a bakery...

Bread Pitt

[Larry]