So....
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wrote on 2 Sept 2020, 16:32 last edited by
The doctor says "You know... the thing...."
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wrote on 2 Sept 2020, 16:33 last edited by
Two cheese trucks run into each other.
De brie was everywhere...
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wrote on 4 Sept 2020, 14:44 last edited by
Magic Johnson wasted the worlds best porn name on a basketball career.
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wrote on 4 Sept 2020, 15:27 last edited by
I've had a really strange day today..
First, I found a hat full of money.
Then I got chased by some guy with a guitar..
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wrote on 5 Sept 2020, 10:55 last edited by
They laughed at my pencil drawings.
So I laughed at their chalk outlines...
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wrote on 7 Sept 2020, 11:09 last edited by jon-nyc 9 Jul 2020, 11:09
“That’s what.”
-she -
wrote on 8 Sept 2020, 19:33 last edited by
I googled "who gives a shit".
My name wasn't in the search results.
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wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 15:36 last edited by
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.
She said: “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 190 pounds, is soft-spoken and is good to the children.”
The next-door neighbor protested: “Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth and is mean to your children.”
The wife replied: “Yes, but who wants HIM back?” -
wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:05 last edited by
So...my doctor says I have Irish constipation...
I can't pass a bar..
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wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:06 last edited by
My wife said "I don't like your constipation jokes"..
I told her I didn't give a shit..
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wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:09 last edited by
So.. I went to a feminist rally the other day.
Came back with my shirt ironed, carrying a sammich.
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wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:20 last edited by
Stress is when you have a house payment, a boat payment, a wife, and a girlfriend...... and all 4 of them are late....
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wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 19:02 last edited by
"I went to a petting zoo the other day."
That was an elementary school, Joe...."
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wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 19:05 last edited by
"Momma always said, 'life is like a box of... you know... the thing......' "
Forrest Biden
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wrote on 14 Sept 2020, 16:12 last edited by
I just watched Jaws backwards.
It’s a heartwarming story about a shark who gives limbs to the disabled.
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wrote on 15 Sept 2020, 20:35 last edited by
So.... I'm going to open a flower shop. I'm going to call it....
Florist Gump...
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wrote on 15 Sept 2020, 20:35 last edited by
Then a bakery...
Bread Pitt
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wrote on 16 Sept 2020, 20:01 last edited by
No, you haven't gained that much weight during quarantine. Come on - chin up!
..... No, the other one....
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wrote on 16 Sept 2020, 20:17 last edited by
