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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Larry
    wrote on 2 Sept 2020, 16:31 last edited by
    #111

    So..,

    Joe Biden goes to the doctor and says "I seem to be losing my memory."

    The doctor says "How long has this been going on?"

    Biden says "How long has what been going on?"

    1 Reply Last reply
    • L Offline
      L Offline
      Larry
      wrote on 2 Sept 2020, 16:32 last edited by
      #112

      The doctor says "You know... the thing...."

      1 Reply Last reply
      • L Offline
        L Offline
        Larry
        wrote on 2 Sept 2020, 16:33 last edited by
        #113

        Two cheese trucks run into each other.

        De brie was everywhere...

        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Offline
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          jon-nyc
          wrote on 4 Sept 2020, 14:44 last edited by
          #114

          Magic Johnson wasted the worlds best porn name on a basketball career.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • L Offline
            L Offline
            Larry
            wrote on 4 Sept 2020, 15:27 last edited by
            #115

            I've had a really strange day today..

            First, I found a hat full of money.

            Then I got chased by some guy with a guitar..

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Offline
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              jon-nyc
              wrote on 5 Sept 2020, 10:55 last edited by
              #116

              They laughed at my pencil drawings.

              So I laughed at their chalk outlines...

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Offline
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                jon-nyc
                wrote on 7 Sept 2020, 11:09 last edited by jon-nyc 9 Jul 2020, 11:09
                #117

                “That’s what.”
                -she

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Offline
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                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 8 Sept 2020, 19:33 last edited by
                  #118

                  I googled "who gives a shit".

                  My name wasn't in the search results.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 15:36 last edited by
                    #119

                    A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.

                    She said: “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 190 pounds, is soft-spoken and is good to the children.”

                    The next-door neighbor protested: “Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth and is mean to your children.”
                    The wife replied: “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:05 last edited by
                      #120

                      So...my doctor says I have Irish constipation...

                      I can't pass a bar..

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Larry
                        wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:06 last edited by
                        #121

                        My wife said "I don't like your constipation jokes"..

                        I told her I didn't give a shit..

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • L Offline
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                          Larry
                          wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:09 last edited by
                          #122

                          So.. I went to a feminist rally the other day.

                          Came back with my shirt ironed, carrying a sammich.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • L Offline
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                            Larry
                            wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 18:20 last edited by
                            #123

                            Stress is when you have a house payment, a boat payment, a wife, and a girlfriend...... and all 4 of them are late....

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 19:02 last edited by
                              #124

                              "I went to a petting zoo the other day."

                              That was an elementary school, Joe...."

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on 10 Sept 2020, 19:05 last edited by
                                #125

                                "Momma always said, 'life is like a box of... you know... the thing......' "

                                Forrest Biden

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Offline
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                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 14 Sept 2020, 16:12 last edited by
                                  #126

                                  I just watched Jaws backwards.

                                  It’s a heartwarming story about a shark who gives limbs to the disabled.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Larry
                                    wrote on 15 Sept 2020, 20:35 last edited by
                                    #127

                                    So.... I'm going to open a flower shop. I'm going to call it....

                                    Florist Gump...

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • L Offline
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                                      Larry
                                      wrote on 15 Sept 2020, 20:35 last edited by
                                      #128

                                      Then a bakery...

                                      Bread Pitt

                                      G 1 Reply Last reply 16 Sept 2020, 20:11
                                      • L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on 16 Sept 2020, 20:01 last edited by
                                        #129

                                        No, you haven't gained that much weight during quarantine. Come on - chin up!

                                        ..... No, the other one....

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • L Larry
                                          15 Sept 2020, 20:35

                                          Then a bakery...

                                          Bread Pitt

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 16 Sept 2020, 20:11 last edited by
                                          #130

                                          @Larry said in So....:

                                          Then a bakery...

                                          Bread Pitt

                                          alt text

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

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