So....
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wrote on 5 Apr 2020, 01:49 last edited by
I wanted to start a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.
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wrote on 5 Apr 2020, 02:20 last edited by
What do you call a mean potato?
A dictator.
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wrote on 5 Apr 2020, 02:57 last edited by
Teacher: "Leroy, please make a sentence using the word 'dictate ".
Leroy: "I took Quahita on a date and afterwards I said 'Quahita, how my dictate?' "
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wrote on 8 Apr 2020, 12:08 last edited by
So, if Hooters starts delivering food, will it have to change its name to Knockers?
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wrote on 8 Apr 2020, 12:12 last edited by
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wrote on 8 Apr 2020, 12:20 last edited by
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wrote on 16 Apr 2020, 21:07 last edited by xenon
Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...
...but that's comparing apples to oranges.
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Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...
...but that's comparing apples to oranges.
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Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...
...but that's comparing apples to oranges.
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wrote on 21 Apr 2020, 21:26 last edited by
I just heard something suspicious outside and caught some asshole siphoning gas into my car.
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I just heard something suspicious outside and caught some asshole siphoning gas into my car.
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 00:43 last edited by
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:18 last edited by
So... I feel like I'm 16 again...
Gas is cheap..
I can't get into a bar or drink..
And I'm grounded... -
wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:27 last edited by
So.. the Catholic church just released a new aftershave...
Eau My God.....
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:28 last edited by
So.. my grandfather was in the army until he ate all the rations...
He was shot for desserting ...
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wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:31 last edited by
Did you know that when you say the word "poop" your mouth moves the same way your butthole moves?
The same goes for "explosive diahrrea"....
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wrote on 9 May 2020, 14:45 last edited by
If after the lockdown you were given 2 options:
Fly with your wife to a dream destination or have a BBQ with the guys, what would you choose?
- Rare,
- Medium rare or
- Medium?
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wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:20 last edited by
So.. in this difficult time we should all endeavor to lend a helping hand to others when we can. Just today I helped my neighbor bury a large rug in the woods behind her house.
Her husband would have helped, but he's out of town.....
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wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:22 last edited by
My wife said she's leaving me because she's sick and tired of my "weird sexual fetishes"..
So I said "oh yeah? Well just slam the door on my pecker when you leave!!"
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wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:23 last edited by
I don't trust people who have fruit fetishes..
They usually come in pears....
