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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 85.6k Views
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  • LarryL Offline
    LarryL Offline
    Larry
    wrote on last edited by Larry
    #110

    Little Johnny walked into the bathroom just as his grandma was getting out of the shower. He pointed and said "Grandma, what's that?" His grandma says "Little Johnny, that's my beaver."

    The next day little Johnny walked into the bathroom just as his mother was getting out of the shower. He points and says "Mommy, that's your beaver!"

    His mother says "That's correct Johnny. How did you know?"

    Little Johnny says "Because grandma has one too!...... But I think here's is dead, because its tongue is hanging out...."

    1 Reply Last reply
    • LarryL Offline
      LarryL Offline
      Larry
      wrote on last edited by
      #111

      So..,

      Joe Biden goes to the doctor and says "I seem to be losing my memory."

      The doctor says "How long has this been going on?"

      Biden says "How long has what been going on?"

      1 Reply Last reply
      • LarryL Offline
        LarryL Offline
        Larry
        wrote on last edited by
        #112

        The doctor says "You know... the thing...."

        1 Reply Last reply
        • LarryL Offline
          LarryL Offline
          Larry
          wrote on last edited by
          #113

          Two cheese trucks run into each other.

          De brie was everywhere...

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #114

            Magic Johnson wasted the worlds best porn name on a basketball career.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • LarryL Offline
              LarryL Offline
              Larry
              wrote on last edited by
              #115

              I've had a really strange day today..

              First, I found a hat full of money.

              Then I got chased by some guy with a guitar..

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #116

                They laughed at my pencil drawings.

                So I laughed at their chalk outlines...

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                  #117

                  “That’s what.”
                  -she

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #118

                    I googled "who gives a shit".

                    My name wasn't in the search results.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #119

                      A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.

                      She said: “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 190 pounds, is soft-spoken and is good to the children.”

                      The next-door neighbor protested: “Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth and is mean to your children.”
                      The wife replied: “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • LarryL Offline
                        LarryL Offline
                        Larry
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #120

                        So...my doctor says I have Irish constipation...

                        I can't pass a bar..

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • LarryL Offline
                          LarryL Offline
                          Larry
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #121

                          My wife said "I don't like your constipation jokes"..

                          I told her I didn't give a shit..

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Offline
                            LarryL Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #122

                            So.. I went to a feminist rally the other day.

                            Came back with my shirt ironed, carrying a sammich.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • LarryL Offline
                              LarryL Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #123

                              Stress is when you have a house payment, a boat payment, a wife, and a girlfriend...... and all 4 of them are late....

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • LarryL Offline
                                LarryL Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #124

                                "I went to a petting zoo the other day."

                                That was an elementary school, Joe...."

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #125

                                  "Momma always said, 'life is like a box of... you know... the thing......' "

                                  Forrest Biden

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #126

                                    I just watched Jaws backwards.

                                    It’s a heartwarming story about a shark who gives limbs to the disabled.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #127

                                      So.... I'm going to open a flower shop. I'm going to call it....

                                      Florist Gump...

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • LarryL Offline
                                        LarryL Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #128

                                        Then a bakery...

                                        Bread Pitt

                                        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • LarryL Offline
                                          LarryL Offline
                                          Larry
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #129

                                          No, you haven't gained that much weight during quarantine. Come on - chin up!

                                          ..... No, the other one....

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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