For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President

[Larry]

@taiwan_girl said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

Larry, I believe that you have multiple businesses. How do you determine if they are doing well? Just gut feel, or do you look at profit/loss, sales figures, etc?

There's an old saying... "accountants are people who, after the battle has been fought, rush out to bayonet the wounded."

If you talk to my accountant, he will tell you that it is because of his number crunching that my businesses make money. He knows every penny, and can turn out reams of data. The one thing he has no fucking clue about is how to actually earn the dollars he's counting.

So you count, I'll earn .

[Axtremus]

Trump says he makes lots of money.
Trump's tax return data say, over time, he has not make enough money to even be legally required to pay any income tax for many years.

Tax returns information is data, which can be summarized into statistics.
Trump's utterances is also data, which can also be summarize into statics -- for example: 20,000 lies between inauguration and July 9, 2020.

[Larry]

There are two columns- income, and expenses.

Guess which column number crunchers are placed in.....

[Larry]

Good thing there's not an idiot column Ax, for you'd be in it.

[xenon]

@Larry said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

@taiwan_girl said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

Larry, I believe that you have multiple businesses. How do you determine if they are doing well? Just gut feel, or do you look at profit/loss, sales figures, etc?

There's an old saying... "accountants are people who, after the battle has been fought, rush out to bayonet the wounded."

If you talk to my accountant, he will tell you that it is because of his number crunching that my businesses make money. He knows every penny, and can turn out reams of data. The one thing he has no fucking clue about is how to actually earn the dollars he's counting.

So you count, I'll earn .

Your accountant thinks your business is successful because of him? Sounds like a pretty bad accountant.

[Axtremus]

@xenon said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

Your accountant thinks your business is successful because of him?

Maybe the accountant thinks he's a "consultant" trapped in an "accountant"'s position?

[Doctor Phibes]

I have to work with a large variety of companies, ranging from large multinationals to guys basically working out of their basement.

The absolute hardest to convince that they're wrong in the face of vast amounts of supporting data are small business owners. The instant I get a call from somebody who describes themselves as 'President and Founder' a massive alarm goes off and I try to sneakily assign the work to another manager.

This isn't statistical, I've never analyzed the issue, but it's sure as heck reality

Incidentally, the second hardest type is anybody with a PhD.

[Axtremus]

@Larry said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

Good thing there's not an idiot column ...

That just goes to show you understand neither idiots nor accounting. The “idiot column” is completely unnecessary as the Generally Accepted Accounting Principles would classify the idiots according to whether they are income generating assets (e.g., “useful idiots”) or merely expense incurring liabilities (mere “idiots”) and place them into existing columns.

[Larry]

@xenon said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

@Larry said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

@taiwan_girl said in For Horace - stock market will go up regardless of who wins President:

Larry, I believe that you have multiple businesses. How do you determine if they are doing well? Just gut feel, or do you look at profit/loss, sales figures, etc?

There's an old saying... "accountants are people who, after the battle has been fought, rush out to bayonet the wounded."

If you talk to my accountant, he will tell you that it is because of his number crunching that my businesses make money. He knows every penny, and can turn out reams of data. The one thing he has no fucking clue about is how to actually earn the dollars he's counting.

So you count, I'll earn .

Your accountant thinks your business is successful because of him? Sounds like a pretty bad accountant.

No, that's fairly typical of an accountant. Just look how hard the number crunchers here are trying to argue the same thing.....

Two men in a hot air balloon get lost, and begin following a river. After a while they spot a man fishing from the bank of the river. One of the men in the hot air balloon yells down to the man who's fishing.. "where are we?" The man fishing yells back... "you're up there!"

They float on for a couple of minutes, then one guy in the hot air balloon says "I hope that accountant catches lots of fish." The other guy says "how to you know he's an accountant?" The first guy says "By the information he gave us. It was 100% correct, and 100% useless."

[Doctor Phibes]

To which the accountant replies - "you don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going, and you're drifting along using nothing but hot air. And somehow this is now my fault!"

"You must be a ......"

[Horace]

Republican, right.

[Doctor Phibes]

I would have said 'marketing executive', but a number of options work.