What's the biggest load of bollocks your boss has told you?
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The truth has to be out there somewhere. OK, here's mine.
My manager once told me that it was good that I was only at the mid-point of my salary band after over 10 years in the position, as it meant that my future pay raises could be higher
@Doctor-Phibes said in What's the biggest load of bollocks your boss has told you?:
The truth has to be out there somewhere. OK, here's mine.
My manager once told me that it was good that I was only at the mid-point of my salary band after over 10 years in the position, as it meant that my future pay raises could be higher
How generous! Many years ago I was on a smaller contract and the employer asked (with a straight face) if I wanted raises each year or a higher flat rate without getting raises each year. I told him I don't need the annual morale boost of a raise, just maximize the pay from the start.
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“From [deleted]’s Board of Directors and very top level of its corporate management team, we want all [deleted]’s valued employees and partners to know that [deleted] is totally committed to the principle of team building throughout its corporate organization in fulfillment of its mission to ensure the highest level of quality product manufacture and service and serve as a beacon of excellence in the community”
I rarely if ever, saw senior corporate management commit to any of that statement other than jamming it down everyone else’s throats through endless and time consuming team building meetings at the expense of employees actually doing the jobs for which they were hired.
During my 17 years of government work the one that really stands out in my mind was when the Assistant Deputy Minister was briefing all the geographical trade directors in his division on an new and very dubious and resource wasteful boondoggle initiative on which we were to fix our full attention and efforts for the next six weeks. Some of us (myself among the group) raised concerns as to industry support and effectiveness, to which the ADM replied:
”Well the Minister thinks this is a great idea and opportunity to promote trade and investment and so do I….so let’s just work on getting the private sector and ethnic communities on board to make it work”
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Another classic was 'your big problem is you're too nice as a manager, which is a problem I've also suffered from'.
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Dunno if silence is better or worse... you judge:
Over a few months following Christmas holidays, our Pest Control chaps failed to turn up. Maybe it was April before a familiar face attended, but wearing a new uniform.
Questioned, he explained that on the 23rd December nobody in the old firm had been paid. Colleagues had been mystified, concerned, angry. Phones dead, nada online. Silence.
Turned out the owner had vanished, having over the previous few months borrowed, used rental vans etc and then folded the business on the 22nd December, paying nobody their month's salary just before Christmas.
Our familiar face was one of 4 people taken on by a rival firm that now had our maintenence contract.
I vividly recall his final words on the matter, spat out with venom
"And if we ever find the xxxer we'll beat the xxx out of him."So it's probably better to be talking, even if you're on the receiving end of modern management bollockspeak.
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The truth has to be out there somewhere. OK, here's mine.
My manager once told me that it was good that I was only at the mid-point of my salary band after over 10 years in the position, as it meant that my future pay raises could be higher
@Doctor-Phibes said in What's the biggest load of bollocks your boss has told you?:
The truth has to be out there somewhere. OK, here's mine.
My manager once told me that it was good that I was only at the mid-point of my salary band after over 10 years in the position, as it meant that my future pay raises could be higher
Perhaps he'd been stuck at the top of his pay-scale for a few frustrating years. Quite feasible given the lack of management communication skills demonstrated
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Three fucking years of developing a new corporate culture...millions of dollars spent in hours and consultants, after which the CIO pretty much told us through actions "You guys go live the culture and I'll do what I've always done", when that was the problem to begin with. It was difficult because as an IT Director I spent a lot of car time with him and could not get him to understand.
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When I was someone else's employee, it was at a time in a growing industry. Rising tide lifts all boats, not much bollocks is contemplated and people generally did OK with hope for a better future.
By the time I encounter shrinking/declining industry, I have no "boss" to tell me bollocks.
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We’ve all been there:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/829240602725169?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v
