Interpreting Your Wife’s Texts

[LuFins Dad]

Text: "OK so don't be mad"

Translation: I just adopted 17 more kittens.

Text: "Hiii"

Translation: I'm lonely so please quit your job and be with me and talk with me forever.

Text: "Can u pick up some bread?"

Translation: Can u pick up some bread and a list of as-yet-undetermined things I will text you after you wait in line and have just checked out.

Text: "Just wondering when you'll be home"

Translation: I had a huge, massive emotional breakdown today and I need you home right now.

Text: "It's fine."

Translation: Everything is fine. Obviously.

Text: "U there?"

Translation: I know you're there, you have five seconds to reply.

Text: "How's work?"

Translation: I just bought 17 more wicker baskets so you should ask for a raise today.

Text: "The car is doing something weird"

Translation: There's an axle on the roof.

Text: "K"

Translation: RED ALERT!!!

Text: "I'll be ready in 5 minutes"

Translation: You can build another table in your workshop, shower up, read a Brandon Sanderson novel, and then I'll be ready.

Text: "I want tacos"

Translation: I want tacos.

https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-interprets-your-wifes-texts

[Axtremus]

What’s the translation for “I’m pregnant (again)”?

[Doctor Phibes]

@Axtremus said in Interpreting Your Wife’s Texts:

What’s the translation for “I’m pregnant (again)”?

All of the above