Interpreting Your Wife’s Texts
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Text: "OK so don't be mad"
Translation: I just adopted 17 more kittens.
Text: "Hiii"
Translation: I'm lonely so please quit your job and be with me and talk with me forever.
Text: "Can u pick up some bread?"
Translation: Can u pick up some bread and a list of as-yet-undetermined things I will text you after you wait in line and have just checked out.
Text: "Just wondering when you'll be home"
Translation: I had a huge, massive emotional breakdown today and I need you home right now.
Text: "It's fine."
Translation: Everything is fine. Obviously.
Text: "U there?"
Translation: I know you're there, you have five seconds to reply.
Text: "How's work?"
Translation: I just bought 17 more wicker baskets so you should ask for a raise today.
Text: "The car is doing something weird"
Translation: There's an axle on the roof.
Text: "K"
Translation: RED ALERT!!!
Text: "I'll be ready in 5 minutes"
Translation: You can build another table in your workshop, shower up, read a Brandon Sanderson novel, and then I'll be ready.
Text: "I want tacos"
Translation: I want tacos.
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-interprets-your-wifes-texts
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@Axtremus said in Interpreting Your Wife’s Texts:
What’s the translation for “I’m pregnant (again)”?
All of the above
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