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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. Post your Libertarian jokes here

Post your Libertarian jokes here

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    "If you libertarians had your way, people would be having sex in public parks."

    "Not true. Those parks would never be public."

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      A liberal, a conservative and a libertarian walk in to a bar.

      Bartender says, what'll ya have Mitt?

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • Doctor PhibesD Offline
        Doctor PhibesD Offline
        Doctor Phibes
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        alt text

        I was only joking

        1 Reply Last reply
        • AxtremusA Offline
          AxtremusA Offline
          Axtremus
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          What is the tallest building in the world?
          The library, because it has the most stories.

          What do you call a South American librarian who is always in a hurry?
          Urgent Tina.

          Why did the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
          She had a storied career.

          What section of the library can you get biten by a snake?
          Hissssssstory.

          Whose the biggest liar in school?
          The Lie-brarian.

          What did the librarian say to John Cusack?
          Shhhhh! Don't Say Anything.

          What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
          Find space for a book.

          LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
          • Doctor PhibesD Offline
            Doctor PhibesD Offline
            Doctor Phibes
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

            I was only joking

            George KG 1 Reply Last reply
            • AxtremusA Axtremus

              What is the tallest building in the world?
              The library, because it has the most stories.

              What do you call a South American librarian who is always in a hurry?
              Urgent Tina.

              Why did the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
              She had a storied career.

              What section of the library can you get biten by a snake?
              Hissssssstory.

              Whose the biggest liar in school?
              The Lie-brarian.

              What did the librarian say to John Cusack?
              Shhhhh! Don't Say Anything.

              What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
              Find space for a book.

              LarryL Offline
              LarryL Offline
              Larry
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              @Axtremus said in Post your Libertarian jokes here:

              What is the tallest building in the world?
              The library, because it has the most stories.

              What do you call a South American librarian who is always in a hurry?
              Urgent Tina.

              Why did the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
              She had a storied career.

              What section of the library can you get biten by a snake?
              Hissssssstory.

              Whose the biggest liar in school?
              The Lie-brarian.

              What did the librarian say to John Cusack?
              Shhhhh! Don't Say Anything.

              What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
              Find space for a book.

              LIBERTARIAN, Ax. Not LIBRARIAN...

              LIBERTARIAN........

              Baaaahahahahaaaaaa

              1 Reply Last reply
              • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

                George KG Offline
                George KG Offline
                George K
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                @Doctor-Phibes stealing that one....

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins Dad
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Q: A Libertarian, a Vegan, and a Cyclist walk into a bar. How do you tell which is which?

                  A: Don't worry, they'll fucking tell you.

                  The Brad

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • LarryL Offline
                    LarryL Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Why did the LIBERTARIAN cross the road?
                    .
                    .
                    .
                    None of your damned business! ... Am I being detained?.....

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • LarryL Offline
                      LarryL Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I had a LIBERTARIAN salad for lunch ...

                      Lettuce alone!!!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • LarryL Offline
                        LarryL Offline
                        Larry
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        What's the difference between a LIBERTARIAN wedding and a LIBERTARIAN funeral?
                        .
                        .
                        .
                        One less opinion...

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • LarryL Offline
                          LarryL Offline
                          Larry
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Piźa boy arrives at a LIBERTARIAN meeting:

                          Knock knock...
                          .
                          .
                          .
                          .
                          GOT A WARRANT?

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Offline
                            LarryL Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on last edited by Larry
                            #13

                            Jesus Christ is in a restaurant having dinner.

                            A Republican comes in, sits down at a table. When the waitress comes over the Republican asks "isn't that Jesus over there?" The waitress says "yes". The Republican says " please take him a cup of coffee and charge it to me."

                            A Libertarian comes in and sits at another table. When the waitress comes over the Libertarian asks "Isn't that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress says "yes". The Libertarian says "please take him a glass of tea and put it on my bill."

                            A Democrat comes in and sits at a table. When the waitress comes over the Democrat asks "is that Jesus over there?" The waitress says "yes." The democrat looks around the room to see how many people are in the room, then in a loud voice says "TAKE JESUS A BEER AND PUT THE CHARGE ON MY BILL!"

                            A little later Jesus gets up to leave. As he passes the Republican he puts his hand on his shoulder and says "for your act of kindness, you have been healed." Instantly the pain in his legs was gone and the Republican stood up and danced for joy.

                            Jesus walks over to the libertarian, puts his hand on the libertarians shoulder and says "for your act of kindness, you have been healed." Immediately the pain in his back was gone, and he stood up and danced for joy.

                            As Jesus walks toward the Democrat, the Democrat jumps up ready to run and says "DONT TOUCH ME!! I'm on disability!!"

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              download-10-copy-2.jpg

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              L 1 Reply Last reply
                              • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                Doctor Phibes
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Why was Milo Yiannopoulos kicked out of the Libertarian Party?

                                He slowed down in a school zone.

                                I was only joking

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG George K

                                  download-10-copy-2.jpg

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Loki
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  @George-K said in Post your Libertarian jokes here:

                                  download-10-copy-2.jpg

                                  That’s hilarious.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Those are both hilarious

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
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