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The New Coffee Room

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  3. The Strange Incident in the Woods

The Strange Incident in the Woods

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  • Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua Letifer
    wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
    #1

    So, we took a bit of a walk in the woods today. (Interestingly, the folks who own the land hired me about 17 years ago. They were shits back then and I was this close to congratulating some asshole on preserving the legacy because of an altercation involving a beaver but whatever, back to the Incident.)

    We were on the tail end of the walk when I turned around to mutter to my wife something completely irrelevant and something smacked my head. Hard. Almost knocked me down. It bounced off my head and hit my wife's hand. Left a bit of a welt on her hand.

    My wife saw it happen. It was a stick about the length of a hardback book, maybe as thick as your thumb. Not very large, not very dense. It came down from the trees, but it didn't fall, it was motoring. It was spinning like someone chucked it sidearm, from about a 45 degree angle above and ahead of us, from the trees.

    There are many problems with this.

    • Neither my wife nor I heard any snap or anything like that. There was no one and nothing around, very quiet. I didn't even get to mentioning whatever bullshit I was about to say. This wasn't a stray stick from a broken branch or limb, we would've heard something.
    • The trees were pretty much all black walnuts. No one or no thing could be in them to throw the thing at me.
    • A stick that small can't really be thrown that fast—not at the kind of distance my wife saw it come in from anyway. It would've slowed down. This thing started at a speed beyond what someone could throw. Which makes sense, because it wasn't very large but it felt like someone hit me with a pool cue.
    • Like my wife said, it was spinning, like it was chucked sidearm. That might happen from a lawnmower or something, but not from a limb breaking.

    Basically none of this makes any sense. Any explanation is truly impossible.

    I blame Predators. It's the only thing that fits.

    Please love yourself.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • taiwan_girlT Offline
      taiwan_girlT Offline
      taiwan_girl
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Strange. Good thing that either of you were not seriously injured.

      However, I think is very possible it was just a branch that fell. It could have already been broken off and just resting on another branch. A slight breeze, or some small movement on the branch released it and it fell. I suppose if it was at the right angle, it could have started spinning.

      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
      • taiwan_girlT taiwan_girl

        Strange. Good thing that either of you were not seriously injured.

        However, I think is very possible it was just a branch that fell. It could have already been broken off and just resting on another branch. A slight breeze, or some small movement on the branch released it and it fell. I suppose if it was at the right angle, it could have started spinning.

        Aqua LetiferA Offline
        Aqua LetiferA Offline
        Aqua Letifer
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        @taiwan_girl said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

        Strange. Good thing that either of you were not seriously injured.

        However, I think is very possible it was just a branch that fell. It could have already been broken off and just resting on another branch. A slight breeze, or some small movement on the branch released it and it fell. I suppose if it was at the right angle, it could have started spinning.

        Branches don't fall at 45 degrees. And they sure as hell do not move that fast. Nor do they move that way. Like I said, it was like being thrown out of a lawnmower if you've ever seen that. Also, nothing else fell, no noise.

        Please love yourself.

        taiwan_girlT 1 Reply Last reply
        • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

          @taiwan_girl said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

          Strange. Good thing that either of you were not seriously injured.

          However, I think is very possible it was just a branch that fell. It could have already been broken off and just resting on another branch. A slight breeze, or some small movement on the branch released it and it fell. I suppose if it was at the right angle, it could have started spinning.

          Branches don't fall at 45 degrees. And they sure as hell do not move that fast. Nor do they move that way. Like I said, it was like being thrown out of a lawnmower if you've ever seen that. Also, nothing else fell, no noise.

          taiwan_girlT Offline
          taiwan_girlT Offline
          taiwan_girl
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          @Aqua-Letifer I have seen monkeys throw stuff from trees. Possible it was a monkey?

          1 Reply Last reply
          • HoraceH Offline
            HoraceH Offline
            Horace
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Interesting. When we develop the rewind technology by gathering light emitted by earth over history, we should add this to the list of mysteries to be solved. I hope the tree branches didn’t obscure the perpetrator.

            Education is extremely important.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • 89th8 Offline
              89th8 Offline
              89th
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              What are the odds someone far away threw it? Gravity will make it seem like it came from the trees.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • brendaB Offline
                brendaB Offline
                brenda
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Aqua, could there have been a person in the area near you and your wife, even though you couldn't see anyone else there? Lots of possibilities, such as the owner, a poacher, someone living in the woods (homeless), a kid with a strong arm.

                Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                • MikM Away
                  MikM Away
                  Mik
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  God is trying to get your attention.

                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • Catseye3C Offline
                    Catseye3C Offline
                    Catseye3
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Zombies. Duh.

                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • JollyJ Offline
                      JollyJ Offline
                      Jolly
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Small version of a widowmaker?

                      “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                      Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        alt text

                        "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                        -Cormac McCarthy

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • Catseye3C Offline
                          Catseye3C Offline
                          Catseye3
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Not sure it's relevant, more in the nature of collecting information: Did you compare the stick to the tree trunk to see if it was the same as the wood of the tree? IOW, could you rule in or rule out whether the stick originated from the tree?

                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                          Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Do we even know if it originated from earth?

                            "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                            -Cormac McCarthy

                            Catseye3C 89th8 2 Replies Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                              Do we even know if it originated from earth?

                              Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3
                              wrote on last edited by Catseye3
                              #14

                              @jon-nyc said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                              Do we even know if it originated from earth?

                              Because if anybody could piss off an alien from five light years away, it'd be Aqua.

                              j/k

                              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                Do we even know if it originated from earth?

                                89th8 Offline
                                89th8 Offline
                                89th
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                @jon-nyc said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                Do we even know if it originated from earth?

                                Aqua prefers the pronouns he/him

                                HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply
                                • brendaB brenda

                                  Aqua, could there have been a person in the area near you and your wife, even though you couldn't see anyone else there? Lots of possibilities, such as the owner, a poacher, someone living in the woods (homeless), a kid with a strong arm.

                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua Letifer
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  @brenda said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                  Aqua, could there have been a person in the area near you and your wife, even though you couldn't see anyone else there? Lots of possibilities, such as the owner, a poacher, someone living in the woods (homeless), a kid with a strong arm.

                                  Nah, this is on very restricted gummint land, and we were alone. The trees weren't such that anyone could climb them. Even bears would've had serious trouble.

                                  Still, though, although ridiculously improbable, it's slightly more probable than the broken branch theory.

                                  Please love yourself.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • 89th8 89th

                                    @jon-nyc said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                    Do we even know if it originated from earth?

                                    Aqua prefers the pronouns he/him

                                    HoraceH Offline
                                    HoraceH Offline
                                    Horace
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    @89th said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                    @jon-nyc said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                    Do we even know if it originated from earth?

                                    Aqua prefers the pronouns he/him

                                    Lol sick burn

                                    Education is extremely important.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                      Not sure it's relevant, more in the nature of collecting information: Did you compare the stick to the tree trunk to see if it was the same as the wood of the tree? IOW, could you rule in or rule out whether the stick originated from the tree?

                                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                      Aqua Letifer
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      @Catseye3 said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                      Not sure it's relevant, more in the nature of collecting information: Did you compare the stick to the tree trunk to see if it was the same as the wood of the tree? IOW, could you rule in or rule out whether the stick originated from the tree?

                                      Tress plural. We were in a forest. Absolutely no way to tell which particular tree it came from but yeah, the stick was native to that forest.

                                      Please love yourself.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • JollyJ Jolly

                                        Small version of a widowmaker?

                                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                        Aqua Letifer
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        @Jolly said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                        Small version of a widowmaker?

                                        That would explain the "random thing happening in the woods" angle but not the way it behaved.

                                        I mean, it's just nuts. Nothing makes any sense.

                                        Please love yourself.

                                        JollyJ Catseye3C 2 Replies Last reply
                                        • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                          @Jolly said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                          Small version of a widowmaker?

                                          That would explain the "random thing happening in the woods" angle but not the way it behaved.

                                          I mean, it's just nuts. Nothing makes any sense.

                                          JollyJ Offline
                                          JollyJ Offline
                                          Jolly
                                          wrote on last edited by Jolly
                                          #20

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                          @Jolly said in The Strange Incident in the Woods:

                                          Small version of a widowmaker?

                                          That would explain the "random thing happening in the woods" angle but not the way it behaved.

                                          I mean, it's just nuts. Nothing makes any sense.

                                          Bounced and changed trajectories. A good sized limb can kill you. A small one can leave bruises.

                                          “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                          Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

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