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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. A hard reality

A hard reality

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  • brendaB brenda

    Hubby's uncle in MD had a stroke yesterday, and he's in the hospital. It's not clear yet how bad the stroke was, but he's having trouble speaking, etc. He's always been such a vibrant person with a tremendous sense of humor. He's a retired inner city high school principal in Baltimore. If that isn't a testament to his inner strength, I don't know what is. They are still very active, and just last year moved to a new house to be closer to their daughter and grandchild.

    As if the stroke is not bad enough, his family can't come visit him now because of the pandemic. That part alone is a hard reality, and makes me want to cry for them. They're such wonderful people, and the last ones of that generation of hubby's family.

    bachophileB Offline
    bachophileB Offline
    bachophile
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    @brenda

    So sorry to hear

    Often people can have remarkable recoveries after strokes, not every symptom you see today is necessarily permanent, the nervous system has remarkable adaptive properties.

    brendaB 1 Reply Last reply
    • markM Offline
      markM Offline
      mark
      wrote on last edited by mark
      #5

      oh my. I cannot imagine the mental anguish, not be able to visit. So sorry to hear this.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        Ugh. I'm sorry Brenda.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

          @brenda said in A hard reality:

          Hubby's uncle in MD had a stroke yesterday, and he's in the hospital. It's not clear yet how bad the stroke was, but he's having trouble speaking, etc. He's always been such a vibrant person with a tremendous sense of humor. He's a retired inner city high school principal in Baltimore. If that isn't a testament to his inner strength, I don't know what is. They are still very active, and just last year moved to a new house to be closer to their daughter and grandchild.

          As if the stroke is not bad enough, his family can't come visit him now because of the pandemic. That part alone is a hard reality, and makes me want to cry for them. They're such wonderful people, and the last ones of that generation of hubby's family.

          I'm so sorry, Brenda. 😞 Are there people in the area that can visit him?

          (It's something we're dealing with here, too, though not to that extent. My wife's family is moving next week and her dad is at extremely high risk. They're pissed we're not going up to help them, but they live in Long Island. It's just too much of a risk, for them and for us. And if anything happens to my folks down in FL, we won't be able to get down there. It's something I worry about.)

          brendaB Offline
          brendaB Offline
          brenda
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          @Aqua-Letifer
          His wife and daughter live right in the area. It's because of the pandemic that visitors are not allowed at this time.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua Letifer
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            Damn. 😞

            Please love yourself.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • bachophileB bachophile

              @brenda

              So sorry to hear

              Often people can have remarkable recoveries after strokes, not every symptom you see today is necessarily permanent, the nervous system has remarkable adaptive properties.

              brendaB Offline
              brendaB Offline
              brenda
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              @bachophile
              Yes, I am aware of that, and that's why his recent house move and activities are noted. I think those all work in his favor right now, as does his good nature and attitude. Thanks, bach.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • kluursK Offline
                kluursK Offline
                kluurs
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                Sad. No words are adequate - but hope he recovers quickly. Such a tragedy that the family cannot be with him at this time.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • CopperC Offline
                  CopperC Offline
                  Copper
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  Not being able to visit is one of the most difficult problems with this flu

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • George KG Offline
                    George KG Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    So sorry to hear. Please extend my best regards.

                    To add to what bach said, even in adulthood the plasticity of the brain is amazing.

                    One of the nurses I worked with had a stroke about 3 months ago. Difficulty with speech, motor control, etc.

                    Took about 2 weeks, but she's 90% recovered, from what I hear.

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      Very sorry, Brenda; terrible news. I wish him well.

                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor Phibes
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        So sorry to hear this, Brenda. Not being able to visit is very tough.

                        I was only joking

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • MikM Offline
                          MikM Offline
                          Mik
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          Awful. I hope the staff are able to keep his spirits up so he can heal.

                          β€œI am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Loki
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            I am so sorry. Extra frightening these days but care for stroke patients just keeps getting better and better. Baseline stress for all of us is up so it takes very little to put any of us on edge.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jodiJ Offline
                              jodiJ Offline
                              jodi
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              Oh dear. I am so sorry.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • JollyJ Offline
                                JollyJ Offline
                                Jolly
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                Its a tough time, for sure. It would be even tougher if his family came down sick from visiting him.

                                Wishing him a full and speedy recovery.

                                β€œCry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". β€” Buck Sexton

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • F Offline
                                  F Offline
                                  Friday
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #19

                                  One of the saddest aspect to this pandemic is that no one is allowed to visit the medical centers. I'm sorry too Brenda.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • brendaB Offline
                                    brendaB Offline
                                    brenda
                                    wrote on last edited by brenda
                                    #20

                                    Well, the plus side is that if you're able to walk, you'll get to go home when the hospital is so busy.. He's a strong one, and it pays to stay active. He's already walking well enough to go back to their single-storey house. His speaking is still an issue, but that's improving, too. He loves to talk as much as I do, so his odds are good that his speech will get better over time.

                                    Really, I think he'll do better at home than at the hospital now, as long as he's past the critical time of having another stroke episode. The first day or two are often when a second stroke can occur.

                                    I haven't heard what physical therapy he will need, or anything else like that. It's probably too soon to know. As Bach and George said, the brain is pretty amazing and can show improvement in remarkable ways. Until it's clear what he really needs for PT, that won't be decided yet. Fingers crossed for him, and so relieved to have him back with family.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • brendaB Offline
                                      brendaB Offline
                                      brenda
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #21

                                      And thank you all for being so kind. It stinks to get bad news and not be able to go help due to the distance. While hubby and I were talking about whether we could make it to a funeral out in MD (if things turned out that way), Uncle rallied and got moving under his own power again. With the way things turned out, now that all strikes me as rather funny. Uncle would be the first to laugh about it, too. He loves irreverent humor like that.

                                      Reminds me of that old Ole and Lena joke. (Probably because Uncle loves Ole and Lena jokes.)

                                      Ole is terribly sick in bed, sicker than he's ever been. The delicious aroma of home baking from the kitchen gives him the determination to get out of bed to go have a bite of whatever just came out of the oven that smells so wonderful.

                                      As he reaches for a cookie, his wife Lena slaps his hand. "Don't touch those, Ole! Those are for your funeral!"

                                      Thanks for holding my hand through that first night. You people are the best!

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • AxtremusA Away
                                        AxtremusA Away
                                        Axtremus
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #22

                                        Sorry to hear, @brenda, hope things get better for him.

                                        brendaB 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • AxtremusA Axtremus

                                          Sorry to hear, @brenda, hope things get better for him.

                                          brendaB Offline
                                          brendaB Offline
                                          brenda
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #23

                                          @Axtremus
                                          He's already exceeded our expectations. His daughter was so distraught last night, and she had us thinking of funeral plans. That he's walking again is just outstanding.

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