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The New Coffee Room

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  3. This sort of shit happens all the time.

This sort of shit happens all the time.

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  • Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua Letifer
    wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
    #1

    My daughter and I went out today on our regular check-in on Susan and Guy. It’s a long story, but they’re a couple who live a couple blocks over. For Guy, they got a poodle, Bo, that needs walking. Bo’s some kind of support animal, but I don’t know anything else beyond that. Guy takes him out when he can, but he’s also old and Bo is still a puppy. (Also, according to Guy, “just a little retarded.” So he can be a handful.) On our walks through the neighborhood, we check in with them and see if Bo needs to step out.

    He was good today, though, so we kept walking. On a side street at the end of our walk, this woman pulls up beside us.

    “Is that your daughter?”
    “…Yeah…?”
    “How old is she?”
    “3.”
    “One second.”

    She parks right in the street and pops her trunk. She had a yard sale over the weekend, but still had some stuff she was trying to get rid of. She goes through everything in the trunk (it was nearly full), and holds each item up to my daughter. She really likes a fluffy lamb stuffed animal, and a figurine of Mickey and Minnie that are definitely older than me, still in the packaging. So the old woman gives them to her.

    Her name’s Lucia and lives up the road a bit. We thank her for thinking of us and for stopping. Turns out mine is the same name as her son.

    She gets into her car and says, “he died in his early fifties. Heart attack. No health conditions or drugs or anything, just a heart attack.”

    Then she buckles up. “My husband and I divorced decades back. He had five brothers. They all died of heart attacks. He never told me.”

    We moved just 4 months ago. I lived in Northern Virginia for years and never once got to know any of my neighbors.

    Please love yourself.

    89th8 1 Reply Last reply
    • George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Something to be said for tight-knit communities.

      In our house, we knew our neighbors, at least as far as to know names, basic family structure, etc.

      In our condo, of 22 units, we are really knowledgeable with about 16 of them with respect to family, health, etc.

      It's good to know your community. I hope your experiences continue.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
      • LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins Dad
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        I’ve lived in Northern Virginia for close to 20 years and have always gotten to know my neighbors…

        Fucking bastards…

        The Brad

        1 Reply Last reply
        • George KG George K

          Something to be said for tight-knit communities.

          In our house, we knew our neighbors, at least as far as to know names, basic family structure, etc.

          In our condo, of 22 units, we are really knowledgeable with about 16 of them with respect to family, health, etc.

          It's good to know your community. I hope your experiences continue.

          Aqua LetiferA Offline
          Aqua LetiferA Offline
          Aqua Letifer
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          @George-K said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

          Something to be said for tight-knit communities.

          In our house, we knew our neighbors, at least as far as to know names, basic family structure, etc.

          In our condo, of 22 units, we are really knowledgeable with about 16 of them with respect to family, health, etc.

          It's good to know your community. I hope your experiences continue.

          Yeah, like that. I grew up in a small town. It's definitely something I've missed. I mean, yeah, there's no damnedable Starbucks or Harris Teeter, and you get the odd opioid freak and such, but small towns also have a lot of advantages. There's an expectation to say hello, look out for the neighborhood kids, and pick up litter if you see it.

          Please love yourself.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • CopperC Offline
            CopperC Offline
            Copper
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            35 years, 150 homes in the neighborhood in NOVA. We knew the people on either side and the people with children the same age as ours and my cousin.

            And maybe a few others.

            The rest were no darned good.

            2 years in southern VA now 300 homes and a golf course. I know a fair number of the residents. And everyone waves to everyone, all the time. This is the waviest place I've ever seen. I am waving nonstop.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

              My daughter and I went out today on our regular check-in on Susan and Guy. It’s a long story, but they’re a couple who live a couple blocks over. For Guy, they got a poodle, Bo, that needs walking. Bo’s some kind of support animal, but I don’t know anything else beyond that. Guy takes him out when he can, but he’s also old and Bo is still a puppy. (Also, according to Guy, “just a little retarded.” So he can be a handful.) On our walks through the neighborhood, we check in with them and see if Bo needs to step out.

              He was good today, though, so we kept walking. On a side street at the end of our walk, this woman pulls up beside us.

              “Is that your daughter?”
              “…Yeah…?”
              “How old is she?”
              “3.”
              “One second.”

              She parks right in the street and pops her trunk. She had a yard sale over the weekend, but still had some stuff she was trying to get rid of. She goes through everything in the trunk (it was nearly full), and holds each item up to my daughter. She really likes a fluffy lamb stuffed animal, and a figurine of Mickey and Minnie that are definitely older than me, still in the packaging. So the old woman gives them to her.

              Her name’s Lucia and lives up the road a bit. We thank her for thinking of us and for stopping. Turns out mine is the same name as her son.

              She gets into her car and says, “he died in his early fifties. Heart attack. No health conditions or drugs or anything, just a heart attack.”

              Then she buckles up. “My husband and I divorced decades back. He had five brothers. They all died of heart attacks. He never told me.”

              We moved just 4 months ago. I lived in Northern Virginia for years and never once got to know any of my neighbors.

              89th8 Offline
              89th8 Offline
              89th
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              @Aqua-Letifer said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

              Also, according to Guy, “just a little retarded.” So he can be a handful.

              He either is crass, or he has a masterful use of the sophisticated English language.

              Turns out mine is the same name as her son.

              Kinda weird she named him Aqua.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • 89th8 Offline
                89th8 Offline
                89th
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Happy for you, though, Aqua. At first I thought this story would end with a "where do these creeps come from?" ending.

                As with everything, I have an opinion. I think you're right with Northern Virginia for 3 reasons:

                1. It's a very transient area. Sure, I was born and raised there, but it feels like 90% of residents recently moved there and don't plan on staying. It has great access to historical sites, the mountains, the beach, and terrific job security, but it's still an area that thrives off the government industry/funding.

                2. It's crowded and lots of strangers. So people keep to their own, mostly. On walks with my daughter there we would say hello (and get a greeting in return) from others, but that was about it.

                3. The culture/expectation is different once you get to a different area, whether that is rural VA, west virginia, less-crowded maryland areas, or even in my new neighborhood in Minnesota. It is rare for a car to drive by while we're on our driveway and for the person NOT to wave. Pretty friendly....although with COVID folks seem still a little hesitant to have kids join for play dates or whatever inside another's house.

                Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                • MikM Offline
                  MikM Offline
                  Mik
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  For 25 years here we knew ALL our neighbors, quite well, and a lot in the surrounding neighborhoods. The last 8 years or so there has been a lot of turnover and now we know very few, just the oldies like us that are left

                  I remember when we were the youngsters. 😢

                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • JollyJ Offline
                    JollyJ Offline
                    Jolly
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    I know a good many folks out here. My wife knows darn near all of them. Either she or I are kin to half of them.

                    “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                      Doctor PhibesD Offline
                      Doctor Phibes
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      The difference between small town Ontario and suburban Massachusetts in this regard is huge, and not in a good way. We had so many more friends in Canada.

                      I was only joking

                      jon-nycJ JollyJ 2 Replies Last reply
                      • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                        The difference between small town Ontario and suburban Massachusetts in this regard is huge, and not in a good way. We had so many more friends in Canada.

                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        @Doctor-Phibes Sure, but each one was worth 28% less.

                        "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                        -Cormac McCarthy

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                          The difference between small town Ontario and suburban Massachusetts in this regard is huge, and not in a good way. We had so many more friends in Canada.

                          JollyJ Offline
                          JollyJ Offline
                          Jolly
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          @Doctor-Phibes said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                          The difference between small town Ontario and suburban Massachusetts in this regard is huge, and not in a good way. My wife We had so many more friends in Canada.

                          FIFY.

                          “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                          Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                          Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                          • JollyJ Jolly

                            @Doctor-Phibes said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                            The difference between small town Ontario and suburban Massachusetts in this regard is huge, and not in a good way. My wife We had so many more friends in Canada.

                            FIFY.

                            Doctor PhibesD Offline
                            Doctor PhibesD Offline
                            Doctor Phibes
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            @Jolly said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                            @Doctor-Phibes said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                            The difference between small town Ontario and suburban Massachusetts in this regard is huge, and not in a good way. My wife We had so many more friends in Canada.

                            FIFY.

                            Harsh, but fair.

                            I was only joking

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • 89th8 89th

                              Happy for you, though, Aqua. At first I thought this story would end with a "where do these creeps come from?" ending.

                              As with everything, I have an opinion. I think you're right with Northern Virginia for 3 reasons:

                              1. It's a very transient area. Sure, I was born and raised there, but it feels like 90% of residents recently moved there and don't plan on staying. It has great access to historical sites, the mountains, the beach, and terrific job security, but it's still an area that thrives off the government industry/funding.

                              2. It's crowded and lots of strangers. So people keep to their own, mostly. On walks with my daughter there we would say hello (and get a greeting in return) from others, but that was about it.

                              3. The culture/expectation is different once you get to a different area, whether that is rural VA, west virginia, less-crowded maryland areas, or even in my new neighborhood in Minnesota. It is rare for a car to drive by while we're on our driveway and for the person NOT to wave. Pretty friendly....although with COVID folks seem still a little hesitant to have kids join for play dates or whatever inside another's house.

                              Aqua LetiferA Offline
                              Aqua LetiferA Offline
                              Aqua Letifer
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              @89th said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                              As with everything, I have an opinion. I think you're right with Northern Virginia for 3 reasons.

                              Those are good points, and overlap quite a bit with my own. If we're going to diagnose NoVa, though, this is my very best stab at it.

                              (1)
                              In a fairly popular psych study, subjects were asked to wait in a waiting room. In the center of the room was a big bowl of candy with a sign that said "DO NOT EAT—CANDY FOR CHILDREN" or some such. They set up the study so that each subject would be in the room alone. They took note of everyone who stole from the bowl anyway, and everyone who didn't, then broke down the findings according to each subject's financial status. Then, they did the same test, only this time it was cars that stopped at crosswalks when there was a pedestrian trying to cross. Results were pretty solid: the really poor and the really rich were the most considerate. The people in the middle were, well, in the middle. The greediest, most self-centered assholes, every single fucking time, were the ones who were sort-of poor, and sort-of rich.

                              I can't speak to the sort-of poor, but those sort-of rich people all live in Northern Virginia. It's literally why they move there. To be that.

                              (2)
                              You can't argue that Northern Virginia is beautiful to look at. It's strip malls and condos that overlook strip malls for miles.

                              And the jobs aren't fun to talk about, unless you're a nerd. One time in three, when you meet someone and ask them what they do, they follow up with an apology for how boring their job is. But it pays great of course, so that's why they do it.

                              Bland, sterile shopping centers. Townhouses with no character. Jobs with no meaning or value. Terrible traffic. But, you get paid better than average—not richly but better than average—the benefits are also better than average, and you have your choice of gelato.

                              If you don't think this kind of existence drives human beings crazy you're out of your mind. Every crazy thing that happens on Rt. 7, every fucking weekday morning, is proof enough.

                              (3)
                              There's a woman who works as a contractor, and she has a habit of losing her shit. She upends tables, throws computers, lays down into a ball and screams, crazy stuff. But because she has such a high clearance, it's far cheaper to keep her than to get a replacement, so what they did was let her work remotely half the week. Only her, no one else. For mental health reasons. Except she can't bring her work home, of course, so she just hangs out with her cats.

                              I know someone else who's a translator. He has bipolar disorder. It's bad. It ruins relationships. But he won't get help or go on any pills because if he does, there's then a record of "mental illness" and he loses his job. So, he'll never get help for it.

                              Clearances encourage and reward insanity.

                              Please love yourself.

                              89th8 1 Reply Last reply
                              • JollyJ Offline
                                JollyJ Offline
                                Jolly
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                I think Trump was right.

                                Move some of the departments out of the D.C. area, back to where "normal" people live.

                                Interior was fine in Colorado. Move Ag to Omaha or somewhere else in the Midwest. Put Energy in Texas. Social Security in Florida. The IRS in Guam.

                                “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                                Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                • JollyJ Jolly

                                  I think Trump was right.

                                  Move some of the departments out of the D.C. area, back to where "normal" people live.

                                  Interior was fine in Colorado. Move Ag to Omaha or somewhere else in the Midwest. Put Energy in Texas. Social Security in Florida. The IRS in Guam.

                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua Letifer
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  @Jolly said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                  I think Trump was right.

                                  Move some of the departments out of the D.C. area, back to where "normal" people live.

                                  I'm all for it.

                                  Please love yourself.

                                  JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                    @89th said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                    As with everything, I have an opinion. I think you're right with Northern Virginia for 3 reasons.

                                    Those are good points, and overlap quite a bit with my own. If we're going to diagnose NoVa, though, this is my very best stab at it.

                                    (1)
                                    In a fairly popular psych study, subjects were asked to wait in a waiting room. In the center of the room was a big bowl of candy with a sign that said "DO NOT EAT—CANDY FOR CHILDREN" or some such. They set up the study so that each subject would be in the room alone. They took note of everyone who stole from the bowl anyway, and everyone who didn't, then broke down the findings according to each subject's financial status. Then, they did the same test, only this time it was cars that stopped at crosswalks when there was a pedestrian trying to cross. Results were pretty solid: the really poor and the really rich were the most considerate. The people in the middle were, well, in the middle. The greediest, most self-centered assholes, every single fucking time, were the ones who were sort-of poor, and sort-of rich.

                                    I can't speak to the sort-of poor, but those sort-of rich people all live in Northern Virginia. It's literally why they move there. To be that.

                                    (2)
                                    You can't argue that Northern Virginia is beautiful to look at. It's strip malls and condos that overlook strip malls for miles.

                                    And the jobs aren't fun to talk about, unless you're a nerd. One time in three, when you meet someone and ask them what they do, they follow up with an apology for how boring their job is. But it pays great of course, so that's why they do it.

                                    Bland, sterile shopping centers. Townhouses with no character. Jobs with no meaning or value. Terrible traffic. But, you get paid better than average—not richly but better than average—the benefits are also better than average, and you have your choice of gelato.

                                    If you don't think this kind of existence drives human beings crazy you're out of your mind. Every crazy thing that happens on Rt. 7, every fucking weekday morning, is proof enough.

                                    (3)
                                    There's a woman who works as a contractor, and she has a habit of losing her shit. She upends tables, throws computers, lays down into a ball and screams, crazy stuff. But because she has such a high clearance, it's far cheaper to keep her than to get a replacement, so what they did was let her work remotely half the week. Only her, no one else. For mental health reasons. Except she can't bring her work home, of course, so she just hangs out with her cats.

                                    I know someone else who's a translator. He has bipolar disorder. It's bad. It ruins relationships. But he won't get help or go on any pills because if he does, there's then a record of "mental illness" and he loses his job. So, he'll never get help for it.

                                    Clearances encourage and reward insanity.

                                    89th8 Offline
                                    89th8 Offline
                                    89th
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    @Aqua-Letifer Hahaha love the analysis. Sounds like you know some of my coworkers 🙂

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                      @Jolly said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                      I think Trump was right.

                                      Move some of the departments out of the D.C. area, back to where "normal" people live.

                                      I'm all for it.

                                      JollyJ Offline
                                      JollyJ Offline
                                      Jolly
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      @Aqua-Letifer said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                      @Jolly said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                      I think Trump was right.

                                      Move some of the departments out of the D.C. area, back to where "normal" people live.

                                      I'm all for it.

                                      Ah, but you argued against it at the time. 😛

                                      “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                      Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                                      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • JollyJ Jolly

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                        @Jolly said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                        I think Trump was right.

                                        Move some of the departments out of the D.C. area, back to where "normal" people live.

                                        I'm all for it.

                                        Ah, but you argued against it at the time. 😛

                                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                        Aqua Letifer
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        @Jolly said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                        @Jolly said in This sort of shit happens all the time.:

                                        I think Trump was right.

                                        Move some of the departments out of the D.C. area, back to where "normal" people live.

                                        I'm all for it.

                                        Ah, but you argued against it at the time. 😛

                                        Meh. Maybe I was drunk.

                                        Please love yourself.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • LuFins DadL Offline
                                          LuFins DadL Offline
                                          LuFins Dad
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Speaking of neighborhoods and “this sort of shit happens…”

                                          Walking the dogs this morning a sweet old lady stopped to talk about how she sees my daughter walking the dogs every afternoon…

                                          The Brad

                                          89th8 1 Reply Last reply
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