At school in Vegas
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Now I am going to address @Aqua-Letifer’s answer (then get to @Copper and @Jolly and @Larry’s answers in turn).
@Aqua-Letifer: ”A lot of things about right and wrong, about rules and procedures, and about the times in which someone has to step up because there is no adult vs. getting hurt or killed because you tried to play the hero. After school these situations get very complicated.”
This, I appreciate, it shows that you recognize the complexity.
@Aqua-Letifer: ”But for a school situation, I'm going to be telling her something similar to what mik and Larry said. In school, you see that sort of shit, you don't wait for a fucking adult, you stop it.”
Two problems with this:
- Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers. “Stop it”? How? To the point of staking your own life on it, or to some lesser degree?
- The underlying assumption that your kid has the capability to “stop it,” without qualification. This may not be true.
@axtremus said in At school in Vegas:
Now I am going to address @Aqua-Letifer’s answer (then get to @Copper and @Jolly and @Larry’s answers in turn).
@Aqua-Letifer: ”A lot of things about right and wrong, about rules and procedures, and about the times in which someone has to step up because there is no adult vs. getting hurt or killed because you tried to play the hero. After school these situations get very complicated.”
This, I appreciate, it shows that you recognize the complexity.
@Aqua-Letifer: ”But for a school situation, I'm going to be telling her something similar to what mik and Larry said. In school, you see that sort of shit, you don't wait for a fucking adult, you stop it.”
Two problems with this:
- Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers. “Stop it”? How? To the point of staking your own life on it, or to some lesser degree?
- The underlying assumption that your kid has the capability to “stop it,” without qualification. This may not be true.
One problem with this:
My response was based on my poor handling of situations like this when I was the child, and what I learned from that. Yours is based on conceptual masturbation.
Forgive me for not really caring what you think of my response, but I sincerely doubt your own ability to deal with a situation like this on any level.
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@klaus said in At school in Vegas:
@axtremus said in At school in Vegas:
@Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”
“You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.
A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.
Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.
“Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.
@axtremus said in At school in Vegas:
@klaus said in At school in Vegas:
@axtremus said in At school in Vegas:
@Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”
“You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.
A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.
Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.
“Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.
It's not that difficult. If a kid A is being treated quite unfairly or violently by another kid B, you help A, either by getting involved in the fight or, if applicable, get an adult to interfere. Kids with a healthy background actually have a quite decent instinct on what the right thing to do in such situations is. Micromanagement is a terrible parenting strategy. You show the general direction, not every step along the way.
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@klaus said in At school in Vegas:
@axtremus said in At school in Vegas:
@Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”
“You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.
A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.
Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.
“Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.
@axtremus said in At school in Vegas:
@klaus said in At school in Vegas:
@axtremus said in At school in Vegas:
@Larry wrote: “What would I tell my kid? Exactly the same thing I told them when they were in school - don't start anything, but if someone else does, you finish it.”
“You finish it” is a rather vague, rather empty bravura. Insufficiently prescriptive for school age children/teenagers, insufficiently prescriptive for most adults, for that matter. Heck, “finishing it” may even be done by getting a school staff member to step in. Also has the same problem as @Copper’s answer, that assumption that the your kid has the bigger firepower, which may not be true.
A kid is not a robot waiting for detailed instructions on what it needs to do. You teach a kid a good set of values and leave the implementation of those values in a particular context to the discretion of the kid. Sure, it may screw up sometimes, but that's life.
Not that what you say isn’t true, just that it still doesn’t get you closer to teaching your kid what to do in that situation.
“Finish (eating) your vegetables”, “finish your homework”, “finish your chores” have common sense understanding and you can indeed expect a school age person to execute those without detailed instructions. “Finish it” (where “it” in this case refers to a fight you witness) is a far cry from having a common sense understanding, that’s why you see people having trouble actually verbalizing what that’s supposed to mean.
You are a stone cold moron.
