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The New Coffee Room

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  3. Family Dilemma

Family Dilemma

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  • Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua Letifer
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    So today, in another corner of Happyland, I get a call from my mom.

    My dad's balance has been way off, for quite a long time now (unknowenmost to me). They live in FL, and so it's taken them over a month for him to get into the Balance Center. He just got out, an hour early, so I have no idea what that means. Haven't heard yet.

    Anyway, to get into the Balance Center, he had to stop taking all his other meds as of two days ago. So he's been awake for over two days, no naps or rest of any kind. In other words he's pretty fucked up.

    He really and I mean really wants to see his grandkid for the holidays. So I parlayed with my mom, who was very understanding. I told her look, we have to keep it pretty damn safe because the grandkid is coming off COVID, as is my wife, and I have this whole other bullshit that's screwing up my lungs. And the world is blowing up with Omicron right now, so taking risks is a bad idea. We could meet up, but we'd have to isolate for the duration.

    My mom was very understanding to her credit, but said she didn't think either of them would be okay with taking measures that are that hardcore.

    I hate not seeing my folks for the holidays, but what can be done, y'know? I don't think I'm being ridiculous with what we suggested. Hell I even offered to just be there for two days so we don't put them out for very long. So I don't know what else we could do.

    Please love yourself.

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    • MikM Offline
      MikM Offline
      Mik
      wrote on last edited by Mik
      #2

      Your first responsibility is to your wife and child. Do not risk their health, yours, or your parents' to make anyone else transiently happy. Have a Zoom Christmas morning. You might even be able to coach them through putting it up on a big screen TV if they have a laptop with camera.

      Want vs. need.

      “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
      • MikM Mik

        Your first responsibility is to your wife and child. Do not risk their health, yours, or your parents' to make anyone else transiently happy. Have a Zoom Christmas morning. You might even be able to coach them through putting it up on a big screen TV if they have a laptop with camera.

        Want vs. need.

        Aqua LetiferA Offline
        Aqua LetiferA Offline
        Aqua Letifer
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        @mik said in Family Dilemma:

        Your first responsibility is to your wife and child. Do not risk their health, yours, or your parents' to make anyone else happy. Have a Zoom Christmas morning. You might even be able to coach them through putting it up on a big screen TV if they have a laptop with camera.

        Want vs. need.

        Yeah, good options, Mik.

        It's just tough, and complicated. I feel terrible for my folks, but I can't help them out in any way. I can't even ask them how they're doing, because they don't want to hear from me. I don't mean that in a ha-ha sort of way, they literally ignore me when FaceTiming them. Me being sick I think was the first time they remembered I was still around. But they do love the crap out of their grandkid, and they're still my parents, so I try to get them to talk to her because I know it really helps them.

        Please love yourself.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • MikM Offline
          MikM Offline
          Mik
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          And that's great. It's also great that you love and accept your folks for who they are. My family wasn't Ozzie and Harriet either, but no one intended any harm, there was no meanness to it. I suspect yours is the same way.

          But the happiness they seek is transitory and the consequences can be permanent.

          “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

          1 Reply Last reply
          • 89th8 Offline
            89th8 Offline
            89th
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            You're handling it right. Use tech for the actual holiday and then plan a longer trip in the spring when shit calms down. Also, tell them your old friend 89th is on the video chat and then BAM tell them you were kidding but now they have to talk.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              What Min and 89th said....

              So sorry you're going thru all this shit.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

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              • RenaudaR Offline
                RenaudaR Offline
                Renauda
                wrote on last edited by Renauda
                #7

                I too concur with the others. I can well understand the difficulty this infection brings for families.

                Elbows up!

                1 Reply Last reply
                • Aqua LetiferA Offline
                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                  Aqua Letifer
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Thanks, everybody. Suffice to say I'm well over my head with everything going on.

                  Which, hooray, I get my adulting merit badge!

                  Please love yourself.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • JollyJ Offline
                    JollyJ Offline
                    Jolly
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Wait until that wonderful child of yours becomes a teenager. It's kinda like an advanced degree in adulting...

                    “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

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