CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2

[Aqua Letifer]

@George-K said in CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2:

@Copper said in CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2:

That Greta is fooling so many people

https://babylonbee.com/news/masterclass-replaces-all-instructors-with-greta-thunberg?utm_content=buffer8816e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

MasterClass Replaces All Instructors With Greta Thunberg

Millions are overjoyed today after MasterClass.com announced they will be replacing every single one of their instructors with Greta Thunberg. Beginning next week, knowledge-hungry learners around the world will be able to sit at the feet of Thunberg as she offers her wisdom on everything from screenwriting to astrophysics.

Whether you want expert instruction on neurosurgery, blacksmithing, or jet engine repair, world-renowned expert on all things Greta Thunberg will be there to lecture you.

"This will be a huge step up in quality for us," said David Rogier, CEO of the online learning site. "We thought about bringing her on to teach one class on global warming, but then we thought, 'Heck, let's just have her teach everything!' There is nobody more brilliant than Greta Thunberg. This is what the planet needs right now!"

Neil Gaiman, the bestselling author who currently teaches The Art of Storytelling MasterClass, reacted to the news that he would soon be replaced with a teenage climate activist from Sweden.

"I have written stories for the ages. With nothing more than a pen, paper, and 26 English letters, I can transport your mind to worlds beyond your imagination. I can tell stories that will stick to your soul and stay there for all time... but I am not, nor will I ever be Greta Thunberg. Only Greta can take my storytelling class to levels I never even dreamed of."

Other celebrities and world-renowned experts reacted with elation that Thunberg would be taking over their classes in ballet, international diplomacy, comedy, wine appreciation, and electronic dance music. "This is what the planet needs right now!" they all said in perfect monotone unison. "Thank you, Greta!"

MasterClass confirmed that all classes will just be variations of the same lecture where Greta scolds you for your use of plastic and fossil fuel. The Business Leadership MasterClass will just be a continuous loop of Greta yelling "How dare you!" at the screen.

"We have even more compelling content on the horizon," said Rogier. "For only $180 per year, you too can be as wise as Greta Thunberg!"

1. Yes, hilarious.

2. MasterClass gets an unfairly bad wrap. You don't sign up for those things to actually learn how to write a screenplay, design a building, or become a professional chef. You sign up for those things to learn the why behind the instructors, so that you can understand what you're doing a lot better.

I got half off the Annie Leibovitz one. It was really helpful in that regard. I didn't learn a thing about the exposure triangle or how to set up my own photography business, but then again I didn't want to. YouTube is full of that kind of shit. I learned what Leibovitz is trying to do with photography, which was a lot more valuable.

[George K]

@Aqua-Letifer said in CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2:

I got half off the Annie Leibovitz one.

"Half off" or "half of?"

Just so we're clear.

[Aqua Letifer]

Half off on the price of the thing, yes.

[Larry]

Dammit, George! I hadnt finished my coffee yet!

[George K]

@Aqua-Letifer said in CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2:

Half off on the price of the thing, yes.

Ah, okay then. Whatever you say, man.

[Aqua Letifer]

She's your demographic, man, not mine.

[Jolly]

You haz demographic?

[jon-nyc]

[89th]

[kluurs]

[Mik]

@George-K said in CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2:

@Aqua-Letifer said in CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2:

I got half off the Annie Leibovitz one.

"Half off" or "half of?"

Just so we're clear.

Swell. I can expect Jeff Goldblum in drag nightmares all week now. But she's a wonderful photog.

[George K]

@Mik said in CNN gets an expert to discuss SARS-CoV-2:

Swell. I can expect Jeff Goldblum in drag nightmares all week now. But she's a wonderful photog.

I got yer Goldblum nightmare right here:

I actually taped that to the door of a bathroom stall at work. Lasted about a day....