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The New Coffee Room

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  3. An awkward visit from a colleague

An awkward visit from a colleague

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  • markM Offline
    markM Offline
    mark
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    Sounds exactly how I would feel. You are not alone in that. Hell, I have "friends" more like acquaintances who think we were better friends then we really were back then wanting to re-connect. I decline most of the time very cordially by being "busy".

    During the height of the COVID crap in 2020 I was warned that a person we knew back in the day who is definitely bi-polar, was running around town, telling everyone he was infected and trying to infect as many people as he could so we could all just get COVID and be done with it. He showed up at the end of my driveway in an 18 wheeler cab and I yelled at the top of my lungs from my front door to get the fuck off my property. My neighbors probably thought I was the nut. I promptly called the police non-emergency number to warn them that there was a lunatic on the lose in town.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • kluursK Offline
      kluursK Offline
      kluurs
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      As Dan Quayle so eloquently stated, "what a waste it is to lose one's mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

      Sad...I suspect we all fear that condition as much or more than any other, to lose the essence of one's self. My father had some mini-strokes in his last years that changed him such that when he died, I felt like I'd already lost him. Both my older brothers and I hope our end comes before such a loss of self.

      In a past career, I dealt with the mentally ill - some of whom have a tortured self which can present some similar challenges. It isn't easy - as one can struggle to know where the path leads.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins Dad
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        So if you had to choose between a visit from this guy or the conspiracy theory surgeon, which would you go with?

        The Brad

        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
        • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

          So if you had to choose between a visit from this guy or the conspiracy theory surgeon, which would you go with?

          George KG Offline
          George KG Offline
          George K
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          @lufins-dad said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

          So if you had to choose between a visit from this guy or the conspiracy theory surgeon, which would you go with?

          The surgeon. He may be nuts, but he's not nuts nuts.

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua Letifer
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            My grandmother got Alzheimer's hard. But she hung on for a very, very long time. It was weird for me and I was pretty young at the time; it was devastating for my parents, and many of my dad's siblings.

            Hard Impossible to know what to do, even when it's your own family member.

            Please love yourself.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • Doctor PhibesD Offline
              Doctor PhibesD Offline
              Doctor Phibes
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              My mum had dementia. It was just awful watching her deteriorate. Truly heartbreaking. On the positive side, her music kept her going - she never lost the ability to play the piano until right at the end.

              I was only joking

              IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
              • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                My mum had dementia. It was just awful watching her deteriorate. Truly heartbreaking. On the positive side, her music kept her going - she never lost the ability to play the piano until right at the end.

                IvorythumperI Offline
                IvorythumperI Offline
                Ivorythumper
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                @doctor-phibes said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                My mum had dementia. It was just awful watching her deteriorate. Truly heartbreaking. On the positive side, her music kept her going - she never lost the ability to play the piano until right at the end.

                I hope that music gave her some consolation.

                My father, and his older brother and older sister all died around 69 - 70 years old from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. My oldest cousin just died from IPF as well in his later 60s. They were all heavy smokers when younger. Dad's younger brother and younger sister all lived into their early 80s, but had some degree of Alzheimer -- probably more mild cases and they endured it gracefully. They weren't completely lost, and faced it well. I suspect that had my father and his older sibs lived longer, they would have had Alzheimer's as well.

                I hope I can face either -- both terrible ways to go... but genetically the cards are already dealt.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • MikM Away
                  MikM Away
                  Mik
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  Nice to see you, IT.

                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                  IvorythumperI 89th8 2 Replies Last reply
                  • MikM Mik

                    Nice to see you, IT.

                    IvorythumperI Offline
                    IvorythumperI Offline
                    Ivorythumper
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    @mik said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                    Nice to see you, IT.

                    Thanks, Mik! Nicer people than Liber Faciorum.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • MikM Mik

                      Nice to see you, IT.

                      89th8 Online
                      89th8 Online
                      89th
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      @mik said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                      Nice to see you, IT.

                      Funny... I was just reading his post and thinking "great to read more from IT!"

                      Howdy, friend. We live in Minnesota now... I re-started my TNCR activity in the Spring of 2020 when I was forced to work remotely and had access to public internet forums again! Now I continue to work remotely from Minnesoooooooota.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        IT - IPF is less of a death sentence than it used to be. The plurality of lung transplants I saw at Duke were IPF patients.

                        Before 2005 they mostly died waiting on the list because organ allocation was FIFO and their disease often progressed too quickly. Since then allocation is based on disease severity/life expectancy so they get better priority.

                        "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                        -Cormac McCarthy

                        IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                          IT - IPF is less of a death sentence than it used to be. The plurality of lung transplants I saw at Duke were IPF patients.

                          Before 2005 they mostly died waiting on the list because organ allocation was FIFO and their disease often progressed too quickly. Since then allocation is based on disease severity/life expectancy so they get better priority.

                          IvorythumperI Offline
                          IvorythumperI Offline
                          Ivorythumper
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          @jon-nyc said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                          IT - IPF is less of a death sentence than it used to be. The plurality of lung transplants I saw at Duke were IPF patients.
                          Before 2005 they mostly died waiting on the list because organ allocation was FIFO and their disease often progressed too quickly. Since then allocation is based on disease severity/life expectancy so they get better priority.

                          Yesterday my cousin died from IPF age 69-- he was twins to the cousin who passed away 6 months ag0 (middle of this thread).

                          So now we have a cluster -- my dad, his brother and sister, and the brother's twin sons...

                          I'm going to see a pulmonologist and try to get ahead of this if it happens at all -- autoimmune and pulmonary function testing, check ups every two years, hi res cat scans...

                          From some research by my cousin (sister to the twins), lung transplants have a 3 year waiting list, which is about the life span once IPF is diagnosed... 30,000 per year with a 100,000 waiting list; more available now due to opiod deaths... ugh.

                          What specifically is the medical community saying, other than it's fatal without lung transplant?

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            I’m very sorry to hear about your cousin. Just curious, was he evaluated for transplant?

                            Waitlists vary greatly by geography. Organ availability is the whole reason I went to Duke, when Columbia was 20m from my house. Also different programs have different eligibility requirements. Many won’t touch anyone over 65. Duke transplanted a 76 year old when I was there in 2016, who I believe is still alive.

                            It’s true that IPF patients decline very quickly, and they used to die on the wait list almost as a matter of course when it was run on a first-in, first-out basis. The switch to a life expectancy-based lung allocation score improved their lot substantially, but that obviously didn’t help your cousin.

                            And then the 5.8 year median survival post lung transplant means transplant itself is no panacea.

                            "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                            -Cormac McCarthy

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                              #17

                              By the way, I know a Philly-based pulmonologist on the falculty at Penn that you should see. He was a former board member of the Pulmonary Fibrosis foundation and does a lot of research on IPF including drug trials. I can’t stress enough the difference between good but generalist pulmonologist and a key opinion leader in the specific disease.

                              He’s actually on our (Alpha-1 Foundation’s) Medical and Scientific Advisory Committee, we asked him to join specifically to get the viewpoint of an expert in a different disease added to our group.

                              "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                              -Cormac McCarthy

                              jon-nycJ 1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                                #18

                                When I was at Duke the median (not average) wait was less than a month. That means fully half the people who were listed got their transplant within 30 days.

                                Outliers (such as myself) either had a low lung allocation score (they weren’t as sick as the others), or they had a lot of Human Leukocyte Antigen (HLA) Antibodies, which render many donors an impossible match, or they were very tall and had trouble getting a size match. A combination of those three factors made me wait a year, which was extreme at Duke.

                                "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                -Cormac McCarthy

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                  By the way, I know a Philly-based pulmonologist on the falculty at Penn that you should see. He was a former board member of the Pulmonary Fibrosis foundation and does a lot of research on IPF including drug trials. I can’t stress enough the difference between good but generalist pulmonologist and a key opinion leader in the specific disease.

                                  He’s actually on our (Alpha-1 Foundation’s) Medical and Scientific Advisory Committee, we asked him to join specifically to get the viewpoint of an expert in a different disease added to our group.

                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                                  #19

                                  @jon-nyc said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                                  By the way, I know a Philly-based pulmonologist on the falculty at Penn that you should see. He was a former board member of the Pulmonary Fibrosis foundation and does a lot of research on IPF including drug trials. I can’t stress enough the difference between good but generalist pulmonologist and a key opinion leader in the specific disease.

                                  He’s actually on our (Alpha-1 Foundation’s) Medical and Scientific Advisory Committee, we asked him to join specifically to get the viewpoint of an expert in a different disease added to our group.

                                  His name is Dr Michael F Beers and he runs the Beers Laboratory for Epithelial Cell Biology at U Penn

                                  "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                  -Cormac McCarthy

                                  IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • 89th8 Online
                                    89th8 Online
                                    89th
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #20

                                    His email is mfbeers@

                                    I’m sold.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                      @jon-nyc said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                                      By the way, I know a Philly-based pulmonologist on the falculty at Penn that you should see. He was a former board member of the Pulmonary Fibrosis foundation and does a lot of research on IPF including drug trials. I can’t stress enough the difference between good but generalist pulmonologist and a key opinion leader in the specific disease.

                                      He’s actually on our (Alpha-1 Foundation’s) Medical and Scientific Advisory Committee, we asked him to join specifically to get the viewpoint of an expert in a different disease added to our group.

                                      His name is Dr Michael F Beers and he runs the Beers Laboratory for Epithelial Cell Biology at U Penn

                                      IvorythumperI Offline
                                      IvorythumperI Offline
                                      Ivorythumper
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #21

                                      @jon-nyc said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                                      @jon-nyc said in An awkward visit from a colleague:

                                      By the way, I know a Philly-based pulmonologist on the falculty at Penn that you should see. He was a former board member of the Pulmonary Fibrosis foundation and does a lot of research on IPF including drug trials. I can’t stress enough the difference between good but generalist pulmonologist and a key opinion leader in the specific disease.

                                      He’s actually on our (Alpha-1 Foundation’s) Medical and Scientific Advisory Committee, we asked him to join specifically to get the viewpoint of an expert in a different disease added to our group.

                                      His name is Dr Michael F Beers and he runs the Beers Laboratory for Epithelial Cell Biology at U Penn

                                      Thank you Jon -- we always try to connect with top docs. You're absolutely correct about the difference. I'll contact his office.

                                      As for my cousins, I don't know whether they looked at transplants.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #22

                                        I would assume that no one I know knows more about good lung docs than our @jon-nyc .

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                                          #23

                                          Ha - I’ll be with 10,000 of them in May in San Francisco.

                                          I’m actually speaking at the American Thoracic Society’s convention this year.

                                          "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                          -Cormac McCarthy

                                          George KG brendaB 2 Replies Last reply
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