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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. "I won't make fun of you...."

"I won't make fun of you...."

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  • AxtremusA Offline
    AxtremusA Offline
    Axtremus
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    As insensitive as it reads without further context, I can imagine that being a friendly quip, a sort of inside joke, between two long-time friends after one of them gets cancer sever enough to warrant chemotherapy.

    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
    • AxtremusA Axtremus

      As insensitive as it reads without further context, I can imagine that being a friendly quip, a sort of inside joke, between two long-time friends after one of them gets cancer sever enough to warrant chemotherapy.

      George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      @axtremus said in "I won't make fun of you....":

      can imagine that being a friendly quip, a sort of inside joke, between two long-time friends

      They are not.

      They are employer and employee. They have no social relationship.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • Doctor PhibesD Offline
        Doctor PhibesD Offline
        Doctor Phibes
        wrote on last edited by Doctor Phibes
        #10

        Lawsuit. Get the asshole fired.

        People like this ruin the workplace, in my experience.

        I was only joking

        1 Reply Last reply
        • Doctor PhibesD Offline
          Doctor PhibesD Offline
          Doctor Phibes
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          I worked somewhere, and a woman took an extended time off for skin cancer treatment. When she returned, still showing pretty nasty looking scars my boss said 'You were off for so long, I didn't think you were coming back!'.

          I was only joking

          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
          • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

            I worked somewhere, and a woman took an extended time off for skin cancer treatment. When she returned, still showing pretty nasty looking scars my boss said 'You were off for so long, I didn't think you were coming back!'.

            George KG Offline
            George KG Offline
            George K
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            @doctor-phibes what was the fallout from that?

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
            • George KG George K

              @doctor-phibes what was the fallout from that?

              Doctor PhibesD Offline
              Doctor PhibesD Offline
              Doctor Phibes
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              @george-k said in "I won't make fun of you....":

              @doctor-phibes what was the fallout from that?

              Nothing, other than a very upset employee. The guy was a real shithead. Incidentally, he made my work life a living hell for about 5 years. In retrospect I realise I ended up suffering from depression because of him, and he made numerous people's lives an absolute misery - some people left, one guy had to take time off for clinical depression.

              He'd worked there for decades, and was pretty much untouchable. The worst combination of arrogance and incompetence I've ever come across.

              Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a rant.

              I was only joking

              1 Reply Last reply
              • George KG Offline
                George KG Offline
                George K
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                Screen Shot 2021-01-11 at 7.49.35 PM.png

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                  Doctor PhibesD Offline
                  Doctor Phibes
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  If this is a big company, then they should be able to report him.

                  Of course, their career's likely over if they do that.

                  I was only joking

                  George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                  • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                    If this is a big company, then they should be able to report him.

                    Of course, their career's likely over if they do that.

                    George KG Offline
                    George KG Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    @doctor-phibes said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                    If this is a big company, then they should be able to report him.

                    Of course, their career's likely over if they do that.

                    It's not. Small, small company. Perhaps 10 employees?

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                      Doctor PhibesD Offline
                      Doctor Phibes
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      It's hard to know what to do. If she complains and he isn't fired, it will likely just make her life worse.

                      I was only joking

                      George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                      • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                        It's hard to know what to do. If she complains and he isn't fired, it will likely just make her life worse.

                        George KG Offline
                        George KG Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        @doctor-phibes said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                        he isn't fired,

                        He won't be.

                        His mother owns the company, and he runs it. As I said, small, small outfit.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • AxtremusA Offline
                          AxtremusA Offline
                          Axtremus
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          Ditch this “family run” business and go work for a big corporation with a proper HR department.

                          markM 1 Reply Last reply
                          • AxtremusA Axtremus

                            Ditch this “family run” business and go work for a big corporation with a proper HR department.

                            markM Offline
                            markM Offline
                            mark
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #20

                            @axtremus said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                            Ditch this “family run” business and go work for a big corporation with a proper HR department.

                            Yes, but file a lawsuit.

                            AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
                            • markM mark

                              @axtremus said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                              Ditch this “family run” business and go work for a big corporation with a proper HR department.

                              Yes, but file a lawsuit.

                              AxtremusA Offline
                              AxtremusA Offline
                              Axtremus
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #21

                              @mark said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                              @axtremus said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                              Ditch this “family run” business and go work for a big corporation with a proper HR department.

                              Yes, but file a lawsuit.

                              You can do that, but in many states “small businesses” are exempt from some labor rules so it may be harder to sue successfully.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • JollyJ Offline
                                JollyJ Offline
                                Jolly
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #22

                                If I was a lawyer, I wouldn't hang my hat on this one. Can be interpreted more than one way and demonstrable harm would be hard to prove.

                                “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                                L 1 Reply Last reply
                                • MikM Mik

                                  A good tongue lashing should suffice to put said boss in their place. Stupid remarks should not be the stuff of lawsuits.

                                  Catseye3C Offline
                                  Catseye3C Offline
                                  Catseye3
                                  wrote on last edited by Catseye3
                                  #23

                                  @mik said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                                  Stupid remarks should not be the stuff of lawsuits.

                                  I'm with Mik and also Ax on this. We really can't go crying to the system every time our feelings get hurt.

                                  It's actually kind of snowflakey.

                                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • JollyJ Jolly

                                    If I was a lawyer, I wouldn't hang my hat on this one. Can be interpreted more than one way and demonstrable harm would be hard to prove.

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Loki
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #24

                                    @jolly said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                                    If I was a lawyer, I wouldn't hang my hat on this one. Can be interpreted more than one way and demonstrable harm would be hard to prove.

                                    I believe a pattern of behavior needs to be shown in many types of cases.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                      Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                      Doctor Phibes
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #25

                                      If you're going through chemotherapy, the last thing you need is more stress, such as looking for a new job, or getting into an HR-related battle.

                                      I wouldn't say this is snowflakey - she is going through a ton of shit already. A comment like that wouldn't bother me, but I'm losing my hair already. For some people it would be very upsetting.

                                      The way I would handle it is I'd ask for a meeting with the person who made the comment, and I would point out to them how hurtful the remark was - "I don't know if you realised, but what you said was very hurtful" type of approach. If it re-occurs, then he hasn't got the 'I was only joking' excuse.

                                      I was only joking

                                      L Catseye3C HoraceH 3 Replies Last reply
                                      • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                        If you're going through chemotherapy, the last thing you need is more stress, such as looking for a new job, or getting into an HR-related battle.

                                        I wouldn't say this is snowflakey - she is going through a ton of shit already. A comment like that wouldn't bother me, but I'm losing my hair already. For some people it would be very upsetting.

                                        The way I would handle it is I'd ask for a meeting with the person who made the comment, and I would point out to them how hurtful the remark was - "I don't know if you realised, but what you said was very hurtful" type of approach. If it re-occurs, then he hasn't got the 'I was only joking' excuse.

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Loki
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #26

                                        @doctor-phibes said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                                        If you're going through chemotherapy, the last thing you need is more stress, such as looking for a new job, or getting into an HR-related battle.

                                        I wouldn't say this is snowflakey - she is going through a ton of shit already. A comment like that wouldn't bother me, but I'm losing my hair already. For some people it would be very upsetting.

                                        The way I would handle it is I'd ask for a meeting with the person who made the comment, and I would point out to them how hurtful the remark was - "I don't know if you realised, but what you said was very hurtful" type of approach. If it re-occurs, then he hasn't got the 'I was only joking' excuse.

                                        Perfect.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                          If you're going through chemotherapy, the last thing you need is more stress, such as looking for a new job, or getting into an HR-related battle.

                                          I wouldn't say this is snowflakey - she is going through a ton of shit already. A comment like that wouldn't bother me, but I'm losing my hair already. For some people it would be very upsetting.

                                          The way I would handle it is I'd ask for a meeting with the person who made the comment, and I would point out to them how hurtful the remark was - "I don't know if you realised, but what you said was very hurtful" type of approach. If it re-occurs, then he hasn't got the 'I was only joking' excuse.

                                          Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #27

                                          @doctor-phibes said in "I won't make fun of you....":

                                          I would point out to them how hurtful the remark was - "I don't know if you realised, but what you said was very hurtful" type of approach. If it re-occurs, then he hasn't got the 'I was only joking' excuse.

                                          Yeah, okay. Then as an end note, go upside his head with a stapler.

                                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

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