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The New Coffee Room

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  3. So how should I resign?

So how should I resign?

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  • brendaB brenda

    I can't believe I missed this thread while I was gone.

    Good letter! Jolly nailed it with his suggestions.

    Yes, I see you added some of your personal style to it as well. Take satisfaction in that. ๐Ÿ˜†

    Keep us posted on the response.

    If you decide to take cupcakes, remember, no Ex-Lax.

    JollyJ Offline
    JollyJ Offline
    Jolly
    wrote on last edited by
    #47

    @brenda said in So how should I resign?:

    I can't believe I missed this thread while I was gone.

    Good letter! Jolly nailed it with his suggestions.

    Yes, I see you added some of your personal style to it as well. Take satisfaction in that. ๐Ÿ˜†

    Keep us posted on the response.

    If you decide to take cupcakes, remember, no Ex-Lax.

    Correct. Use marijuana...

    โ€œCry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!โ€

    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terroristsโ€™ "due process". โ€” Buck Sexton

    1 Reply Last reply
    • LuFins DadL Offline
      LuFins DadL Offline
      LuFins Dad
      wrote on last edited by LuFins Dad
      #48

      Damn! I missed it too! Can you please give me notice next time? Keep us in the loop!

      How did it go? Evil boss lady get the message? Anybody reach out? Damn, this is big news!

      The Brad

      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
      • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

        Damn! I missed it too! Can you please give me notice next time? Keep us in the loop!

        How did it go? Evil boss lady get the message? Anybody reach out? Damn, this is big news!

        Aqua LetiferA Offline
        Aqua LetiferA Offline
        Aqua Letifer
        wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
        #49

        @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

        Damn! I missed it too! Can you please give me notice next time? Keep us in the loop!

        How did it go? Evil boss lady get the message? Anybody reach out? Damn, this is big news!

        Holding pattern for now. Reached out to the CEO's EA (see other thread), told her I wanted to speak to the CEO about resigning. My boss suggested I try to do this before I really pull the trigger. She spoke with him, and apparently he's going to try to speak to me on Tuesday. I'll believe that shit when I see it, we've been trying to contact him for 6 months about the department head. Never a response.

        EA's trying to get upper management to meet to provide a leadership review of the department head. And my boss is apparently going to mention in his management meeting on Tuesday that if nothing is done about, uh, "present difficulties," here's a list of projects that are going to grind to a halt. (The ones he and I work on.)

        They're apparently going to bat for me. And other managers have a huge problem with the department head, too. So I promised I'd see how all that goes. If no change by Friday, I submit Jolly's letter.

        Two interesting updates:

        • Like an abusive spouse, the dept head hates when we speak to anyone within the organization except her. She wants to isolate us from the rest of our co-workers as a controlling measure. Why? Well, remember when I mentioned that she made up some shit about other managers having a problem with me? She just this past Friday told one of them that we as an entire team have a serious problem with one of his employees and her personality. Isn't that interesting? What a fucking psycho. We set that manager straight, told him it wasn't true. He's so pissed he cancelled his meetings with her.
        • She was very nice to us on Friday. She actually told me I made a proper decision about a project. She never says anything like this, or anything close. My boss thinks someone reached out to her to tell her to knock it off. She acted so strangely that I think it's very possible.

        Either way, I don't give a fuck. "Things seem to be improving" isn't fucking good enough. I know damn well I'll be layoff #3 and she's going to try her best to make it nasty. Some definitive steps have to be taken next week or I walk.

        Please love yourself.

        LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
        • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

          @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

          Damn! I missed it too! Can you please give me notice next time? Keep us in the loop!

          How did it go? Evil boss lady get the message? Anybody reach out? Damn, this is big news!

          Holding pattern for now. Reached out to the CEO's EA (see other thread), told her I wanted to speak to the CEO about resigning. My boss suggested I try to do this before I really pull the trigger. She spoke with him, and apparently he's going to try to speak to me on Tuesday. I'll believe that shit when I see it, we've been trying to contact him for 6 months about the department head. Never a response.

          EA's trying to get upper management to meet to provide a leadership review of the department head. And my boss is apparently going to mention in his management meeting on Tuesday that if nothing is done about, uh, "present difficulties," here's a list of projects that are going to grind to a halt. (The ones he and I work on.)

          They're apparently going to bat for me. And other managers have a huge problem with the department head, too. So I promised I'd see how all that goes. If no change by Friday, I submit Jolly's letter.

          Two interesting updates:

          • Like an abusive spouse, the dept head hates when we speak to anyone within the organization except her. She wants to isolate us from the rest of our co-workers as a controlling measure. Why? Well, remember when I mentioned that she made up some shit about other managers having a problem with me? She just this past Friday told one of them that we as an entire team have a serious problem with one of his employees and her personality. Isn't that interesting? What a fucking psycho. We set that manager straight, told him it wasn't true. He's so pissed he cancelled his meetings with her.
          • She was very nice to us on Friday. She actually told me I made a proper decision about a project. She never says anything like this, or anything close. My boss thinks someone reached out to her to tell her to knock it off. She acted so strangely that I think it's very possible.

          Either way, I don't give a fuck. "Things seem to be improving" isn't fucking good enough. I know damn well I'll be layoff #3 and she's going to try her best to make it nasty. Some definitive steps have to be taken next week or I walk.

          LuFins DadL Offline
          LuFins DadL Offline
          LuFins Dad
          wrote on last edited by
          #50

          @Aqua-Letifer good news, but if you missed my message, they will miss yours!

          The Brad

          Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
          • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

            @Aqua-Letifer good news, but if you missed my message, they will miss yours!

            Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua Letifer
            wrote on last edited by
            #51

            @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

            @Aqua-Letifer good news, but if you missed my message, they will miss yours!

            ๐Ÿ˜† Indeed. And that's okay. You all are keeping me out of trouble. My original draft was very different in tone and message.

            Please love yourself.

            George KG 1 Reply Last reply
            • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

              @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

              @Aqua-Letifer good news, but if you missed my message, they will miss yours!

              ๐Ÿ˜† Indeed. And that's okay. You all are keeping me out of trouble. My original draft was very different in tone and message.

              George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #52

              @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

              You all are keeping me out of trouble

              Because that's worked out so well in the past, LOL.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins Dad
                wrote on last edited by
                #53

                You know what? Iโ€™m going to to go the opposite of everybody else. Leave on your terms. But.... Donโ€™t screw over your friends still there, and make sure the object of your scorn is appropriately targeted and identified.

                The Brad

                1 Reply Last reply
                • Aqua LetiferA Offline
                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                  Aqua Letifer
                  wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                  #54

                  Sweet God. This place...

                  We have two offices, actually. This past Wednesday, the CEO cancelled the lease of office 2, and told someone who told someone who told someone that if you currently work in office 2, you've got to move your stuff out by Friday. Two days. You don't show up by then, you lose your shit. That's how much warning they received.

                  Some of these folks were on vacation and couldn't even round up everything in their offices; they had to ask their co-workers to do it for them. No help moving from the company.

                  One of these folks was on a leadership Skype call today. She was on the verge of tears and kept saying, "I love my job, I love my job, I don't have any complaints about my job."

                  A VP outside of the departments affected by the move started asking questions and was actually shushed by a finance crony. No manager or anything like that. Just straightup interrupted him: "this is not the time for that, we need to keep this positive?"

                  "I'm asking if there was anything set in place so that these people still have--"

                  "Now is not the time for this, we need to keep it positive. We're moving on."

                  Absolutely crazy motherfuckers.

                  I might not make it until Friday.

                  Please love yourself.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins Dad
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #55

                    This changes things drastically! Donโ€™t resign! Now you have to stay to help lead La Resistance! You can recruit and build a movement!

                    The Brad

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • MikM Offline
                      MikM Offline
                      Mik
                      wrote on last edited by Mik
                      #56

                      Somebody finally wised them up to how much they could save by closing the office space. Finally.

                      Aqua, I still maintain they will not fire you. They are more likely to fire your nemesis.

                      โ€œI am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.โ€ ~Winston S. Churchill

                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                      • MikM Mik

                        Somebody finally wised them up to how much they could save by closing the office space. Finally.

                        Aqua, I still maintain they will not fire you. They are more likely to fire your nemesis.

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Loki
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #57

                        @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                        Somebody finally wised them up to how much they could save by closing the office space. Finally.

                        Aqua, I still maintain they will not fire you. They are more likely to fire your nemesis.

                        I have the same exact read.

                        Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                        • L Loki

                          @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                          Somebody finally wised them up to how much they could save by closing the office space. Finally.

                          Aqua, I still maintain they will not fire you. They are more likely to fire your nemesis.

                          I have the same exact read.

                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                          Aqua Letifer
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #58

                          @Loki said in So how should I resign?:

                          @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                          Somebody finally wised them up to how much they could save by closing the office space. Finally.

                          Aqua, I still maintain they will not fire you. They are more likely to fire your nemesis.

                          I have the same exact read.

                          How long you think it'll take, then?

                          It's a stress issue at this point. As you all are more aware than any other group alive, I'm not good at holding my tongue. Not because I'm some kind of badass or malcontent, I just hate bullshit and it's very tiring and stressful to say shit you don't mean. I'm sick and tired of keeping this shit up.

                          My resting heart rate went down by 10 damn points on Friday, stayed down, and now it's up by 12. Blood pressure went from hypertension, to normal, back to hypertension. This shit is not good for me. I don't want to stick it out on a "maybe."

                          Please love yourself.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • MikM Offline
                            MikM Offline
                            Mik
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #59

                            What stress are you trading for by resigning?

                            Everything is a tradeoff. Perhaps you need to focus on being a bit more zen about these things - y'know, changing the things I can (how you respond), accepting the things I can't (what these assholes will do next).

                            There will never be a shortage of these peope in your life until you have great financial security.

                            That said, I have never been able to tolerate bullies in my life. That may be why in so many organizations that was the first person I chose to pick a fight with. ๐Ÿ˜†

                            โ€œI am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.โ€ ~Winston S. Churchill

                            Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                            • MikM Mik

                              What stress are you trading for by resigning?

                              Everything is a tradeoff. Perhaps you need to focus on being a bit more zen about these things - y'know, changing the things I can (how you respond), accepting the things I can't (what these assholes will do next).

                              There will never be a shortage of these peope in your life until you have great financial security.

                              That said, I have never been able to tolerate bullies in my life. That may be why in so many organizations that was the first person I chose to pick a fight with. ๐Ÿ˜†

                              Aqua LetiferA Offline
                              Aqua LetiferA Offline
                              Aqua Letifer
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #60

                              @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                              That said, I have never been able to tolerate bullies in my life. That may be why in so many organizations that was the first person I chose to pick a fight with.

                              I do that, too, but it just naturally happens, I don't look for it. I don't hold high-status positions, though, so my thing usually is that things either get worked out or I have to walk.

                              As for other stress, I'd gladly take it. I can make it a year with things being as they are now. That gives me a year to find something better. I have to think I can figure something out in that time.

                              Please love yourself.

                              LuFins DadL JollyJ 2 Replies Last reply
                              • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                That said, I have never been able to tolerate bullies in my life. That may be why in so many organizations that was the first person I chose to pick a fight with.

                                I do that, too, but it just naturally happens, I don't look for it. I don't hold high-status positions, though, so my thing usually is that things either get worked out or I have to walk.

                                As for other stress, I'd gladly take it. I can make it a year with things being as they are now. That gives me a year to find something better. I have to think I can figure something out in that time.

                                LuFins DadL Offline
                                LuFins DadL Offline
                                LuFins Dad
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #61

                                @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                                @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                That said, I have never been able to tolerate bullies in my life. That may be why in so many organizations that was the first person I chose to pick a fight with.

                                I do that, too, but it just naturally happens, I don't look for it. I don't hold high-status positions, though, so my thing usually is that things either get worked out or I have to walk.

                                As for other stress, I'd gladly take it. I can make it a year with things being as they are now. That gives me a year to find something better. I have to think I can figure something out in that time.

                                So remove the stress. That doesnโ€™t mean resign, that just means go ahead and stop giving a flying you know what. Embrace the freedom of being willing and able to walk away and start enjoying yourself. If they fire you, yay! If they donโ€™t, then yay! These people no longer have any power over you. Knowing that, do what you feel you need to short of going to jail or screwing over your coworkers that may not be as fortunate.

                                The Brad

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua Letifer
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #62

                                  I dunno. It's not as simple as that, especially if they try to hit me with gross incompetence. Which, sure as shit, this woman is going to try very hard to do.

                                  Then there's the time it takes to do the shitty work I'm asked to do. When people who have no idea what they're doing direct your work, at the end of the day, you've nothing to be proud of and your career stagnates.

                                  EA speaks with CEO Thursday. Let's see what happens.

                                  Please love yourself.

                                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                    I dunno. It's not as simple as that, especially if they try to hit me with gross incompetence. Which, sure as shit, this woman is going to try very hard to do.

                                    Then there's the time it takes to do the shitty work I'm asked to do. When people who have no idea what they're doing direct your work, at the end of the day, you've nothing to be proud of and your career stagnates.

                                    EA speaks with CEO Thursday. Let's see what happens.

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Loki
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #63

                                    @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                                    I dunno. It's not as simple as that, especially if they try to hit me with gross incompetence. Which, sure as shit, this woman is going to try very hard to do.

                                    Then there's the time it takes to do the shitty work I'm asked to do. When people who have no idea what they're doing direct your work, at the end of the day, you've nothing to be proud of and your career stagnates.

                                    EA speaks with CEO Thursday. Let's see what happens.

                                    You are clearly talking this out which is great. I think writing down what is causing the stress line by line and then ranking them might help. For example the gross incompetence letter might be the highest. Being pissed off in general how stupid people are may be something you can reframe. Clearly working there long term is no good but ideally you would like to time it so that you are have the most/best options when you walk out.

                                    Exercise is always the best alleviation.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • AxtremusA Offline
                                      AxtremusA Offline
                                      Axtremus
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #64

                                      In a parallel universe, another resignation ...

                                      https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2020/09/08/facebook-employee-quit-racism/

                                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • AxtremusA Axtremus

                                        In a parallel universe, another resignation ...

                                        https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2020/09/08/facebook-employee-quit-racism/

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Loki
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #65

                                        @Axtremus said in So how should I resign?:

                                        In a parallel universe, another resignation ...

                                        https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2020/09/08/facebook-employee-quit-racism/

                                        He took down his twitter page. I guess we donโ€™t get to see his background, but enough is still out there to see his activism over the years. He has a right to his opinions and his resignation seems consistent.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • LuFins DadL Offline
                                          LuFins DadL Offline
                                          LuFins Dad
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #66

                                          Can we take the FB thing to another thread? Yeah, I get that threads go in different directions and all, but this is a serious thread where a member is going through serious issues at work and is asking for and receiving advice. This isnโ€™t the place to change topics to some refugee from the Island of Misfit Toys needing a new home.

                                          The Brad

                                          JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
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