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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. Are you "at home"?

Are you "at home"?

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  • George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by George K
    #11

    I've lived in the same town since 1980. This is "home" and probably more than the town I grew up in (though I was only there for 12 years).

    Mrs. George and I traveled north of the Cheddar Curtain yesterday. Upon returning to our town, we both commented on how nice it was to be "home."

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • KlausK Klaus

      The place/village/city where you live - do you feel that that is where you belong? That this is your home?

      Or it is fungible and you wouldn't mind much if you'd live elsewhere?

      Aqua LetiferA Offline
      Aqua LetiferA Offline
      Aqua Letifer
      wrote on last edited by
      #12

      @Klaus said in Are you "at home"?:

      The place/village/city where you live - do you feel that that is where you belong? That this is your home?

      Or it is fungible and you wouldn't mind much if you'd live elsewhere?

      That was a big difference when we moved around 2020. Where we used to live housed our crap—that was it. Where we live now is not just a home but a neighborhood and a community. It's something I notice very strongly every time I'm driving back.

      Then again, we looked around for a place just like this specifically for that reason.

      Please love yourself.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • AxtremusA Away
        AxtremusA Away
        Axtremus
        wrote on last edited by
        #13

        I am pretty comfortable with where I live now, but I also won't mind moving. After all, I was pretty comfortable with I lived before moving here, and before the last move, and the one before that too. :man-shrugging:

        1 Reply Last reply
        • Tom-KT Offline
          Tom-KT Offline
          Tom-K
          wrote on last edited by
          #14

          What a great question.

          I grew up in Conneticut and would like to feel it's my home but it has changed so much. My real home is NYC. I lived in Greenwich Village, the Upper West Side and then Central Park South. I walked around Manhattan a lot and saw some interesting things (e.g. there's a small graveyard near the Bowery with a headstone of a guy named Preserved Fish,) and also drove around the other burroughs quite a bit too. I am something of a Flaneur.

          I left NYC a while ago, and I'm glad I left. Florida is where I live now and I like it, but it's not my home.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • George KG Offline
            George KG Offline
            George K
            wrote on last edited by George K
            #15

            I would describe our town as upper-middle class. At least I think it is.

            $120K median household income.
            $422K median home value
            $61% college educated.

            There's so much that's wonderful about it.

            Designed by a world-class landscape architect
            A remarkable diversity of home styles
            12 miles from downtown Chicago.
            A "Village in the Forest."

            There are many towns in my area that have better (?) demographics, nicer (?) homes. Few, however, have the charm of mine. If I had gotten bored with it, I would have moved. I didn't.

            In the vast suburbia that is Chicago, it's unique.


            ETA Where I've lived:

            1. Brooklyn (to age 5)
            2. Suburban Chicago town #1
            3. Downtown Chicago - Gold Coast
            4. Lincoln Park Chicago
            5. My current town.

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
            • George KG George K

              I would describe our town as upper-middle class. At least I think it is.

              $120K median household income.
              $422K median home value
              $61% college educated.

              There's so much that's wonderful about it.

              Designed by a world-class landscape architect
              A remarkable diversity of home styles
              12 miles from downtown Chicago.
              A "Village in the Forest."

              There are many towns in my area that have better (?) demographics, nicer (?) homes. Few, however, have the charm of mine. If I had gotten bored with it, I would have moved. I didn't.

              In the vast suburbia that is Chicago, it's unique.


              ETA Where I've lived:

              1. Brooklyn (to age 5)
              2. Suburban Chicago town #1
              3. Downtown Chicago - Gold Coast
              4. Lincoln Park Chicago
              5. My current town.
              Aqua LetiferA Offline
              Aqua LetiferA Offline
              Aqua Letifer
              wrote on last edited by
              #16

              @George-K said in Are you "at home"?:

              A "Village in the Forest."

              Villa Silvanus? I think that's what you said they referred to it as, back in the day.

              Please love yourself.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • KlausK Klaus

                @Horace said in Are you "at home"?:

                It takes about a month of living in a place before it feels like home for me.

                That's extremely quickly, but maybe we have a different understanding of "home".

                I mean not merely being used to a new place, getting used to the house/apartment, where the local supermarket is etc.

                I mean something deeper. In German, there's the word "Heimat", which does not seem to have an adequate translation.
                It means something like: Feeling welcomed by the place and its people, feeling safe, feeling that one "belongs" there and nowhere else.
                It may involve having many good local friends and/or having a special connection to the landscape/nature/... .

                Edit: I just see that there's even a Wikipedia page for the word "Heimat".

                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #17

                @Klaus said in Are you "at home"?:

                I mean not merely being used to a new place, getting used to the house/apartment, where the local supermarket is etc.

                I mean something deeper. In German, there's the word "Heimat", which does not seem to have an adequate translation.
                It means something like: Feeling welcomed by the place and its people, feeling safe, feeling that one "belongs" there and nowhere else.
                It may involve having many good local friends and/or having a special connection to the landscape/nature/... .

                I would say I’ve never felt that. So for me it really is about getting comfortable with the new environment

                I was born in Texas, a place where my family wasn’t ‘from’. We moved to Ohio for 7 years then Florida for 5 then upstate NY for 4 then 4 years of college in Indiana. Then I got my first real job in Chicago and really started traveling.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • taiwan_girlT Offline
                  taiwan_girlT Offline
                  taiwan_girl
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #18

                  I think I feel most at "home" back in Taiwan.

                  I think because of this:

                  Feeling welcomed by the place and its people, feeling safe, feeling that one "belongs" there and nowhere else.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins Dad
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #19

                    I still have a very strong emotional affiliation with South West PA. It’s where I was born, grew up, and a decent chance it’s where I’ll die. I like where I live now, and it is very much my current home, but I am still a ‘burgher.

                    The Brad

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • 89th8 Offline
                      89th8 Offline
                      89th
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #20

                      Emotional affiliation is a good way to put it @LuFins-Dad . Yes I feel at home now in Minnesota but it also helps that I expect to live here for the next 30+ years, raising my kids, retiring, etc.

                      I do have an emotional affiliation for where I spent the first 20 years of my life (in Annandale, Virginia), probably because we also didn't move around growing up so all my childhood memories are exploring the same streets, yards, and creeks. That being said, I'd probably feel MORE of an attachment to my childhood neighborhood if it was the same... but it has changed. In the 80s and 90s it was a community... the parades, the little league, the stores didn't change often, everyone spoke English, but now if I go back things are more crowded, run down a bit, and the majority of store signs are in a different language (mostly Korean).

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • kluursK Offline
                        kluursK Offline
                        kluurs
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #21

                        I feel pretty glued down to our home. It's an art gallery, music studio, library, greenhouse... It's challenging to consider moving. Heck, just to rearrange the pictures on the wall would be a nightmare. On the other hand, our house is 2 stories with the only full bath on the second floor. It means a lot of stair climbing which is fine right now, but it may not always be so friendly a concept.

                        When we take a trip, I'm always happy to return to home. It is comfort that envelops us.

                        JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
                        • kluursK kluurs

                          I feel pretty glued down to our home. It's an art gallery, music studio, library, greenhouse... It's challenging to consider moving. Heck, just to rearrange the pictures on the wall would be a nightmare. On the other hand, our house is 2 stories with the only full bath on the second floor. It means a lot of stair climbing which is fine right now, but it may not always be so friendly a concept.

                          When we take a trip, I'm always happy to return to home. It is comfort that envelops us.

                          JollyJ Offline
                          JollyJ Offline
                          Jolly
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #22

                          @kluurs said in Are you "at home"?:

                          I feel pretty glued down to our home. It's an art gallery, music studio, library, greenhouse... It's challenging to consider moving. Heck, just to rearrange the pictures on the wall would be a nightmare. On the other hand, our house is 2 stories with the only full bath on the second floor. It means a lot of stair climbing which is fine right now, but it may not always be so friendly a concept.

                          When we take a trip, I'm always happy to return to home. It is comfort that envelops us.

                          I have a friend who is a contractor. He won't build a two-story without one bedroom and a full bath on the bottom floor.

                          He also won't build a home of any type without 36" bathroom doors.

                          “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                          Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

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