The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being
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We do have an obsession with that, the most detrimental being kids should never encounter negative emotions. Hence they never learn how to deal with them or develop resilience.
"The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil
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@Jolly said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
But who will keep the children safe?
Give them guns so they can protect themselves and be polite too.
Also learn from the parents in Latin and South America who let their children travel to the USA unaccompanied -- Child Independent Mobility (CIM) exemplified!
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https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lkJQjywJ0wZT9-io-hY9IcY9KkTCrTJY/view?pli=1
Those of us old enough to have been children in the 1970s or earlier know from experience that children then had far more freedom to roam, play, and engage in various activities independently of adults than do children today. Research has confirmed that our memories are not distorted. For example, Rutherford analyzed hundreds of articles and advice columns about childrearing that appeared in popular magazines from the early 20th century onward.' She found that earlier articles portrayed a world in which children spent much time with other children away from adults, walked or biked to school alone or with friends from as young as age 5 years, contributed meaningfully through chores to the household econ-omy, and by age 11 or 12 years often had part-time jobs, such as babysitting and paper routes, performed without direct adult oversight. Over time, however, beginning in the 1960s and accelerating in the 1980s, the implicit understanding shifted from that of children as competent, respon-sible, and resilient to the opposite, as advice focused increasingly on children's needs for supervision and protec-tion.'
" Rutherford noted, as have other reviewers, that in some respects-such as freedom to choose what they wear or eat—children have gained autonomy over the decades.
What has declined specifically is children's freedom to engage in activities that involve some degree of risk and personal responsibility away from adults.Implications for Pediatric Practice
All in all, the evidence convinces us that the decline in children's independent activity and, hence, in mental wellbeing is a national and international health crisis and should be treated as such. Unlike other crises, such as the coronavirus disease 2019 epidemic, it has crept up on us gradually, over decades, so many have barely noticed it. Some young parents are unaware that 5 or 6 decades ago, when their own parents were children, those as young as 5 or 6 years were largely free to explore and play away from direct adult oversight, and children and teens suffered far less than they do today from anxiety and depression. Moreover, unlike other health crises, this one is not the result of a malignant virus or unsanitary conditions but is the result of good intentions carried too far—intentions to protect children and provide what many believed to be better (interpreted as more) schooling, both in and out of actual schools.
Parents today are regularly subject to messages about the dangers that might befall unsupervised children and the value of high achievement in school.? However, they hear little of the countervailing messages that if children are to grow up well-adjusted, they need ever-increasing opportunities for independent activity, including self-directed play and meaningful contributions to family and community life, which are signs that they are trusted, responsible, and capable.
They need to feel they can deal effectively with the real world, not just the world of school. Even parents who recognize that their children are capable of and would benefit from more in-dependence, and would not be seriously endangered, are often reluctant to allow it because of realistic fears that they might be accused of negligence by neighbors or, worse, by police and child protective services!'@George-K said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
walked or biked to school alone or with friends from as young as age 5 years,
I walked 6 blocks to school, with other kindergarten students, starting a few weeks before my 5th birthday.
by age 11 or 12 years often had part-time jobs, such as babysitting and paper routes
I had a paper route at age 12.
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I walked to school during the first couple months of kindergarten, but after that we moved to the country and I rode the bus. Buddy, if you weren't resilient you would not survive the bus.
Hell, when I was 4 we moved to a new neighborhood. My mom sent me out by myself to find friends. I didn't find any of them, but I found the elderly sisters next door and they had COOKIES!!!
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Give children guns? Of course! Think I'm going to buy my seven year-old grandkids their first one for Christmas.
“Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”
Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton
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Sometimes, safety takes a backseat.
Extreme example...Before and during WW2, the German Army turned out some very good troops. They also had a pretty high death rate in training. Even the U.S. lost thousands of men in the AAC, due to traing accidents.
Those examples are extreme. But for a child to grow up with some self-sufficiency and self confidence, they are going to pick up scrapes, cuts, bruises and even the occasional broken bone, because they will sometimes try to do things beyond their capability. That's ok...Sometimes we learn as much from failure as success.
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Sometimes, safety takes a backseat.
Extreme example...Before and during WW2, the German Army turned out some very good troops. They also had a pretty high death rate in training. Even the U.S. lost thousands of men in the AAC, due to traing accidents.
Those examples are extreme. But for a child to grow up with some self-sufficiency and self confidence, they are going to pick up scrapes, cuts, bruises and even the occasional broken bone, because they will sometimes try to do things beyond their capability. That's ok...Sometimes we learn as much from failure as success.
@Jolly said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
Sometimes we learn as much from failure as success.
100% agree.
Someone told me the same thing in slightly different words,
"You cant learn to succeed until you learn to fail"
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How many people were killed in cold blood and had their parents dance on their graves singing hallelujah?
Because that certainly never did me any harm. In fact, it toughened me up for the life I now lead as a professional assassin and pole dancer.
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I had the same independence that others have mentioned.
But what I remember most is in Boy Scouts, when camping in the Oregon wilderness every month, and 10 days each summer in the Jefferson wilderness or Three Sisters wilderness, to go off by myself, away from all the guys and parents, and sit and watch the view. It was so cool, to sit, as a boy, and watch a huge Pacific storm roll through the valley below, and feel and think, or walking alone on snow shoes, skiing at night away from everyone, or staring at the Pacific Ocean so many times. I'm not sure what effect that has on a kid, but I remember those scenes in my mind even now, sitting and watching nature all by myself, and being in awe, instead of someone around me or with me, telling me I should be awestruck. -
Give children guns? Of course! Think I'm going to buy my seven year-old grandkids their first one for Christmas.
@Jolly said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
Give children guns? Of course! Think I'm going to buy my seven year-old grandkids their first one for Christmas.
I often think about how kids generations ago were given responsibilities, whether it be with a gun, or with farm duties, at very very young ages. Sometimes you see pictures of kids with guns defending their house during the Civil War. Still exists, I suppose... I have family that lives on 100 acres in Wisconsin, and their kid (now
has been living the country life, in a good way. Using a screwdriver when he was 2, picking up chickens, driving farm vehicles (when he can reach the pedals), etc. -
I had the same independence that others have mentioned.
But what I remember most is in Boy Scouts, when camping in the Oregon wilderness every month, and 10 days each summer in the Jefferson wilderness or Three Sisters wilderness, to go off by myself, away from all the guys and parents, and sit and watch the view. It was so cool, to sit, as a boy, and watch a huge Pacific storm roll through the valley below, and feel and think, or walking alone on snow shoes, skiing at night away from everyone, or staring at the Pacific Ocean so many times. I'm not sure what effect that has on a kid, but I remember those scenes in my mind even now, sitting and watching nature all by myself, and being in awe, instead of someone around me or with me, telling me I should be awestruck.@Rainman said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
I had the same independence that others have mentioned.
But what I remember most is in Boy Scouts, when camping in the Oregon wilderness every month, and 10 days each summer in the Jefferson wilderness or Three Sisters wilderness, to go off by myself, away from all the guys and parents, and sit and watch the view. It was so cool, to sit, as a boy, and watch a huge Pacific storm roll through the valley below, and feel and think, or walking alone on snow shoes, skiing at night away from everyone, or staring at the Pacific Ocean so many times. I'm not sure what effect that has on a kid, but I remember those scenes in my mind even now, sitting and watching nature all by myself, and being in awe, instead of someone around me or with me, telling me I should be awestruck.That is great. I think it depends on the person. I'm very much satisfied if I do something solo, whether it's hike, or golf, or go to the movies. I'm glad you had those experiences, it inspires me as a parent to provide such opportunities for my kids.
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We do have an obsession with that, the most detrimental being kids should never encounter negative emotions. Hence they never learn how to deal with them or develop resilience.
@Mik said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
We do have an obsession with that, the most detrimental being kids should never encounter negative emotions. Hence they never learn how to deal with them or develop resilience.
Agreed. As a new-ish parent, it is VERY easy to just give in to a kids' tantrum when they didn't get the spoon they wanted, or the food they wanted for lunch. Or if they get pushed at the playground. Gotta let them realize there are times where they'll be mad. Heck, my daughter learned a phrase from her teacher at school, "you get what you get and you don't get upset", LOL.
I'm not perfect, but when I take the kids out I give them what I call in my mind, a very long leash. Sometimes when they're climbing something up high at the playground, or walking a few aisles away at the store, it's amusing a bit to see other parents look around like "where is this kid's parent??" Let them be a kid. As Jordan Peterson says, let your kids do dangerous things carefully."
Link to video -
@Jolly said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
Give children guns? Of course! Think I'm going to buy my seven year-old grandkids their first one for Christmas.
I often think about how kids generations ago were given responsibilities, whether it be with a gun, or with farm duties, at very very young ages. Sometimes you see pictures of kids with guns defending their house during the Civil War. Still exists, I suppose... I have family that lives on 100 acres in Wisconsin, and their kid (now
has been living the country life, in a good way. Using a screwdriver when he was 2, picking up chickens, driving farm vehicles (when he can reach the pedals), etc.@89th said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
@Jolly said in The Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being:
Give children guns? Of course! Think I'm going to buy my seven year-old grandkids their first one for Christmas.
I often think about how kids generations ago were given responsibilities, whether it be with a gun, or with farm duties, at very very young ages. Sometimes you see pictures of kids with guns defending their house during the Civil War. Still exists, I suppose... I have family that lives on 100 acres in Wisconsin, and their kid (now
has been living the country life, in a good way. Using a screwdriver when he was 2, picking up chickens, driving farm vehicles (when he can reach the pedals), etc.It can be dangerous on a farm, but it's a great learning experience. Just speaking generally, I think farm kids know a lot more, a lot earlier, when it comes to responsibility, good work ethic, life, death and nature.
