Going to war with the school's car dropoff
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So, we drop the kiddo off at school, she doesn't take the bus. She will eventually, but she's just barely at the cutoff age to be in kindergarten. She's much younger than a lot of the other kids in her class, and she gets distracted much more easily than most. We've decided to help her get the school routine down by dropping her off in the morning.
How it works is that there are three lanes for dropoff kids. At the appointed time, one lane of kids leaves their cars, finds the center crosswalk and walks into school from there. Now, there are teachers scattered about here and there apparently to assist the kids, but they do no such fucking thing. We have to more or less walk our kid into school because she doesn't understand school yet (it's day 3 for fuck's sake) and doesn't always want to leave. And then we're bitched at by the teachers for leaving our cars. They care about keeping the cars going, not getting the kids in. Most kids can handle this, but some of 'em stray and the only people around to correct them are 8-year-olds walking in themselves.
It's all a little haphazard and it's a mess, but okay, we're making it work.
Today, though, there was a serious fucking problem. Beside us, there were these two kids driven in by their grandmother. One of the kids seems to be pretty heavily autistic. He was freaking out about the whole thing and didn't want to leave. The closest teacher went over not to help but to yell at the grandmother for not getting the kids out of the car fast enough. When the teacher saw what was going on, she genuinely tried to help, but her version of that was to grab the kid's arm and pull him towards the crosswalk. It freaked the kid out something awful and he shut the fuck down. The grandmother then said fuck it and got the kid back in the car. He went home with his grandmother.
This crosses my fucked up threshold. The kid was denied an education today. What should I do, though? I'm new to the public school game on the parent side of things and it's not even my child. The vast majority of the kids are of course old enough and competent enough to get the procedure, but for some this shit ain't workin' out.
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First, congrats to a kindergarten start. I'm in the same boat, my oldest (5) started two days ago as well. Our district held an event over the summer for kindergarteners to practice riding the bus (in the high school parking lot) so I think that helped. My daughter did say it was weird there weren't any seatbelts and that the bus goes "fast".
Anyway, I say that because:
- Yeah, fuck that process. Sorry you're dealing with it and the rush of teachers trying to move cars along.
- Maybe write to the school to see if they can hold a "bus riding practice" event one weekend?
- Another idea, write to the school to see if they'd be open to a "special drop off area" for parents who know they'll need more time getting their kid out of the car and into the school.
Just some ideas. How's the kid liking their class and teacher?
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Somewhat of a conundrum. It would seem the core issue is too many parents dropping off.
Is there a neighborhood friend on the bus where she might follow their lead? You might find the bus is the best answer.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill
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I think this is an issue that resolves itself with time. The teachers on drop off will learn to recognize the special needs kids when they arrive, and very well might get a special needs teacher to be on hand at drop off and will be better prepared to handle it.
And since the kid’s autistic, will decide the true problem is Gender Identity and get to work on fixing the kid.
The Brad
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First, congrats to a kindergarten start. I'm in the same boat, my oldest (5) started two days ago as well. Our district held an event over the summer for kindergarteners to practice riding the bus (in the high school parking lot) so I think that helped. My daughter did say it was weird there weren't any seatbelts and that the bus goes "fast".
Anyway, I say that because:
- Yeah, fuck that process. Sorry you're dealing with it and the rush of teachers trying to move cars along.
- Maybe write to the school to see if they can hold a "bus riding practice" event one weekend?
- Another idea, write to the school to see if they'd be open to a "special drop off area" for parents who know they'll need more time getting their kid out of the car and into the school.
Just some ideas. How's the kid liking their class and teacher?
@89th said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
First, congrats to a kindergarten start. I'm in the same boat, my oldest (5) started two days ago as well. Our district held an event over the summer for kindergarteners to practice riding the bus (in the high school parking lot) so I think that helped. My daughter did say it was weird there weren't any seatbelts and that the bus goes "fast".
Anyway, I say that because:
- Yeah, fuck that process. Sorry you're dealing with it and the rush of teachers trying to move cars along.
- Maybe write to the school to see if they can hold a "bus riding practice" event one weekend?
- Another idea, write to the school to see if they'd be open to a "special drop off area" for parents who know they'll need more time getting their kid out of the car and into the school.
Well, I'm getting bad vibes from this administration. To be fair, every single parent who's taken their kids here said they were awesome. So, okay, they have a decent reputation. But I don't think they're down with suggestions and so I think a different approach might be necessary.
Why I say that is because on day 1, we were told by the teachers outside the what for and why is and they weren't negotiating.
A couple other kids had the same problems ours did, so we got this very administrative email last night thanking us for our patience and understanding, with assurance that the procedure has been amended to make sure children would be escorted into the school. So you get 1-2 more teachers outdoors and none of them are helping the kids inside. Uh huh.
So, my idea is to ask them exactly what dropoff procedure they have for kids on an IEP and go from there. Absolutely get an answer, take names, and then very politely ask them why in the good golly fuck didn't they follow it because grabbing an autistic kid by an arm and then giving up sure as shit isn't going to be part of the process.
But, like I said, I'm new to the game, so I figured I'd ask for alternatives. If none, I'll at least do that.
Just some ideas. How's the kid liking their class and teacher?
We met the teacher and her aides. They all seem great. They know their shit, they know how to work with kids and they aren't indoctrinated. So, seems okay there. Kiddo's dealing with it okay I guess. According to her it's a bit of a mixed bag. Sounds about normal.
Yours taking to school well, or are they getting homesick?
Please love yourself.
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I think this is an issue that resolves itself with time. The teachers on drop off will learn to recognize the special needs kids when they arrive, and very well might get a special needs teacher to be on hand at drop off and will be better prepared to handle it.
And since the kid’s autistic, will decide the true problem is Gender Identity and get to work on fixing the kid.
@LuFins-Dad said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
I think this is an issue that resolves itself with time.
Okay, what if it doesn't? There's not a single teacher or administrator outside that school the least bit interested in helping that kid out.
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Somewhat of a conundrum. It would seem the core issue is too many parents dropping off.
Is there a neighborhood friend on the bus where she might follow their lead? You might find the bus is the best answer.
@Mik said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
Somewhat of a conundrum. It would seem the core issue is too many parents dropping off.
Is there a neighborhood friend on the bus where she might follow their lead? You might find the bus is the best answer.
Well, she's getting it. I'm not concerned with her long-term. I wonder about that other kid.
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What is her birth month? You say she's younger than most. Possibly holding her out another would put her in a better position.
@Mik said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
What is her birth month? You say she's younger than most. Possibly holding her out another would put her in a better position.
August. She's pretty close to the line. We thought about that but we'll see how it goes for the first week or two. Honestly I think it'll work out. Like Jolly said and all.
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@89th said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
First, congrats to a kindergarten start. I'm in the same boat, my oldest (5) started two days ago as well. Our district held an event over the summer for kindergarteners to practice riding the bus (in the high school parking lot) so I think that helped. My daughter did say it was weird there weren't any seatbelts and that the bus goes "fast".
Anyway, I say that because:
- Yeah, fuck that process. Sorry you're dealing with it and the rush of teachers trying to move cars along.
- Maybe write to the school to see if they can hold a "bus riding practice" event one weekend?
- Another idea, write to the school to see if they'd be open to a "special drop off area" for parents who know they'll need more time getting their kid out of the car and into the school.
Well, I'm getting bad vibes from this administration. To be fair, every single parent who's taken their kids here said they were awesome. So, okay, they have a decent reputation. But I don't think they're down with suggestions and so I think a different approach might be necessary.
Why I say that is because on day 1, we were told by the teachers outside the what for and why is and they weren't negotiating.
A couple other kids had the same problems ours did, so we got this very administrative email last night thanking us for our patience and understanding, with assurance that the procedure has been amended to make sure children would be escorted into the school. So you get 1-2 more teachers outdoors and none of them are helping the kids inside. Uh huh.
So, my idea is to ask them exactly what dropoff procedure they have for kids on an IEP and go from there. Absolutely get an answer, take names, and then very politely ask them why in the good golly fuck didn't they follow it because grabbing an autistic kid by an arm and then giving up sure as shit isn't going to be part of the process.
But, like I said, I'm new to the game, so I figured I'd ask for alternatives. If none, I'll at least do that.
Just some ideas. How's the kid liking their class and teacher?
We met the teacher and her aides. They all seem great. They know their shit, they know how to work with kids and they aren't indoctrinated. So, seems okay there. Kiddo's dealing with it okay I guess. According to her it's a bit of a mixed bag. Sounds about normal.
Yours taking to school well, or are they getting homesick?
@Aqua-Letifer said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
We met the teacher and her aides. They all seem great. They know their shit, they know how to work with kids and they aren't indoctrinated. So, seems okay there. Kiddo's dealing with it okay I guess. According to her it's a bit of a mixed bag. Sounds about normal.
Yours taking to school well, or are they getting homesick?
Good to hear.
Ours is liking it so far. She did 2- or 3-day preschool for the last two years so she's somewhat familiar with an elementary school, although with preschool the parent walks the kid to school, makes sure they have their lunch, jacket, etc. Kindergarten...the kid is in charge of all of that. As expected, she's tired and moody in the evening after such a mental workout each day, but we take it in stride. Admittedly, we also got lucky as the neighbor across the street also has a 5 year old girl who's in the same class as ours, so I'd imagine they help each other on the bus, in the cafeteria, etc.
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I was an August kid too, so was 17 when I graduated. Not sure how another year would have changed anything, but worth considering if there is a quality alternative. It's expensive, but I highly recommend a year or two of Montessori. It paid huge dividends with our daughter.
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I was an August kid too, so was 17 when I graduated. Not sure how another year would have changed anything, but worth considering if there is a quality alternative. It's expensive, but I highly recommend a year or two of Montessori. It paid huge dividends with our daughter.
@Mik said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
It's expensive, but I highly recommend a year or two of Montessori. It paid huge dividends with our daughter.
Yeah, that's our plan B. As you say, expensive but it can really help.
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Yeah July/August can be a tough call. Certainly there are studies that show the benefits to waiting, but it's easy to say that without being the parent of an August baby. Ours is May 2018 and her friend is September 2017 and you can definitely tell the difference those extra 9 months gives a 5 year old.
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My son was born in July, and struggled a bit at first, but he did fine in the end. There was no perceptible difference by the time he reached middle school.
We put both of ours in Montessori. I don't think I've ever been happier with a school. My daughter would happily have stayed there forever.
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My son was born in July, and struggled a bit at first, but he did fine in the end. There was no perceptible difference by the time he reached middle school.
We put both of ours in Montessori. I don't think I've ever been happier with a school. My daughter would happily have stayed there forever.
@Doctor-Phibes said in Going to war with the school's car dropoff:
My son was born in July, and struggled a bit at first, but he did fine in the end. There was no perceptible difference by the time he reached middle school.
We put both of ours in private Montessori before school proper started. I don't think I've ever been happier with a school. At the time, it felt like a lot of money, but now I wouldn't change anything. My daughter would happily have stayed there forever.
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Oh, and a note on buses:
We let her do that right now, and no matter what kind of practice she receives, she's going to try to get off at different stops from time to time. Sure as you're born, she will do that. So the only safeguard there is relying on the bus driver to know this and do something about it. Would rather wait for her to get old enough that this is no longer a problem.
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Yeah that would be scary. Throw an apple airtag into her backpack? Yesterday in the afternoon, we did have a mom (from the prior bus stop) run up to our school bus stop telling us her 5 year old son didn't get off the bus (he was on it, but didn't get off at the stop).
