So....
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wrote on 5 Mar 2022, 22:06 last edited by
Did I ever tell you about the time my dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records?
So anyway I got kicked out of the library.
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wrote on 6 Mar 2022, 00:13 last edited by
So I said to my wife, “why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?
She said “because you don’t like it when I call you at work.”
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So I said to my wife, “why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?
She said “because you don’t like it when I call you at work.”
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wrote on 6 Mar 2022, 01:57 last edited by
This woman was running around trying to get dressed for a dinner party, and they were running late. She just couldn't make up her mind what to wear. Her husband waited patiently..,
She came flying through the room and said "I'm so frazzled... I don't know if I'm coming or going.."
Her husband says "you must be going. Because when you're coming you look like a Down's Syndrome kid trying to whistle....."
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wrote on 6 Mar 2022, 03:20 last edited by
When is it too late to have a baby shower?
Because my mom never had one for me and I need clothes.
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wrote on 6 Mar 2022, 22:21 last edited by
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wrote on 7 Mar 2022, 03:05 last edited by
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
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wrote on 7 Mar 2022, 21:13 last edited by
So, when they said, "History repeats itself..."
I wasn't expecting the entire 20th century in 2 years.
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 12:17 last edited by
Two cowboys are on the edge of a cliff when they hear the sound of war drums. One cowboy looks at the other and says, "I don't like the sound of those war drums." From below they hear someone shout, "He's not our regular drummer!"
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 15:02 last edited by
Knock Knock
Who's there
Grandpa
Oh shit! Stop the funeral!!
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 15:05 last edited by
My wife's dog died. I wanted to cheer her up so I went out and bought her another one just like it.
She got so mad at me.
"What am I going to do with 2 dead dogs???"
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 15:07 last edited by
I went to the doctor.. I pulled out my penis and said "I'm a little premature."
She said "I'll say.... I'm the receptionist..."
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 16:26 last edited by Larry 3 Sept 2022, 16:28
I picked this girl up in a bar the other night and we went to a motel. After a few mi tues I said "I'm sorry, but I seem to be having trouble getting an erection."
She said "don't worry about it. That used to happen to me too...."
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 16:30 last edited by
I saw some people of the street today holding up a sign saying they were collecting money for Parkinson's research..
They were all shaking cans, which I thought was a bit insensitive...
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 16:33 last edited by Larry 3 Sept 2022, 16:34
I was watching a really strange porno movie the other day. 30 minutes of some old guy sitting there wanking off and crying....
Then I noticed I'd forgotten to turn on the tv...
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 16:37 last edited by Larry 3 Sept 2022, 16:38
I called the rape advice hotline the other day..
Apparently it's intended for only victims....
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 16:42 last edited by
We couldnt decide if we wanted to bury my mother in law or have her cremated...
So in the end we decided to let her live....
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wrote on 9 Mar 2022, 16:48 last edited by
My wife told me the best way to perform oral sex was to spell out the alphabet with my tongue.
I got pretty good at it too..
She left me for some Chinese guy....