The New Coffee Room

I really do appreciate everyone’s thoughtful responses. This is not an easy to deal with issue. There was a thread started a little while ago about how this forum had changed, this person thought it was for the worse. But I honestly feel like it has gotten better, more thoughtful posts about everything, including politics. - I’ve started reading and posting more here because of that feeling. So thank you.

Three lately that I’ve binged and really liked - “Sirens”, “Dept Q” (ok, the plot was a little much, but it was pretty entertaining), and “The Better Sister”

Jesus. This is both hilarious and terrifying. I cannot believe we are here.

I appreciate all of your comments. My intent was not to gang up on LD. The screaming far left isn’t any better than the screaming far right. And we always hear about the extremes in the media. But there are real people in the middle of this. I agree with Ken, sorting it out is going to take awhile. We need more compassion and less fear and anger.

I get that it is hard to wrap your mind around the scenario, but that doesn’t mean someone else can’t be that way - and it doesn’t have to be labeled an “issue” - like it’s something that needs to be fixed, if that makes sense. It’s just a difference. Ok, these may not be the best examples, can’t wrap my head around anyone wanting to fly into space or climb Mount Everest, but that doesn’t mean there are not people who feel like that is what they need to do to lead a fulfilled life. I don’t have to understand it, but i do accept it. There are things I won’t risk for myself (unnecessary surgery, like plastic surgery) but a lot of people do body changing surgeries to feel better about themselves. Breast implants, nose jobs, facelifts, whatever. I wasn’t someone who did hormone therapy for menopausal issues - but people do take hormones for all sorts of reasons, and though I wouldn’t do that for myself, I accept that others may want to. I know this is complicated. And I don’t have any answers for the sports stuff - though rare when it actually makes a difference, that feels like a wicked problem to me. But I do have a relative (through marriage ) who is trans. And a kid who is non-binary. These people are our loved ones. And they deserve to be accepted and loved for who they are.

I didn’t see that thread last year,Horace. Most people prefer not to pile on. I’ve written and erased a response already the lasts couple of days. This board it fairly trans hostile, and so I erased what I wrote yesterday. But I’m speaking up now.

I think mental disorder is the wrong term, 89. Best way I can explain how I think about it is like the continuum of a bell curve, where there will always be a smaller number of people out towards the edges in any category, outside of what the ‘average’ is, whether physical characteristics or mental characteristics. It’s not “wrong”, it’s normal, as in it’s the way life works. And vilifying the people on these edges isn’t helpful. We breed for unusual characteristics in plants and animals for Pete’s sake. And we can’t accept any unique differences in our own species. It’s really sad.

@Doctor-Phibes said in 2025 Pride - Day 4:

Why not do a series on blacks? Or how about Jews?

I find this anti gay stuff extremely fucking tiresome. I'm sure I'm not alone in having friends and loved ones who are non-binary.

You are not alone. These threads make me extremely unhappy.

@taiwan_girl said in Very handy tool:

Would that be easier than just a regular saw?

More compact to carry if you are out on a trail on foot or a bike.

@LuFins-Dad said in Anyone else struggle with booze?:

I’ve been able to curb my alcohol habit by injecting heroine. I’m down to just 2 glasses of beer a week!

I rarely drink alcohol now. At some point, your body just isn’t happy with it anymore - for me, even just one drink, two for sure (especially wine) can trigger a migraine, or can make me feel under the weather the next day - it doesn’t always happen, but it happens enough that it’s just not worth it. I love beer and wine, but I don’t like wasting a day anymore. I drink NA beer or soda water when I want something cold and fizzy now. The saddest part is - when you no longer drink - you start to notice how many of your friends and relatives really do have issues with alcohol - even though they manage to function during the day.

My home town.

Jesus.

@Renauda said in Biden's taint is ill:

@jodi said in Biden's taint is ill:

@jon-nyc said in Biden's taint is ill:

Trump’s message was classy. For real.

Agree. My dad had prostate cancer, they caught it early, did the surgery and told him likely something else would kill him before it did. He developed Frontotemporal dementia and died a few years ago.

Following PSA screening in 2018 and a bioposy in 2019, I was diagnosed with a Gleason 6 prostrate cancer. A subsequent MRI scan and another (ugh) bioposy a more aggressive garden of cancer cells were detected. Choice was surgery or radiation. I chose the former and the surgery was done in early June 2020.

After now five years my PSA level has remained at .01 . Will do this year’s follow up PSA test sometime in June or July. Anticipate that everything will be A okay again.

Early detection through screening was the key. For me it was totally asymptomatic.

Glad they caught yours early!

@89th said in Biden's taint is ill:

@jodi said in Biden's taint is ill:

My dad’s voice changed, got kind of squeaky. But he didn’t forget us like my mom has. He insisted to the staff in memory care that he call both my brother and I on Christmas morning (he died less than 3 months later). He knew where he was and his sense of direction was amazing, which meant he could get places he wasn’t supposed to go, and quickly. But he lost impulse control and that was dangerous, because he would feel the need to immediately act on a thought and when he was stopped he could get angry. Angry and afraid. He did not deal with memory care well. It was heartbreaking.

That's tough. In an odd way, I'm lucky parents have not had major medical issues yet, but in their 70s, I'd have to imagine they'll be facing some similar scenarios in the next decade or two. Hard to imagine, yet easy to see. Sad.

Both my parent’s symptoms started to become apparent to the rest of us when they were in their early 80’s. I think earlier than that to them. My dad was a mathematician, he has an (old) algorithm named after him. Work was his life, and he continued to consult, etc after retirement. I remember asking him about work one visit and he said he could no longer do the calculations.

My dad’s voice changed, got kind of squeaky. But he didn’t forget us like my mom has. He insisted to the staff in memory care that he call both my brother and I on Christmas morning (he died less than 3 months later). He knew where he was and his sense of direction was amazing, which meant he could get places he wasn’t supposed to go, and quickly. But he lost impulse control and that was dangerous, because he would feel the need to immediately act on a thought and when he was stopped he could get angry. Angry and afraid. He did not deal with memory care well. It was heartbreaking.

@jon-nyc said in Biden's taint is ill:

Trump’s message was classy. For real.

Agree. My dad had prostate cancer, they caught it early, did the surgery and told him likely something else would kill him before it did. He developed Frontotemporal dementia and died a few years ago.

@blondie said in We didn't have a Mothers' Day thread.:

Your IG post of your mom and her sweater made me tear up @jodi . My mom and I didn’t get along too well growing up, but I’d give almost anything to see to hear her again.

️

Thanks! We (Steve) drove about 1300 miles round trip and visited Steve’s parents, some old friends, one of our kids, and visited my mom in memory care (she no longer knows who I am).